Comparison sounds like an impactful word when it comes to workplace strategies. One could compare a design, cost, codes, etc. Something that will help us derive the best, a word that can get us the best result.

What about the same word when it lands unannounced in our personal lives. Parents comparing the siblings, teachers comparing kids, an adult comparing the current relationship with the older ones or with the others. Spouse’s comparing their better half with the other peoples better half. The same favorable word “comparison” becomes a not so right word.

I haven’t heard of anyone who says “I love the way my mom compared me to my sibling” or a woman telling; “I appreciated the way I was compared to the wives of his friends.” I haven’t come across anyone who is happy comparing their lives with others in general. Now is there a reason why we don’t like comparisons or is it ok for us not to like the word at all?Is “comparison” the reason for discomfort or is it the context in which it is used?Or is comparison good at all? Is it a needed word in life?

There are over 7 billion unique souls on this planet then how and why do we compare? Why would we want anyone to be like the other person? Is it because we like what is tested and proven ? or does it mean we are shying away from learning new things? Is comparison helping us remain in our comfort zone?Does the word shake us up so much that we want to be back with the familiar always?

The thought of how this word could be damaging millions of people on a daily basis shudders me. Kids are striving to be like someone else just because of what a parent wants. A lover is trying to be someone else to please his partner, a spouse attempting to being someone else to impress their better half. Will this ever sustain?Won’t this damage and steal our real identity?

Psychologists say, do not compare and let everyone be the way they are. My friend used to work with a manager who always said when I was “x” age I did all of this work quickly. So now he expected that if anyone is of “x” age, they should be like how he was then. So whenever a fresher joined the company, they were always judged and continuously compared to his ability to do things while he was this age. There is no mercy, no empathy, no accepting that things change and that person is not a clone. The only constant in the company was high attrition.

I was compared to my classmates, my neighbors, my colleagues, my friends, etc. and I honestly didn’t grow up liking it. So I always thought why can’t we accept each one of them in our lives for who they are and however they are. How about finding what their strengths are and supporting it? How about correcting someone with no comparisons? Can “suggestions” be a more helpful way to deal with it? Instead of wanting the familiar or what we have experienced, how about adapting to what is there?

Doesn’t this quote explain what comparison does to all of us?

However, there is one kind of comparison which will work the best, and it is a comparison with the self. How I was five years ago to now could be an example, that can lead to learning and growth.

Anything stated in the positive will leave a powerful impact on one’s mind. So what would you do choose ? “suggestion”, “appreciation”, “comparison” or become aware of the current pattern? Choice is entirely yours 🙂

Love and Light!