Hello There , I started writing on Facebook out of sheer passion , a passion that was harboured within me from the time I learnt to write . I started with poems which rhymes :) , i made a journal and hid it with me over years until I reached my teens to only destroy them for I felt they were silly .. I still penned down all my dark secrets, my pain , my happiness from the terrace of my home . I loved to scribble despite the fact that I had the worst handwriting on this planet(in my opinion).. I will always say thank you for technology else how will I have communicated to the world what I wanted to?
I finally created a hashtag #randomthoughts and started writing , later changed it to #mystory and realised people started liking them and began requesting me to write more .. So here I am only because of your love ,creating a blog to pen my thoughts .. I have been told by the super power that it is my purpose to keep others happy and that I have to do my bit to bring change and good. It is my personal responsibility and I hope I help one soul if not all and that will be happiness for me.
Here on this blog you will find stories that pop up in my little brain , some reviews of food as I believe food is us as we are made of food and few random thoughts :) , that word doesn't go away from me however I try .
While I am not writing or procrastinating to write I love to meditate, Enjoy learning about our body, cooking ,fitness and reading. I am a hopeless dreamer , love to eat and travel , believe music is life and love to laugh(giggle is appropriate) ..
I was doing a mundane chore today -ironing at home. I enjoyed the peace and calm, and it got me thinking. What has become of the world we live in?
There was a time when ironing meant using bulky irons filled with coil I think. They had to heat up slowly while we waited patiently. They were prone to shocks, so my dad would do it, and I would just watch. Even the istriwalla at the corner of the street was considered a luxury, and even he took his time with his coal iron.
Now, the iron box takes just a few seconds to turn on. It’s light, efficient, and does its job quickly. And yet, we are still not satisfied! we want the best iron, and now there is even an iron-free spray. Innovation doesn’t stop, and somewhere, it overwhelms me.
We want more, faster, better. But I feel we are born to be slow beings. There is a rhythm to each of us, unique in its own way, and this fast-paced life disrupts that rhythm. It removes our grounding and slowly turns us into unhappy people.
Do we even realize it? Perhaps not. Then who does? Maybe the people around us?
I see impatience growing within us. Waiting five minutes for a cab feels like too much, whereas growing up, we would cycle or wait for a bus that came when it came. Today, we complain about the weather 🙂 something that isn’t even up for debate.
Our need for instant gratification has quietly taken over us to the point that we are living in a trance.
I wonder what would happen if, for one day, everything stopped and life returned to the 1900s. Would we survive, or would we call that life a crisis?
There was a time when I would jump the gun before I even knew what was happening.
Then came a phase where I would pause… and still jump the gun automatically after something happened.
Later came a phase where something would happen, I would pause, ruminate… and then jump the gun anyway. 😄
It was the only learned response my body knew.
While I can smile and laugh looking back now, the truth is, it was very hard. Hard for me, and hard for the people around me.
At the time, I barely had the capacity to hold space for myself, let alone for others.
It was a loop. A vicious one.Like a dog chasing its tail.
It looked something like this:
Heard something → My body felt alerted (though I was unaware) → I reacted → The other person felt offended → My body felt more activated → I reacted again…
You can imagine where that cycle led.
After trying everything, the most powerful solution I discovered was surprisingly simple: my breath and meditation.
The most powerful tool I carry… and never knew I had.
Now I’m in a space where I still get triggered—but not nearly as intensely as even a year ago.
And when it happens, I can often watch it… and simply be.
It’s hard to explain how freeing that feels.
It’s like I carried a rock on my back for years, and I’m finally learning to set it down..one small chip at a time.
And it is worth it.My biggest learning?
If we are reacting, we are usually in the past. If we are responding, we are in the present moment.
Grateful for the awareness.
It’s a long journey, and I suppose the learning never ends.
I always tell people that if we were diagnosed with mental health issues, most of us would be tested for something positive. Conditions like OCD, ADHD, or Dyslexia are some examples. We live in a country where we have a community with immense support. There are families , friends , neighbors etc (many with no boundaries!). As a result, mental health takes a back seat. The western culture approach is so radically different and therapy is a part of life. We as a Nation are catching up of course. I was walking in the park one morning and my eye fell on this piece of paper on the ground.
I glanced at it and kept walking but by the time I finished a loop of the park ,my mind stuck to that pamphlet and took me on a journey 🙂 . For the most part of my school I always read a to-let board as toilet. I consistently and continuously did this irrespective of on what building the board was!
I never spoke out or asked anyone why is that house or building called a Toilet? I never reasoned it out nor did I have the courage to talk out loud and become a laughing stock! At some point, I had an epiphany but I have no memory of when exactly. I realized it read TO-LET(woo hoo!), which has a totally different meaning. I kept asking myself,” how did I miss the hyphen” for all of the past years but I never got an answer. I buried it in the hatchet and moved on. That morning, the pamphlet resurfaced the memory and I was compelled to share it.
I am sure I had my reasons to be embarrassed as a kid. I was not comfortable being honest or vulnerable for the fear of being judged perhaps? I hope I don’t give or be a reason for anyone around me to feel the way I did. This is silly but it stayed with me which means it meant something!
Feels so good to let this cat out! What is that silly thing which is of no significance in this Universe that you are holding on to? Care to share with me or talk out loud? I promise its worth it!
I have had allergies since the age of 9, if I recall correctly. I have lived on antihistamines for most of my life. The medicine I used to take when I was a kid was banned in India. It was discontinued decades ago. I became aware of this Ayurveda process called Nasyam about 8 years ago. I tried it once, but with the wrong person. What happened after that was PTSD. I was in distress the whole day. I felt the ghee had seeped into my brain. I had no respite. To cut a long story short, it was a nightmare!
This time, I decided to get Nasyam done at an Ayurveda center. I was very scared. I went in with a lot of fear. Before I say more about the process I underwent, I would like to describe my allergy symptoms. It’s sneezes that can be like Diwali crackers or a big rocket. Watering/itching eyes plus itchy/runny nose. I had figured out a suppression mechanism that worked out when, but my life was on a standstill for that day or couple of days 😦 ..
I would take a drowsy antihistamine, eat chocolate, and junk food. I would consume anything I wouldn’t eat on a normal day. This helps me stuff away my discomfort. Eventually, I fall asleep thanks to the tablet. This has been my life for decades!
Let’s get back to the Nasyam process.
Step 1: They massaged oil on my face and opened up my sinuses via the massage.
Step 2: I had to steam with water that had an Ayurvedic oil (smells a little like Vicks).
Step 3: I lay down with a tilted head. My therapist would administer 3 to 4 drops of Nasyam, aka Anutailam, into my nostrils. She would massage my nose and make sure the ghee was inside my nasal cavity. I was then asked to inhale it deeply.
Step 4: They burn a stick (Dhoomam, which looks like sage). She asked me to inhale the smoke from my nose. Then, exhale via my mouth for each nostril. That hit badly, and I coughed like I was on fire :). I was left wondering why do people really smoke 😀
Step 5: Gargle with salt water to spit out excess phlegm (sorry, this is gross).
I had to follow a diet which excluded cold food in terms of temperature. It was also based on the way Ayurveda describes food (Prakrithis). I couldn’t wash my hair that day, and also bland warm foods had to be consumed.
I did this for 7 days each morning and I must say the first thing I noticed was my skin was feeling softer ;). Jokes apart, I went through hell for the first 4 to 5 days. I had severe allergies; like my hubby said, I paid money to get sick. I suffered and maybe used up to 2 boxes of tissues each day! I was not great company to be around. I had to be clean(I realize I sound like an addict ;)) .This means no more meds, no eating all that junk, and no sleeping off. This was the worst few days of my year!
In this phase of my life I realize the only way out of anything is through it. I stayed strong because of this belief, I guess. My family struggled to see me suffer; they were in pain clearly. They gave advice to stop the treatment. They suggested getting an allopathy consultation. They even said it’s okay to eat what you like. They doled everything my way. I had to finally tell them I know you love me, but I need support and not ways to quit! I stuck to the regime and even after 7 days some mornings I woke up with sniffles.
I don’t know if my allergies have vanished. I feel hopeful that there is something ahead in life. I am stronger than the day I started the process. This process tested my grit, commitment, and also helped me get clarity in my brain. I feel my brain quietened a little and it made space for a growth mindset.
I feel this is something I will do every year to cleanse my sinuses and brain. I am starting to feel it’s worth the effort. I also feel if someone has no severe allergies like me, then they will not suffer the way I did. I went to Google to read about the experiences of others who have undergone this. I didn’t find any, so here I am typing away. If you have any questions or encouragement, I am here.
I wish you the best in your journey!
Love
Bindu
ps: If you have an option to do this process in a proper retreat, then please do that. This way your family won’t see you suffer and no one has to deal with managing the special diet!
I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago. She narrated a story about her old work place. She worked in a gas station and handled difficult customers all the time. People would be impatient. They would get mad at other customers at the gas station. Then, they would express all the anger at her as she managed the place. She was helpless and couldn’t do anything other than apologize. Yet, they would demand her to talk to her manager. She would promptly make that happen. The story is not about my friend who worked at the gas station. It is about the lady who was her boss. Let’s call her Katie. I don’t even know of her. Whenever an angry customer went and spoke to Katie she would call my friend and talk to her. Here is the twist, Katie each time there is an irate customer, calls my friend. She asked her, how are you feeling? Was it a lot? I hope you are doing fine and after listening to her completely she would then proceed to resolve the issue. This hit me like a thunderbolt.
When we are stressed no matter what causes us we usually dump it on others. Angry at work? Dump that on spouse, angry with spouse well kids can take the bait, angry at customer? There is an employee who faces it. We don’t pause for a second and think well! This is so hard for me to hear second hand. How difficult must it have been for the person who experienced it? How are they feeling? Are they ok? In most cases I am pretty convinced that we will beat ourselves up when we do a mistake. We stab ourselves repeatedly and when someone is bleeding what they need is first aid and not another stab!
I was so much in awe when I heard about what Katie did and it changed something in me. A switch that was turned on internally is how I can best explain it . I told myself to be mindful of the people I meet every day. I will strive to be a better human. I may err but next time when I do I will be aware and maybe gentle .. Give myself and others grace perhaps. As humans what we need is to be seen right .. I wish you luck with this practice too 🙂
Bindu Gopinath 