Hello There , I started writing on Facebook out of sheer passion , a passion that was harboured within me from the time I learnt to write . I started with poems which rhymes :) , i made a journal and hid it with me over years until I reached my teens to only destroy them for I felt they were silly .. I still penned down all my dark secrets, my pain , my happiness from the terrace of my home . I loved to scribble despite the fact that I had the worst handwriting on this planet(in my opinion).. I will always say thank you for technology else how will I have communicated to the world what I wanted to?
I finally created a hashtag #randomthoughts and started writing , later changed it to #mystory and realised people started liking them and began requesting me to write more .. So here I am only because of your love ,creating a blog to pen my thoughts .. I have been told by the super power that it is my purpose to keep others happy and that I have to do my bit to bring change and good. It is my personal responsibility and I hope I help one soul if not all and that will be happiness for me.
Here on this blog you will find stories that pop up in my little brain , some reviews of food as I believe food is us as we are made of food and few random thoughts :) , that word doesn't go away from me however I try .
While I am not writing or procrastinating to write I love to meditate, Enjoy learning about our body, cooking ,fitness and reading. I am a hopeless dreamer , love to eat and travel , believe music is life and love to laugh(giggle is appropriate) ..
I always tell people that if we were diagnosed with mental health issues, most of us would be tested for something positive. Conditions like OCD, ADHD, or Dyslexia are some examples. We live in a country where we have a community with immense support. There are families , friends , neighbors etc (many with no boundaries!). As a result, mental health takes a back seat. The western culture approach is so radically different and therapy is a part of life. We as a Nation are catching up of course. I was walking in the park one morning and my eye fell on this piece of paper on the ground.
I glanced at it and kept walking but by the time I finished a loop of the park ,my mind stuck to that pamphlet and took me on a journey 🙂 . For the most part of my school I always read a to-let board as toilet. I consistently and continuously did this irrespective of on what building the board was!
I never spoke out or asked anyone why is that house or building called a Toilet? I never reasoned it out nor did I have the courage to talk out loud and become a laughing stock! At some point, I had an epiphany but I have no memory of when exactly. I realized it read TO-LET(woo hoo!), which has a totally different meaning. I kept asking myself,” how did I miss the hyphen” for all of the past years but I never got an answer. I buried it in the hatchet and moved on. That morning, the pamphlet resurfaced the memory and I was compelled to share it.
I am sure I had my reasons to be embarrassed as a kid. I was not comfortable being honest or vulnerable for the fear of being judged perhaps? I hope I don’t give or be a reason for anyone around me to feel the way I did. This is silly but it stayed with me which means it meant something!
Feels so good to let this cat out! What is that silly thing which is of no significance in this Universe that you are holding on to? Care to share with me or talk out loud? I promise its worth it!
I have had allergies since the age of 9, if I recall correctly. I have lived on antihistamines for most of my life. The medicine I used to take when I was a kid was banned in India. It was discontinued decades ago. I became aware of this Ayurveda process called Nasyam about 8 years ago. I tried it once, but with the wrong person. What happened after that was PTSD. I was in distress the whole day. I felt the ghee had seeped into my brain. I had no respite. To cut a long story short, it was a nightmare!
This time, I decided to get Nasyam done at an Ayurveda center. I was very scared. I went in with a lot of fear. Before I say more about the process I underwent, I would like to describe my allergy symptoms. It’s sneezes that can be like Diwali crackers or a big rocket. Watering/itching eyes plus itchy/runny nose. I had figured out a suppression mechanism that worked out when, but my life was on a standstill for that day or couple of days 😦 ..
I would take a drowsy antihistamine, eat chocolate, and junk food. I would consume anything I wouldn’t eat on a normal day. This helps me stuff away my discomfort. Eventually, I fall asleep thanks to the tablet. This has been my life for decades!
Let’s get back to the Nasyam process.
Step 1: They massaged oil on my face and opened up my sinuses via the massage.
Step 2: I had to steam with water that had an Ayurvedic oil (smells a little like Vicks).
Step 3: I lay down with a tilted head. My therapist would administer 3 to 4 drops of Nasyam, aka Anutailam, into my nostrils. She would massage my nose and make sure the ghee was inside my nasal cavity. I was then asked to inhale it deeply.
Step 4: They burn a stick (Dhoomam, which looks like sage). She asked me to inhale the smoke from my nose. Then, exhale via my mouth for each nostril. That hit badly, and I coughed like I was on fire :). I was left wondering why do people really smoke 😀
Step 5: Gargle with salt water to spit out excess phlegm (sorry, this is gross).
I had to follow a diet which excluded cold food in terms of temperature. It was also based on the way Ayurveda describes food (Prakrithis). I couldn’t wash my hair that day, and also bland warm foods had to be consumed.
I did this for 7 days each morning and I must say the first thing I noticed was my skin was feeling softer ;). Jokes apart, I went through hell for the first 4 to 5 days. I had severe allergies; like my hubby said, I paid money to get sick. I suffered and maybe used up to 2 boxes of tissues each day! I was not great company to be around. I had to be clean(I realize I sound like an addict ;)) .This means no more meds, no eating all that junk, and no sleeping off. This was the worst few days of my year!
In this phase of my life I realize the only way out of anything is through it. I stayed strong because of this belief, I guess. My family struggled to see me suffer; they were in pain clearly. They gave advice to stop the treatment. They suggested getting an allopathy consultation. They even said it’s okay to eat what you like. They doled everything my way. I had to finally tell them I know you love me, but I need support and not ways to quit! I stuck to the regime and even after 7 days some mornings I woke up with sniffles.
I don’t know if my allergies have vanished. I feel hopeful that there is something ahead in life. I am stronger than the day I started the process. This process tested my grit, commitment, and also helped me get clarity in my brain. I feel my brain quietened a little and it made space for a growth mindset.
I feel this is something I will do every year to cleanse my sinuses and brain. I am starting to feel it’s worth the effort. I also feel if someone has no severe allergies like me, then they will not suffer the way I did. I went to Google to read about the experiences of others who have undergone this. I didn’t find any, so here I am typing away. If you have any questions or encouragement, I am here.
I wish you the best in your journey!
Love
Bindu
ps: If you have an option to do this process in a proper retreat, then please do that. This way your family won’t see you suffer and no one has to deal with managing the special diet!
I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago. She narrated a story about her old work place. She worked in a gas station and handled difficult customers all the time. People would be impatient. They would get mad at other customers at the gas station. Then, they would express all the anger at her as she managed the place. She was helpless and couldn’t do anything other than apologize. Yet, they would demand her to talk to her manager. She would promptly make that happen. The story is not about my friend who worked at the gas station. It is about the lady who was her boss. Let’s call her Katie. I don’t even know of her. Whenever an angry customer went and spoke to Katie she would call my friend and talk to her. Here is the twist, Katie each time there is an irate customer, calls my friend. She asked her, how are you feeling? Was it a lot? I hope you are doing fine and after listening to her completely she would then proceed to resolve the issue. This hit me like a thunderbolt.
When we are stressed no matter what causes us we usually dump it on others. Angry at work? Dump that on spouse, angry with spouse well kids can take the bait, angry at customer? There is an employee who faces it. We don’t pause for a second and think well! This is so hard for me to hear second hand. How difficult must it have been for the person who experienced it? How are they feeling? Are they ok? In most cases I am pretty convinced that we will beat ourselves up when we do a mistake. We stab ourselves repeatedly and when someone is bleeding what they need is first aid and not another stab!
I was so much in awe when I heard about what Katie did and it changed something in me. A switch that was turned on internally is how I can best explain it . I told myself to be mindful of the people I meet every day. I will strive to be a better human. I may err but next time when I do I will be aware and maybe gentle .. Give myself and others grace perhaps. As humans what we need is to be seen right .. I wish you luck with this practice too 🙂
What do we actually do when someone hurts us? We chase them asking them for the “why”, ask the Universe “why me” , replay the scene a million times in loop if we are an over thinker perhaps? Blame the other person for all the fault so that we don’t have to take accountability for anything? Play victim maybe? Ok I personally am good at shutting down too 🙂 . So many ways to deal with hurt and I am sure there are hundred more ways I am yet to discover .I guess you get the gist of where I am coming from. And this is exactly what I have done and I have seen people around me do growing up as a kid and as an adult now. It’s a drill , I mean aren’t we all preprogrammed to follow the drill?
I have lived in the same loop or ways for all my life and also have witnessed my loved ones suffer in their own creative ways because of a hurt. However that flipped for me as I had an aha moment and the whole credit goes to Social Media (the evil one of course 🙂 ). I was fortunate to stumble upon a video which had an amazing story. What do we do if we are bit by a snake? Do we chase the snake for miles, blame it, fight it and die or do we chose to go to a doctor and get ourselves healed? the latter for most people I assume. Then why do we actually run around and chase the people who hurt us ? Is it because they are people? or because we don’t know what the overthinking, stress, anger, blame is doing to our own bodies? I cannot fathom the damage the negative toxic thoughts must have done to the cells in my body for so many years.
This was a pic while I was in NYC. I don’t know why I chose this image for this blog.
Here, I learnt that when I am hurt the first thing I should do is look within and see how I am feeling? what is happening and why did I feel that way? what was really happening and all this as an “observer”. Yes! Observer the word you would have heard from millions of gurus, therapists , books etc ..
I choose to become an observer when I am hurt and see what is playing out in my body and what is the story my mind is weaving. It has been a mind blowing revelation. It is so soothing and loving for myself, I feel seen and heard and in that light I am also able to see the other person for who they are. This is a practise and I have just begun my journey. I am working on making this a way of my life. I was hoping this learning of mine will help someone out there to be able to move on in their life and heal themselves from all the pain they have been holding on to. Instead of getting angry ,resentful and hoping the anger in us will hurt others just experience the anger and see it, label it, process it and release it. It has reduced the weight on my shoulders and I am truly lighter than how I was yesterday. All this because loving ourselves is the only way of life!!
I believe if I can do it so can others. I think the only way to do this is through continuous practise!
Such a heart-touching movie. No! I am not reviewing the movie but sharing the lessons I learned from it. The movie says one person can change things in others’ lives, knowingly or unknowingly. I think we impact people unknowingly, and we may not even remotely know the depth of it. In this movie, a man’s death changes lives.
I learnt that it’s important to listen, respect others, but listen and listen and listen, because we won’t know what others are feeling or need until we truly listen.
I learnt that anger or harsh words aren’t needed to express ourselves. When we are angry, we tend to scream, as we feel the other person is far away. Since we don’t feel heard, we scream so the other person listens clearly, but in reality, we are hurting ourselves and others. I remember the saying that “anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!”
If we are doing something, we need to do it completely or give our 100%. Skimming and doing things for the sake of it or to impress others doesn’t help anyone, not even ourselves.
We need to respect our elders and culture. Yes, as a younger generation, we may know a lot about technology, but the elders have seen life. If not for anything, we need to value and respect them for their extra time on this planet.
What others think or say doesn’t matter. It’s important to live in a way that keeps us and our loved ones happy. Materialistic things don’t take us far, but values do. Show off is vain.
Ask for help! Asking for help is the best thing we can do for ourselves and our loved ones. It’s not needed to remain strong and put up a facade, it’s okay to let the guard down and ask for help! For men especially, you can burden your partners to unburden yourselves, and they will only feel empowered and loved.
When we haven’t made a mistake, there is nothing to worry or stress about. It’s the best time to chill and relax. Sometimes, no one will believe us even if we scream at the top of our voice. Not everyone will understand us. Even God has haters, so it’s best to live life with a clear conscience. There is nothing to prove.
Being vulnerable, saying sorry, crying, being authentic is the real way of living. Arrogance won’t take us anywhere.
Always leave a person in a better space than you found them. Say goodbye fully and completely because we don’t know if there is a next time.
We are all connected in ways we will never know. We breathe the same air, we walk the same streets… we are more than we know.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you haven’t please watch this movie with the loved ones and the ones you don’t love at the moment because love is the only end!
Bindu Gopinath 