Author: bindugopinath

Hello There , I started writing on Facebook out of sheer passion , a passion that was harboured within me from the time I learnt to write . I started with poems which rhymes :) , i made a journal and hid it with me over years until I reached my teens to only destroy them for I felt they were silly .. I still penned down all my dark secrets, my pain , my happiness from the terrace of my home . I loved to scribble despite the fact that I had the worst handwriting on this planet(in my opinion).. I will always say thank you for technology else how will I have communicated to the world what I wanted to? I finally created a hashtag #randomthoughts and started writing , later changed it to #mystory and realised people started liking them and began requesting me to write more .. So here I am only because of your love ,creating a blog to pen my thoughts .. I have been told by the super power that it is my purpose to keep others happy and that I have to do my bit to bring change and good. It is my personal responsibility and I hope I help one soul if not all and that will be happiness for me. Here on this blog you will find stories that pop up in my little brain , some reviews of food as I believe food is us as we are made of food and few random thoughts :) , that word doesn't go away from me however I try . While I am not writing or procrastinating to write I love to meditate, Enjoy learning about our body, cooking ,fitness and reading. I am a hopeless dreamer , love to eat and travel , believe music is life and love to laugh(giggle is appropriate) ..

Aware love

I recently was listening to a podcast about an author who has worked with prison inmates. It was beyond my understanding when the author said that he sees people despite their henious crimes. While he passionately voiced that they are good humans behind their criminal labels. His empathy and passion for helping them was beyond the understanding of my intellect. It took a second for me to understand that, it was an Aha! Moment . It took a little while for my brain to process that what people do is beyond who they are. We are not what we do but we are much bigger than that action. What we do is an action and that doesn’t define us. It is a mindblowing concept and I wish I had learnt that eons ago. I wonder how much humility one needs to be able to see that. This thought has been thawing in the back of my mind , thanks to Oprah.

I clicked this blurred messy image amidst a stormy hail. I felt it explains how blurred my view was!

This morning I was learning the concept of aware love and that was what brought back gushing memories about the podcast. What is that you ask? Aware love is being aware of the person and loving them sans their actions. Seeing that someone’s action is not them but merely a choice they make. Being aware of that reality and loving anyways is unconditional love. An alien concept for many of us I assume as that means being non judge-mental. Seeing through a lens of compassion and yes! We are built to see others that ways apparently!

It was a light bulb moment and I felt the need to pen this down. I wish I was able to see this and understand this concept in the early years of my life then I wonder where I would be right now? That blog for another time.

A step further doesn’t this also mean not taking what others say or do personally, that means nothing is about us? That also means no one is controlling us but our own minds and belief systems? This concept is whooshing inside my head and going through every corner and picking up everything that comes in its way.

Aware love also means being aware of ourselves and loving ourselves despite the mistakes we make right? It has to ideally begin there I would think. The ability to see ourselves with love despite the mistakes we have made is aware love. If we can start with ourselves it will soon become a second nature for us!

This sounds too simple – If we are able to observe situations than judge them , we hit a home run .

While doing an exercise on self awareness I realized that my observations weren’t observations but judgements. My mind has been on auto pilot mode that it doesn’t even discern the difference between the two. Saying he/she was so rude to me which is a judgement vis a vis saying he/she said harsh things changes the way the story is written. When the theme of the story changes do does the ending isn’t it? Was this the really meaning of happy ending stories that I perhaps never understood because of the shallow romantic love displayed in movies?

I wish you unconditional love, aware love! I wish you happiness in life!

PS: I am writing after a long time so please forgive my rustiness

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Maui -A guide to travel during Covid

I set out to explore Maui with trepidation as a lot was happening in the world and the last thing I want to do is suffer for being adventurous(needy of some Sun and positive energy). I happened to speak to a client at Hawai, and he prompted, now is the time if you want to be here; the island is serene and not crowded, unlike every year. At this time of the year, Hawai attracts 40k travelers per day, and it is 8K now, he said, and that piqued my interests. Two of my friends were already headed to Maui, so that added the spring to my decision. Booking a place on Airbnb was easy breezy, and so were the flight tickets. I chose to fly Alaska Airways.

What was missing was information or alerts, which told me things I had to keep in mind before traveling apart from wearing masks and carrying sanitizers. Like the COVID 19 test was mandatory and had to be done 72 hours before landing at Hawai, failing which one has to do a compulsory quarantine for 14 days. Once you know this, it’s a sigh of relief as that sounds pretty simple. Well, not really!

I received an email from the airlines about the prerequisites and that the COVID test was mandatory. The Caveat being the test results were accepted only from centers approved by the govt of Hawaii. Click here for info https://hawaiicovid19.com/travel-partners/.

A few tips to avoid stress:

Please schedule a COVID test appointment asap and do not repeat the mistake I made, waiting to book a slot as it was to be completed 72 hours in advance. The COVID test places in the approved list were booked out for over ten days when I checked in November and panicked! I called over 8 locations, and the others didn’t even pick my calls. I finally had to request(plead) for help, and one of the Bartell Drug locations took me in and was very helpful.

Secondly, download the travel app https://travel.hawaii.gov

You have to update the trip on this APP, including your flight details and other info.

You have to fill in the Health questionnaire 24 hours before your flight.

You have to upload the COVID test result in the Document section, and the APP generates the QR code, which has to be handy to gain entry at Maui(Hawai)

When you land in Maui, there is a help desk set before you reach the baggage claim. They check your QR code, make necessary entries, and let you into the baggage claim area with a pink slip(pun unintended).Please keep the pink receipt handy as it has to be shown at the rental car agency in case you need to rent a car.

Everything was worth it, and I breathed easily as I exited the car rentals! The views and the energy of this place are DIVINE. While I am looking into the horizon, I hope this blog was useful. I wanted to share what I learned and ensure you I spare you the pain!

Mahalo!

The choice is mine and yours to make.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

The choice is mine and yours to make,
To react or respond is a choice we can make,
To dwell or move on is a choice we can make,
To be kind or not is a choice we can make,
Because the choice is mine and yours to make.

To blame or accept is a choice we can make,
To protest or suppress is a choice we make,
To defend or offend is a choice we can make.
Because choice is mine and yours to Make.

To hold tight or let go is a choice we can make,
To be sad or happy is a choice we can make,
To learn or unlearn is a choice we can make,
Because choice is mine and yours to make
Remember, even not making a choice is a choice we make!

Love and Light

Bindu

The Italian Grandmama!

It was a bright sunny afternoon and I was on a walk with a friend. We didn’t want to go to a restaurant as we weren’t comfortable with all the pandemic scare around. We walked for miles and talked about everything under the sun. We finally reached a spot under the tree for final bye exchanges and to go to our respective destinations – our home.

Image courtesy – https://unsplash.com/@cristian_newman

While we were busy wrapping up I see a lady walking on the pavement and she is very old. She( I will call her Nonna from hereon) is walking straight for a moment and walks into us the next , feels dizzy and collapses on the sidewalk on her seat. All this happens in a matter of few seconds and I am in shock. I don’t know what to do and I look at my friend for help and she is equally perplexed. Nonna wasn’t hurt but she was dizzy, scared, confused and she wanted help to get back on her feet. I felt anxiety rising inside me, feeling so uncomfortable with what was happening right in front of me.

She looked into my eyes and I was feeling so helpless as she was very old and I was worried for her health and mine. I wasn’t sure what was the right thing to do, the cars stopped by to offer help, the girl from a shop close by came to offer water. Nonna kept trying to get up but just couldn’t even move and she again asked me for help to get up. She didn’t engage with anyone but me and I was so present to that and that worried me even more as I felt responsible for her. She didn’t want to be told to sit or rest and that irritated her visibly , I sensed she felt trapped by her body and us.

So many questions on my mind what if she collapses again and hurts herself , what if she is sick , what if something happens to her. Is it safe to help her etc. I then look at her face she has aged so gracefully and all the wrinkles on her face has so many stories to share, she knows what she wants and all she asked me is a little help. We lock eyes again and she tells me help! I stop ruminating, I stop listening to people around me, I don’t wait for the ambulance to reach something inside me decided to do what she wanted. I offered her my hand and she hung on to it with all that she had, she held my leg to climb up and stand. She stood up and said I want to go. I asked her to wait, the other girl offered her water, my friend found the ambulance but she walked away. Nonna said I don’t know what happened to me but she put on a straight face and started walking

The paramedics tried to talk to her she questioned who they were and responded stating I don’t need help. She refused to engage with them and she refused to soften her gaze , she was in fear but she didn’t show it for a second and walked away with all the energy she had. I stood there sighing relief, regaining my breath with a thousand thoughts swimming in my head wondering will she be ok. The paramedic confirmed he knew where she lived as he saw her just a while ago when she started her walk so he felt she will reach safely. He said we can’t help if she doesn’t want to be helped.

I don’t know who she is , I don’t know how she is but her face is in my prayers everyday. I hope Nonna is fine and safe, I hope she is living happily. I hope she doesn’t fall again in this unstable world! I hope I learn to be as strong and bold like her if I reach her age because what she did needed a different level of grit and commitment to self.

I wish you well my Italian Grandmama, Nonna..

That Demon – Anxiety

I have experienced anxiety all my life but I never could label that feeling and I didn’t know what that meant till recently. I had to do a lot of reading to find out and name the experience and learn how to address it. This morning I woke up with a lot of anxiety and I thought it’s time I shared this so that if any of you reading this is in my shoes knows what to do. For me anxiety is racing heart, whirlwind thoughts( negative of course) , sweating , I feel limp accompanied by heaviness in the chest area. I feel it’s all over and I am sinking!

This is the most difficult time because all that I know and have learned goes out of the window. I get into a loop – a vicious cycle. Are you wondering what to do if one experiences this. To begin with if there is a loved one around or a friend who knows you well educate them on anxiety. The benefit of this is when the time comes they are there by your side just silently because that’s when we don’t want to hear “how we could be calm or have done something better or how it’s simple and we complicate it”. Basically prepare so that you receive no unsolicited advice 🙂

Secondly, move .. move your body. Walk, run, dance, work out because it helps shift the energy and hence shift the mood and hence shifts the anxious feelings too. If you can step into Nature there is no better cure, it’s magical how Nature can calm us down with her grounded energy.

Thirdly, breathe and write. Do the 4-7-8 breathing to calm yourself, it does it’s magic . Then write all that comes to your mind. I call it feelings dump until I have nothing to write. Recommended word count is 750. It relieves a lot of pressure off the monkey mind, try this and see the difference for yourself.

Fourth, do something you love. Maybe listen to music, eat good food, Chant mantra, cuddle your pet or your loved one( cuddling can cure anything in my opinion as touch has the power to heal) , read etc etc

What not to do: stay in the bed, stay in a dark room( have you heard demons live in the dark:)) , Don’t express this to someone who doesn’t know or understand the severity of anxiety because they can negate you in a second and push you deep down into the dump. It’s ok if someone in your family doesn’t understand, find a friend or a therapist or a group who does and share it with them because they know and understand and will never say, oh you are ok! Just take it easy!

I meditate and am a goof ball but this happens to me once in a while and I find it difficult too. I think that’s ok because I am human . Always remind yourself that this too shall pass and tomorrow is a new day filled with new opportunities.

The Window to life

A part of my home which I have never taken for granted- the window! It’s my window to the world. Now that I work from home I hover around the window all the time , my favorite place in my home is my window because it connects me to the world , to people outside it in a way I can never explain.

I have seen so many people so far but some stuck to my memory. Like the girls who happily danced on the street because they didn’t care and because they enjoyed each other’s company.

The lady who takes her smoke break and is in Nirvana the whole time in her drag, she forgets the world around her.

The lady whose spa is closed now because of Covid and is restlessly doing everything possible to ensure people walk in. Be it the poster or trimming the plants around her small spa keeping herself busy

The garbage truck man who comes in at the same time every singe day and completes his job effortlessly that I am left wondering it is so easy!

The service man who finished his assignment and decided to sit on the sidewalk and finish his lunch and he did that while he flipped through his phone

The couples who pass by occasionally holding hands, expressing love, clicking pictures because they are lost in one another

The humans who walks his/her dog, some are so much in love with their pet and some are so much in love with their 7 inch screen they hold

The homeless man who was relentlessly cussing and flashing his middle finger at every passer by, I thought he was so bold!

The sun, moon , the clouds who pass by me every single day.. reminding me that this too shall pass!

So many more.. they keep me company though they are not with me. Is that why they say do good even when no one is seeing because someone is always seeing you? You never know who is watching you, so always put on your good shoes because you might be making someone’s day somewhere!!

How are you “feeling” today?

A question that had a template response in my head, and my standard response is I am feeling good. When a doctor asked how are you feeling? Utmost I would come up with I am feeling sick. Yes limited vocabulary syndrome( I just made that up but let’s assume that’s what it is called) is what I have struggled with all my life. I can write but I cannot talk. The past year has been an eye opener for me and I learned that good and bad are not necessarily feelings. Insecurity is not a feeling, feeling blamed is not a feeling and I was totally agape! These are mere interpretation of how we are feeling. We might be feeling sad or angry behind the facade of insecurity. The primary feeling behind anger is frustration/ fear and I never knew this, I promise!! What was this? Why didn’t I learn this all these years were the questions on my mind. Coming from a conservative family that didn’t believe in communicating feelings I didn’t know what that meant or felt. I mean that is most of Indian population I would assume. The word feeling had no meaning or purpose in my life. It was much later when I was asked how is that I can’t emote when I can write it struck me that I was stuck in a whirlpool for many years. Did you ask how didn’t I drown? Well I had drowned but didn’t even realize I did.

It took weeks to digest this fact and been months since I am trying to express how I am feeling from the bottom of my heart. Since all of us say good most times it wasn’t helpful for me to hone the skill as others never connected with me. I finally figured that it worked when I talked to a handful of them whom I either didn’t know or know too well because in these scenarios they are trying to know you 🙂 .

There is a tool that helped me with learning how to name my feelings and I wanted to share the same with you. Its called the feeling wheel because all of us deserve to express beyond the auto pilot “good”. Until we communicate the other won’t know- no rocket science but yet something we dabble with as humans, right? . It is so crucial to share what we experience inside of us which no one can magically understand( that was my expectation for years hence this line :D) . I hope this helps you. It’s ok to be behind in expressing because it’s better late than never. Incidentally today I am ok not being able to express because I am aware of it. It’s ok because I have accepted that and acknowledge it and am willing to learn more as day goes by.

Psychology says the moment we name a feeling it loses its power over us! Awareness is the first step. Don’t you agree?

Love and Light

There may be no tomorrow!

I woke up this morning to a plethora of messages on my phone. I didnt know what was happening and dug into all my messages to learn that my best friend from college is no more. I was numb and shocked, to be clear we were rarely in touch after college. We tried to meet and let the relationship flourish but life had other plans and we grew apart. In my defense I would say Life happened and we went our ways.
After hearing the news of his death this morning I felt nothing changed and memories are all stored in our bodies. My heart is so heavy as I feel so sad that I was in my own world for so long. This jolts me into reality that life is so short, not even our next breath is guaranteed and I have been making fancy plans on how my future will be.

I have been living and trying to balance with one leg in the boat called now and another in the boat called tomorrow. Right now,I am left wondering what is life really? birth-life and death? Thats all? I know we will all forget this happened some day but I hope this learning stays with me till the end of my life. Events have a power to change lives and I hope this news does that for everyone whose life he touched. Abhi was a happy go lucky, mischievous guy all our college life, so strong yet so fragile and I was his friend yet his mother in many facets. I feel sad that I couldn’t bid him a bye 😥

I feel I have lived my whole life in anticipation of a better tomorrow. I am so heart broken and am here to remain myself and tell you that life is short:

if you have that friend you haven’t spoken to ,say hello!

if there is someone who you have taken for granted tell them how much you love them,

if you have been living for others then start living for yourself

if you have been living in the next moment remember there may be none.

Live like there is no tomorrow because in reality there maybe none!

Thats what I have relearned this morning.

Live Love Laugh

Bindu

How Covid-19 will change our lives forever

Amidst the pandemic and quarantine, my mind is on a whirlwind. I stopped following the news a while ago because there were information overload and irrespective of whatever I read the best I can do is take care of myself and follow the hygiene. It’s like how they say on the airplane “wear your oxygen mask first before you help your fellow passengers” here I will take care of myself first so the others are safe. I still don’t know why is this so difficult to understand for many.

Anyways back to me and my monkey mind! I have this theory so this is what I feel happened.

Earth was tired and in pain the way we humans were handling her. Deforestation, pollution, dirt, racism, negativity, corruption, etc was in full swing and Mother Earth was in tears and decided to “pause” as that is the best way to heal. A mother loves her children but when they turn rouge she has to step back and let them face the repercussions as that is the best way to teach. Earth, the Stars, Moon, Stars, Nature, and animals had a meeting and they collectively decided to help mother earth fix all the issues. They discussed and decided that there has to be pain as most humans learn only with pain and fear as they do not understand the language of love. Earth didn’t want to wipe everyone away but chose a few who will sacrifice themselves to teach mankind a lesson on “how to live”.
There came the Virus to teach humans to pause and heal. To teach us to savor the moment and live in the present. The more arrogant anyone got the more the damage so it was inevitable that one slows down.
That is the intention of the meeting or should I say action items.

->We are all homebound and erasing distances we built with our loved ones as we didn’t have time – I think that Earth is hoping that after COVID 19 distances are bridged and we spend time with our loved ones than run away.
->Work from home – This will teach companies how to conserve resources and save- I am guessing her plan is to make corporates realize what discussion needs travel, a meeting or can it be a mail hence saving time and energy.
->We are all beautiful so we don’t need beauty services to make us beautiful. Remember the saying Beauty is an inside job. It’s good to look nice but it has to be paused as we need to accept and be ok if there is no spa or a haircut just the way our ancestors lived. Basic living comes above our need to look good- Wondering if Earth planned to ensure we spend wisely on the beautification, not as an obsession but for fun.
->We have taken everyone and everything for granted – I think she is hoping after this pandemic we will value fresh air, a walk in a grocery store, a sip of coffee at a coffee shop or having a meal at a restaurant or just walking freely inside a park or just hugging a friend.
->There is no poor or rich or caste or color or anything that can stop Mother Nature from treating us as equal- Be it Tom Hanks or someone on an unknown street in Italy everyone will face the same treatment. Everyone is Equal is the message here.
->Gratitude- With all the losses she ensures that we will remember to be thankful for small things and we will value and respect ourselves.
We will remember that life is short, we can plan what we want, we can invest in all that we want but a small virus can ruin us all. It’s so important to value the moment as we may be wiped out in no time.
->Arrogance and selfishness won’t work but love will. Love is the only way forward, love is the only way of life. If we love ourselves and spread love, love will come back to us. If we harm ourselves then we harm others as we are all social beings.
->Cleanliness is next to Godliness this is a known thing – I am guessing her Goal was to make sure we will all remain clean after the pandemic as this becomes a way of life. Washing hands is not an unknown rule, it’s normal and we don’t need to be told to wash the dirt.
->Isolation and Social distancing helps us to know ourselves more, heal our bodies and soul, helps us discover ourselves in-depth- The earth will become a better place to live after this pandemic most certainly if everyone understands the value of being in our own company.

Amidst all these people have lost jobs, their loved ones, their peace, and fear have engulfed but it is a reminder that we are together in it and no one is alone. I am in awe the way so many of them are doing their bit to spread positivity and cheer. There are so many free meditation classes, free workouts, blogs, positive messages, quotes on social media that the love is overwhelming and it is proof that we are not alone in this and there is an army behind us who cares even if they do not know us. Let’s just pause and breathe and be in the moment, let us learn to love ourselves and accept that is the only way to live, let’s wipe away Mother Earth’s tears and bring cheers to ourselves.

May we and our Mother Earth be free from pain, May we live happily until we are on this planet.

Love and Light
Bindu

Bindu Gopinath

Food – Life – Travel