Author: bindugopinath

Hello There , I started writing on Facebook out of sheer passion , a passion that was harboured within me from the time I learnt to write . I started with poems which rhymes :) , i made a journal and hid it with me over years until I reached my teens to only destroy them for I felt they were silly .. I still penned down all my dark secrets, my pain , my happiness from the terrace of my home . I loved to scribble despite the fact that I had the worst handwriting on this planet(in my opinion).. I will always say thank you for technology else how will I have communicated to the world what I wanted to? I finally created a hashtag #randomthoughts and started writing , later changed it to #mystory and realised people started liking them and began requesting me to write more .. So here I am only because of your love ,creating a blog to pen my thoughts .. I have been told by the super power that it is my purpose to keep others happy and that I have to do my bit to bring change and good. It is my personal responsibility and I hope I help one soul if not all and that will be happiness for me. Here on this blog you will find stories that pop up in my little brain , some reviews of food as I believe food is us as we are made of food and few random thoughts :) , that word doesn't go away from me however I try . While I am not writing or procrastinating to write I love to meditate, Enjoy learning about our body, cooking ,fitness and reading. I am a hopeless dreamer , love to eat and travel , believe music is life and love to laugh(giggle is appropriate) ..

What I learnt in the past few weeks Courtesy -COVD19

The last few weeks have been stressful and it only gets worse by the day. Innumerable Whatsapp forwards, each publication chasing readership numbers and news channels wanting higher TRP. Media is making their own life interesting and ensuring ours is exactly the opposite- Fearful. Every day I would wake up and google for “Corona update” and then read all the news and feel fear bubbling inside me. Finally, I decided to put an end to this pandemic in my life, remove it from my head. I haven’t looked up the news in the last 48 hours and it feels so good.

I am not being ignorant, I have accepted that there is something tiny(in size) compared to us in the world capable of wiping us off the planet. I am aware that it can harm us and I also know what it has been doing and many channels already shared the future projections. I am certain I will get an update on my timeline when there is a breakthrough in the vaccination. For now, I am enjoying my time and these are my discoveries/learnings:

  • I am more in touch with family and friends, I feel the bonding which was missing for long. I think social distancing took people away physically but brought them closer in our hearts. These are times we should be thankful for technology no?
  • It is another reminder that life is short. One second we are all in Lala land and another there is a virus which can destroy us. So life is short irrespective of the coronavirus. If we don’t love ourselves and our loved ones now then we will never. 
  • Awareness that life is all about “change” deepened for me. It’s all about ups and downs, whichever direction we go in we have to return to the other way and in reality, nothing is permanent and it shall all change. The only reality is Change. 
  • I decided to make reading positive reinforcement books/articles a part of my daily life and I am enjoying the process. My current read is Be Here Now – Baba Ramdass
  • I discovered that my word now is “pause” something I haven’t dealt with elegantly all my life as I am in a rush to finish things. Now I decided to lose the rate race and win the moment!
  • I started appreciating life and myself more. 

I am learning more and enjoying the pause even though at times this situation is unbearable, I remind myself this too shall pass. I hope and pray that this pandemic instills a positive attitude in people along with hygiene. My heart goes to all the people who have lost their loved ones, I wish that hadn’t happened. I wish strength and awareness to the rest of us to let go of fear as fear kills faster than Corona does.

I wish you well! My prayers:

May everyone be free from Suffering,
May everyone be Healthy,
May everyone be at Ease,
May everyone be Happy

Love and Light!
Bindu

What are you hiding behind?

A new luxury brand is about to launch its lipstick range and I was mightily excited. I was so elated at the possibility of being able to own one lipstick from them and flaunt it. While I was reading details on the launch and squealing in excitement something hard struck me. Why do I need this lipstick? (I am a hoarder and have many shades with me already) How different can this brand be? then why the need?


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My instant response was I want to look nice! That color is divine and it will make me look beautiful. I asked myself, look nice for whom? My defense mechanism was immediately activated to justify stating “It is for my own eyes” and no one :). That’s how I have always ended up buying more things especially lipsticks as I have an underlying addiction towards them. I started thinking more and realized how as a kid I was told that my lips didn’t look good and I had the need to cover them up. I being the lucky one who started dancing at an age of 4, always had one lipstick around me to apply for the dance shows, a magenta as only that suits a dusky girl. It became my obsession to hide behind the lipstick’s once I started earning on my own. If I am found without them I will be damned, people will hate me was my paranoia.

Until 2 years ago I was that ways and slowly started working my way up and learned that people like me for who I am and not for the lipstick I wear. I have to be honest I still can’t live without them but I am a work in progress as I would like to say. But the stigma is so strong that I am still dabbling with it. It is so important what we say to a growing child, it’s so important to encourage them and tell them their positive qualities than the negatives. Its so important not to body shame them and not make beauty about physical looks. I lost track of my point :), it was just 2 days ago something jolted me back to reality. It struck me that each one of us is unique and is beautiful. Then why do I need to become beautiful like someone? How can any product on the shelf make me look like anyone? Whatever we do we cannot look like someone when each one of us is unique.

It is so important what we say to a growing child, it’s so important to encourage them and tell them their positive qualities than the negatives. Its so important not to body shame them and not make beauty about physical looks

It saddens me that the cosmetics industry is striving on that pulse of women, pardon me I say women because makeup is mostly used by us. I never realized that a brand can’t make me beautiful and I kept buying every brand to attain the beauty standards that were imposed on me by society, by the conditioning. I am so grateful for the Aha moment and I wanted to share it here. It is lipstick for me, have you ever thought what is that thing you hide behind than facing the reality?

Is it work? Social media likes? Pleasing people etc? Have you thought how someone else is benefiting from it while we are beating up ourselves for not being good enough? Its time you found your lipstick while I work on letting go of mine.

Love and Light,

Bindu

Life happens, you like it or not

Life happens, you like it or not

You like it or not it is yours and for you to live,

Things will change and they are meant to, you like it or not.

Live in the present,
Soak in the space around, enjoy the very moment,
Devour the food in front of you,
Laugh with the loved one,
Listen to the person across the table,
Be involved in the meeting or classroom,
Hug someone completely, enjoy the moment like it is the last because it is!

The moment right now is Unique,
We cannot recreate it,
Every moment is a gift-wrapped for us with love from the creator,
You like it or not it is for you to unwrap.
We can choose to look away, look behind or look ahead but the moment is still here,
The moment is yours and for you to live.

It’s not anyone’s loss that you didn’t enjoy the moment but yours,
You can wallow all that you want on what was done or said or happened,
You can regret what didn’t happen or happened,
You can pine for what you don’t deserve,
You can chase for what you don’t want,
For life is still happening in the now, the moment is what we lose when we are chasing the then and later.

It’s not too late, it’s now or never,
Choose to live in the now or to look at the past,
NOW will give you learnings and a lot of opportunities,
THEN will tickle your brain and remind you of what is in the past,
NOW will give you what you didn’t get in the past,
But if you are busy looking behind, you will lose what is in the front,
For it’s not past that gives what you need but the present,
Look now, look in here, look within, look around, this is life, my dear.

Life is what happens while you chase the past or dream of the future,
Life is what you are missing because you are not in the present.
You did not choose your past but you can choose your NOW,
The choice is yours, to make the change,
Enjoy it while it lasts or look behind and complain in the end.

For life is what happens in the now my friend,
NOW is a choice, choose what you want,
Breathe in deeply and soak in the NOW,
It might be good or bad or painful but it is the truth,
You can choose to run away or hide but it won’t cease to happen,
If you live in the NOW the moment will cease soon, I promise,
Because change is life and nothing is here to stay.

There is a day after night, there is a rainbow after the rain, there is summer after winter, you like it or not,
Life is what is happening now my friend, you want it or not.

The angry pedestrian

I was driving across a green signal and was stuck just before the walking zone because a car ahead of me decided to drop or pick someone( guessing was an Uber) . I waited while the pedestrian crossing turned green. A middle aged man with his partner was crossing from across the road and seeing them I didn’t inch ahead as I knew I was in the wrong spot and have to wait for them to cross and I was in their space . While I waited this gentleman abused me verbally, almost banged his fist on my car fuming in Anger, he kept looking into my eyes and using profanity and I felt sad as I couldn’t help him or explain to him or make him feel any better. I haven’t heard anyone abuse me so much on my face, looking into my eyes. I made a sad face, I apologized and gestured that I am helpless but nothing calmed him. Or maybe it did and that was the reason he didn’t bang my cars hood. He crossed and I drove away.

While the other cars ahead of me moved and I along with another car just behind me moved but this man remained in my mind. I was left wondering how important is “perspective” in life.

For him rightly in his position I was that driver who jumped the signal at the nick of the moment and got caught at the pedestrian crossing so he was angry at me that he expressed it in the ways he could. He felt I was maybe a rash driver who was inconsiderate and in all fairness he is right to assume what he assumed.

Reality was I didn’t jump the signal, someone ahead of me stopped and that paused my movement. I was unhappy to be on the crossing junction as I am very particular about following rules. My reality is while I was sorry I was in the wrong spot I wasn’t actually at fault as I didn’t anticipate someone stopping ahead and causing the jam. I was wrong but my intent wasn’t what the pedestrian saw.

This incident left me feeling it is so easy for us to point fingers at others and vent out all our frustration at them because they didn’t do it right, or the way we want them to do things or they didn’t follow the rules. I am guilty of this several times in my life but how beautiful will it be to pause and understand the scenario or assume the best intent and walk away. How nice would it be to wish someone good and giving them a benefit of doubt in life. This is a lesson for me and a huge one. His face is still in front of my eyes but fortunately I didn’t get angry at him which I feel grateful for.

I wish I get to use my intellect to see perspectives of situations in life, I wish I get to be mindful of others situation in life, I wish I get to be empathetic to others, I wish I always see the glass half full.

Love and Light!

What is growth?

A question I have dabbled with in the past and continue to now, what is growth? Is it the balance I manage to accumulate in my bank account? Is it the place I live or the clothes and bags I own? Is it the car I drive? Is it the friends I made or the places I explored? I feel everything defines growth in different ways for each one of us but this morning I realised what it might be for me.

I was talking to my grandma over the phone and she asked me to keep myself warm and wear a sweater because the weather is cold. It was a simple , obvious advise which I loved hearing and smiled at myself after I ended the call. This is growth, why you ask?

In the past I would have told her I know what to do or scoffed or lectured her on how I know how to keep myself warm with all arrogance in ignorance but today I realise love is not only about saying I love you. Its about taking care of small things and sharing small things with our loved ones. I realise no one in this world will pause and tell me wear warm clothes than my loved ones so I dont want to take that for granted. I know that I am blessed to have someone tell me that I have to take care of myself. I started valuing it and I think that is growth. 

Growth is being a better person than I was yesterday or a minute ago. Growth is being aware and trying to put that in action, Growth is wanting to be a better person for self and the others.

Does this mean I will give up buying things or getting angry? Well No! I am human and I will do all of that but these small moments of gratitude and presence of mind to accept what is coming my way is what I am grateful for.

This is my realisation a few minutes ago and I wanted to share that with you all. You never know who needs to read this today and realise the value of that they already have. Sharing my learning , I hope you pause and enjoy the small things in life and I pray I continue to do the same.img_1485

Thats a pic of me as a baby, I dont know why I chose that for this blog but yes I have grown 😉

 

Love and Light 

Bindu 

I want to be a Tree!

What do I want to be if given another chance to live? I would never have answered  this question a few months ago. But now my answer is clear, A Tree! 

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I was walking in the park one evening and came across this giant tree(amongst so many more trees). She was so tall that I couldn’t see her branches beyond a point, she was old yet strong, she slanted yet didn’t budge. I stood under her , hugged her and just stayed with her. It’s so amazing that such a huge living being is so still while there is so much happening inside of her. The leaves ruffle but she is so grounded. Nothing small can deter her stance. I so want to be like her. Be stable and not let small things sway away my happiness, share all the love but don’t ask anything in return, take the bad vibes but only give out good, give the best to everyone. 

I held both my palms on the bark ,closed my eyes for a while and felt grounded . I was overwhelmed  by her energy . How can someone who is so still do so much without making noise I was bewildered. There is so much to learn from her on how to live life, right?

Hence if I have another life then I want to be a tree. I want to be like her for the rest of my life too.

Go through the seasons with no complaints but with poise ,

Give with no expectations,

Stand steady for people who want or don’t want me in their life,

Accept situations for what they are and just keep living a positive life.

Stand tall yet sway with the breeze, accept that nothing outside me is in my control . In short, Live Life to the fullest. 

I was so touched and humbled by her power that tears wouldn’t stop gushing , I was so over powered by her positive energy, I felt very blessed. I felt the need to share this with you all while I was sitting under her majestic branches, protecting me from harsh sun rays and comforting me that there is shade even in Sun. 

Nature is the best cure and there is a reason why! 

Sending positive vibes your way!

Stay Happy!

Bindu

The Moon



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She stared at me all night,

Changing color, hue, and light,

She glowed from within and it was real,

I felt pure love flowing into me.




She taught me to remain big yet don't make noise,

She said it's ok to fade and go away,

Life is a cycle what goes around comes around,

Keep glowing even if no one is seeing.




My power is mine and I never talk

Some know of me and some don't,
It doesn't affect me if I am seen or not,

I am still here for a purpose and I play my part.




The body you own is not yours,

The thoughts that occur are not you,

The people you crave for you do not own,

Despite all that you own you leave here as dust.



Its dawn and it’s time for me to leave,

Remember that life is short here so please Live,
Don't live in fear or fret what others will think,

Just Breathe, Live and Let Live.




BG

	


	


			
				


			

			
I am Beautiful!
		
	
	

		
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My Bare Skin Pic


I have grown up feeling like an ugly duckling. No one ever left a stone unturned to comment on my skin color or my height. Dark was dirty and tall means how will I find a man? Everyone asked me this from friends to strangers. I carried this baggage on my shoulders all these years. I covered myself up in makeup, in products that promised a porcelain skin, I was a guinea pig for every possible product. All I wanted to prove to everyone was that I am beautiful.


What we are told as a kid becomes our limiting belief, it shapes our belief system and after that, whatever happens, we go by what our mind was told repeatedly. Some become defensive, some surrender, some gets depressed and some rebel. I had every trait in me more of a rebel growing up as a kid and defensive as an adult. I wasn’t aware of these traits while I was growing up even if my mother called me a rebel I wouldn’t understand because I didn’t know what it felt like not being one. The reality is I was protecting myself.


My journey went on for years and I loved dressing up and I still do but the makeup was an intrinsic part of my life. I would hide and cringe at the thought of how people will perceive my acne prone skin or how they will judge me(This wasn’t an assumption but an experience- we don’t take a second to comment on others weight, skin or clour do we?). I never realized that the biggest scar was inside my head and not on my skin. 


This past month I finally have realized and accepted that beauty is an inside thing and my skin isn’t my identity. I have been interacting with a lot of people over the phone and they have been very appreciative of me and they don’t even know how I look and that struck me! I have met people around me who appreciate dark skin as beautiful. Each time someone told me they will kill to have my skin tone I shrunk as I couldn’t believe my ears. Something changed, a little shift took place and I feel so liberated to share that I haven’t been applying makeup to my face and I haven’t felt this beautiful ever. I still have scars and I know they will fade. I know I am growing old and my skin will wrinkle and I am ok as I am just human.


Why did I have to share this with you? I have struggled with this insecurity inside me and wanted to share with everyone who still secretly is suffering. It isn’t easy to talk about and it not everyone understands. If you are going through any of the above I mentioned always remember people who love you won’t care about how you look and people who don’t like you do not matter.  Irrespective of what others say, there is one choice we can make- instead of covering up our faces and making others happy we can uncover our faces and make ourselves happy.


For the others who are quick to comment on others or in body shaming, just remember you are scarring someone for life, especially if it is a kid please be kind as it takes a lot of energy to fight back and stand up for ourselves.


The only person we have to face at the end of the tunnel is us. What is she/he said I know they were all bad to you but how did you treat yourself?


You are beautiful the way you are!


Love and Light


Bindu


PS: I still love makeup but for fun and not to hide behind it 🙂

	


	


			
				


			

			
What is letting go?
		
	
	

		
IMG_3528I hear everyone say let go, don’t hold on and I never understood the meaning of that. I couldn’t wrap my head around those words, I always fought back that I am not holding on! In the past year, I have learned to listen to myself clearer than I have all my life. That doesn’t mean I have arrived, I have a long way to go and I would like to call myself a work in progress. I have learned that my mind is a drama queen. She talks for the topic and against the topic in the same breath and it didn’t help me when I was alone. It was a huge battle I had to fight. I wondered is it just me? I was made to feel that I am an abnormal soul by a couple of my friends who listened to me. Then I started reading and researching as I wanted to understand more. Eckart Tolle, Oprah, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Panache Desai, B K Shivani , Tony Robbins etc the list is long and it was such a relief to learn that it was not just me! But what was even better to learn is that I am one of the blessed ones as I am aware of what’s happening and awareness is the beginning of everything.


It went on until I came across  Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul. This book has taken me by surprise. I am in awe of what I read, I haven’t re-read any para or lines or chapters like I have in his book. The best part? as usual, I received the book at the right time, right day and right second of my life.


He is now teaching me what is letting go. What we listen to is not us, when we can listen to something then that is not us and we become someone who is watching or noticing that is happening. The moment we step back and notice then we are not associated with the banter. When we have not associated magic happens as we do not react. Letting go is relaxing our bodies and breathing, the energy passes, the feeling goes away, the uneasiness disappears. The energy isn’t blocked in our body which then breeds all negativity.


He has an analogy for all that we carry he describes it as the thorn on our arm touching a nerve(I cringed at this thought). What are the options to deal with it really? Just 2. One is work around it and he describes this so beautifully. We can put a cast, change our environment, change everything around us continuously to accommodate the thorn and live with it and in this case end of the day, we are doing everything around what the thorn is dictating. It decides when we live and how or second simpler solution is letting go! removing the thorn and live life happily the way we want.


The irony is most of us choose option one to protect ourselves and live defending ourselves every second we breathe, wanting to control everything around so that we are safe. I felt the need to share this with you with the hope that if you are in the same boat as I am then this will help.


So this is how it all began,


It was a Saturday morning and I was very unwell. I woke up to comment against my name and something triggered me(my thorn- my fear). I reacted, I defended, cried foul, I fought, I ended up making the person who commented small. I kept thinking about what happened, why did I do what I did. I did not have answers but I knew that something wasn’t right. Now I know it was my way of protecting myself against all the conditioning I have gone through in my life, the limiting beliefs I have built. A painful realization that I have lived like this for so long. The best learning was that fear is a part of being human but its good to be present to it and not fight it. It’s ok to be wrong. It is never about the person who said anything its the thorn inside me which is hurting me. So it has always been about the thorn inside me.


The next time if someone is angry I hope and pray to God to give me the ability to pause and understand what is their primary emotion because anger is the secondary one and unfortunately we see just that emotion as it is on our face and loud. No one does anything to hurt us deliberately but they are fighting a war inside themselves. The primary emotion could be shame , fear, uncertainty, insecurity. Mine was shame. Something I have become aware of just now and hoping it stays with me.


Learning is an ongoing process so is self-care, the day we stop we become rusty and stink and will spiral without our own knowledge.


I wish you become aware of the demons you are fighting and let go of them and Breathe!


PS: Sorry to the person who I hurt and others who I might have hurt several times in the past, I wasn’t aware of anything. I did the best I could then.