Category: Life

Living in a Trance 

I was doing a mundane chore today -ironing at home. I enjoyed the peace and calm, and it got me thinking. What has become of the world we live in?

There was a time when ironing meant using bulky irons filled with coil I think. They had to heat up slowly while we waited patiently. They were prone to shocks, so my dad would do it, and I would just watch. Even the istriwalla at the corner of the street was considered a luxury, and even he took his time with his coal iron.

Now, the iron box takes just a few seconds to turn on. It’s light, efficient, and does its job quickly. And yet, we are still not satisfied! we want the best iron, and now there is even an iron-free spray. Innovation doesn’t stop, and somewhere, it overwhelms me.

We want more, faster, better. But I feel we are born to be slow beings. There is a rhythm to each of us, unique in its own way, and this fast-paced life disrupts that rhythm. It removes our grounding and slowly turns us into unhappy people.

Do we even realize it? Perhaps not. Then who does? Maybe the people around us?

I see impatience growing within us. Waiting five minutes for a cab feels like too much, whereas growing up, we would cycle or wait for a bus that came when it came. Today, we complain about the weather 🙂 something that isn’t even up for debate.

Our need for instant gratification has quietly taken over us to the point that we are living in a trance.

I wonder what would happen if, for one day, everything stopped and life returned to the 1900s. Would we survive, or would we call that life a crisis?

Leaving you with this thought

Love and light

Bindu

I Used to React to Everything. Now I Don’t (Most of the Time)

There was a time when I would jump the gun before I even knew what was happening.

Then came a phase where I would pause… and still jump the gun automatically after something happened.

Later came a phase where something would happen, I would pause, ruminate… and then jump the gun anyway. 😄

It was the only learned response my body knew.

While I can smile and laugh looking back now, the truth is, it was very hard. Hard for me, and hard for the people around me.

At the time, I barely had the capacity to hold space for myself, let alone for others.

It was a loop. A vicious one.Like a dog chasing its tail.

It looked something like this:

Heard something → My body felt alerted (though I was unaware) → I reacted → The other person felt offended → My body felt more activated → I reacted again…

You can imagine where that cycle led.

After trying everything, the most powerful solution I discovered was surprisingly simple:
my breath and meditation.

The most powerful tool I carry… and never knew I had.

Now I’m in a space where I still get triggered—but not nearly as intensely as even a year ago.

And when it happens, I can often watch it… and simply be.

It’s hard to explain how freeing that feels.

It’s like I carried a rock on my back for years, and I’m finally learning to set it down..one small chip at a time.

And it is worth it.My biggest learning?

If we are reacting, we are usually in the past.
If we are responding, we are in the present moment.

Grateful for the awareness.

It’s a long journey, and I suppose the learning never ends.

What do you choose—past or present?

Love and Light,
Bindu

Fixing is not love

I had an epiphany this morning.Drum roll, I am a fixer.

I try to fix things, even when it might hurt the very people involved.

That realization felt very unsettling.

I was advising my little brother, and he means the world to me.But somewhere along the way, my advice became controlling.

When I looked back, I saw it clearly. It was exactly what he didn’t need.

I paused and asked myself, what am I doing?

Pain and roadblocks are what make us stronger.

If we never learn to fall and get back up, we may end up living in fear of falling at all.

Isn’t that a scary way to live?

But that’s what we sometimes do.

We fix others because we love them.

In the process, we make them dependent and even weak.

Here is the harder truth I had to face.

Fixing someone without being asked isn’t always love.

Sometimes, it’s selfishness.

It makes us feel needed.

It gives us control.

But love doesn’t take over someone’s journey.

It allows.

Maybe what people really need isn’t fixing,

but gentle guidance, offered with compassion,

and the space to choose for themselves.

I apologized to him.

I realized I have to let him live his life and experience it fully.

Love, when not aware, can quietly turn into control.

I am glad I woke up to this.

Have you?

Light and Love ,

Bindu

Awkward Silence? I am Not So Sure

gazing at the sky

Whoever came up with the phrase “awkward silence” was probably not doing inner work.

Not judging—I believed in it too. I have used the phrase many times.

But today, I see it differently.

Silence might actually be what we need most.
To heal. To integrate. To learn.

At some point, words just become noise.

If we can stay with silence it can take us somewhere deeper.

How?

When we are silent, we start to:

  • listen to our own mind’s chatter
  • notice what we’re feeling
  • think a little more clearly

And I’m starting to feel that words can sometimes be a way of giving away our power.

We often talk when we are uncomfortable.
Instead of sitting with a feeling, we explain it, repeat it, soften it with more words.

It feels good in the moment.
But does it really change anything?

We can glorify ourselves through words.
But that doesn’t always move us forward.

I am beginning to see that a lot of what we are looking for is already within us.

We are like these powerful systems and yet we look outside for answers, or even fear what’s being built outside(AI).

But what if the real intelligence we need to understand,is already here?

What if it’s just buried under all the noise?

Maybe we don’t need more input.
Maybe we need more silence.

Want to know more?

Stay quiet for a bit and listen.

Ssshhhh…

Love and Light

I Thought Awareness Was Enough

Standing at Kashi Viswanath temple in Varanasi, overlooking the crowd and temples
Standing at Kashi Viswanath temple in Varanasi, overlooking the crowd and temple. Pic Credit- Pandit Ji

I used to think awareness was everything.

I could read a room.
I could sense what was happening.
I could understand situations quickly.

And I believed that meant I was aware.

Many people say awareness is the first step.
But I am starting to wonder.. what if we stop there?

What if we just keep watching?

Because that’s what I did.

I saw things clearly, but I didn’t move.
I stayed in the same place, almost admiring the awareness.

Awareness is powerful.
But what are we doing with it?

If nothing changes, then what is it really giving us?

Action is life. Movement is nature.

If we only observe, we can become spectators in our own lives.
And maybe that’s a choice.

But if we want to move forward, awareness alone isn’t enough.

The question I find myself asking now is:

I can see all of this clearly.
Now what am I going to do about it?

Do I sit with it, think about it, stay where I am…
or do I take the next uncomfortable step?

Because change isn’t easy.

It feels like walking through fire.
And most of the time, I would rather avoid it or just stand in the rain and wait.

But for how long?

Until the fire reaches me?
Or the rain slowly wears me down?

It sounds dramatic when I say it like this.
But isn’t that what we do?

I often wonder why it’s so hard to stay with discomfort.

Because sometimes I know what needs to be done.

And yet, I still find it hard to just be with it.

Love and Light

Bindu

The Fear I Didn’t See

Sitting at Rama temple in a yellow saree, quiet moment
Temple Morning

I’ve lived with fear for most of my life without even knowing it.

Not the obvious kind.
A quieter one.

The kind that makes you:

  • finish people’s sentences in your head
  • assume what others are thinking about you
  • prepare responses before they are done speaking

I thought I was aware.
But I was reacting… constantly.

I was always trying to be seen as good.
Trying to be right.
Protecting an image I didn’t even realize I was holding on to.

And now when I look back, it feels strange.

How did being right become more important than peace?

Why did I think people had the time to sit and think so much about me?

It feels almost silly when I say it out loud.

But it also feels “real”

I can see it now, but I’m not fully out of it yet.

I have trained myself to avoid feeling things so well that my body doesn’t quite know what presence feels like anymore.

And when I say that, I also see that I’m the one who trained it this way.

So then… who am I?

If I am not my thoughts, and I am not my body,
then who am I?

A name?
A role?
A daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend?

Or just someone passing through, thinking she knows, only to realize she doesn’t?

I don’t know if I am ready yet
to be wrong,
to be seen differently,
to not be “good.”

But I can also see that maybe… none of that matters as much as I thought it did.

Love and light

Bindu

Embracing you!

I always tell people that if we were diagnosed with mental health issues, most of us would be tested for something positive. Conditions like OCD, ADHD, or Dyslexia are some examples. We live in a country where we have a community with immense support. There are families , friends , neighbors etc (many with no boundaries!). As a result, mental health takes a back seat. The western culture approach is so radically different and therapy is a part of life. We as a Nation are catching up of course. I was walking in the park one morning and my eye fell on this piece of paper on the ground.

I glanced at it and kept walking but by the time I finished a loop of the park ,my mind stuck to that pamphlet and took me on a journey 🙂 . For the most part of my school I always read a to-let board as toilet. I consistently and continuously did this irrespective of on what building the board was! 

I never spoke out or asked anyone why is that house or building called a Toilet? I never reasoned it out nor did I have the courage to talk out loud and become a laughing stock! At some point, I had an epiphany but I have no memory of when exactly. I realized it read TO-LET(woo hoo!), which has a totally different meaning. I kept asking myself,” how did I miss the hyphen” for all of the past years but I never got an answer. I buried it in the hatchet and moved on. That morning, the pamphlet resurfaced the memory and I was compelled to share it.

I am sure I had my reasons to be embarrassed as a kid. I was not comfortable being honest or vulnerable for the fear of being judged perhaps? I hope I don’t give or be a reason for anyone around me to feel the way I did. This is silly but it stayed with me which means it meant something!

Feels so good to let this cat out! What is that silly thing which is of no significance in this Universe that you are holding on to? Care to share with me or talk out loud? I promise its worth it!

Love 

Bindu 

How are you feeling?

Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago. She narrated a story about her old work place. She worked in a gas station and handled difficult customers all the time. People would be impatient. They would get mad at other customers at the gas station. Then, they would express all the anger at her as she managed the place. She was helpless and couldn’t do anything other than apologize. Yet, they would demand her to talk to her manager. She would promptly make that happen. The story is not about my friend who worked at the gas station. It is about the lady who was her boss. Let’s call her Katie. I don’t even know of her. Whenever an angry customer went and spoke to Katie she would call my friend and talk to her. Here is the twist, Katie each time there is an irate customer, calls my friend. She asked her, how are you feeling? Was it a lot? I hope you are doing fine and after listening to her completely she would then proceed to resolve the issue. This hit me like a thunderbolt.

Photo by Abdelrhman Magdy on Pexels.com

When we are stressed no matter what causes us we usually dump it on others. Angry at work? Dump that on spouse, angry with spouse well kids can take the bait, angry at customer? There is an employee who faces it. We don’t pause for a second and think well! This is so hard for me to hear second hand. How difficult must it have been for the person who experienced it? How are they feeling? Are they ok? In most cases I am pretty convinced that we will beat ourselves up when we do a mistake. We stab ourselves repeatedly and when someone is bleeding what they need is first aid and not another stab!

I was so much in awe when I heard about what Katie did and it changed something in me. A switch that was turned on internally is how I can best explain it . I told myself to be mindful of the people I meet every day. I will strive to be a better human. I may err but next time when I do I will be aware and maybe gentle .. Give myself and others grace perhaps. As humans what we need is to be seen right .. I wish you luck with this practice too 🙂

We humans, at times…..Sila Nerangalil Sila Manidhargal- Not a movie review!

Such a heart-touching movie. No! I am not reviewing the movie but sharing the lessons I learned from it. The movie says one person can change things in others’ lives, knowingly or unknowingly. I think we impact people unknowingly, and we may not even remotely know the depth of it. In this movie, a man’s death changes lives.

I learnt that it’s important to listen, respect others, but listen and listen and listen, because we won’t know what others are feeling or need until we truly listen.

I learnt that anger or harsh words aren’t needed to express ourselves. When we are angry, we tend to scream, as we feel the other person is far away. Since we don’t feel heard, we scream so the other person listens clearly, but in reality, we are hurting ourselves and others. I remember the saying that “anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!”

If we are doing something, we need to do it completely or give our 100%. Skimming and doing things for the sake of it or to impress others doesn’t help anyone, not even ourselves.

We need to respect our elders and culture. Yes, as a younger generation, we may know a lot about technology, but the elders have seen life. If not for anything, we need to value and respect them for their extra time on this planet.

What others think or say doesn’t matter. It’s important to live in a way that keeps us and our loved ones happy. Materialistic things don’t take us far, but values do. Show off is vain.

Ask for help! Asking for help is the best thing we can do for ourselves and our loved ones. It’s not needed to remain strong and put up a facade, it’s okay to let the guard down and ask for help! For men especially, you can burden your partners to unburden yourselves, and they will only feel empowered and loved.

When we haven’t made a mistake, there is nothing to worry or stress about. It’s the best time to chill and relax. Sometimes, no one will believe us even if we scream at the top of our voice. Not everyone will understand us. Even God has haters, so it’s best to live life with a clear conscience. There is nothing to prove.

Being vulnerable, saying sorry, crying, being authentic is the real way of living. Arrogance won’t take us anywhere.

Always leave a person in a better space than you found them. Say goodbye fully and completely because we don’t know if there is a next time.

We are all connected in ways we will never know. We breathe the same air, we walk the same streets… we are more than we know.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you haven’t please watch this movie with the loved ones and the ones you don’t love at the moment because love is the only end!

Love and Light

Bindu