There was a time when I would jump the gun before I even knew what was happening.

Then came a phase where I would pause… and still jump the gun automatically after something happened.

Later came a phase where something would happen, I would pause, ruminate… and then jump the gun anyway. 😄

It was the only learned response my body knew.

While I can smile and laugh looking back now, the truth is, it was very hard. Hard for me, and hard for the people around me.

At the time, I barely had the capacity to hold space for myself, let alone for others.

It was a loop. A vicious one.Like a dog chasing its tail.

It looked something like this:

Heard something → My body felt alerted (though I was unaware) → I reacted → The other person felt offended → My body felt more activated → I reacted again…

You can imagine where that cycle led.

After trying everything, the most powerful solution I discovered was surprisingly simple:
my breath and meditation.

The most powerful tool I carry… and never knew I had.

Now I’m in a space where I still get triggered—but not nearly as intensely as even a year ago.

And when it happens, I can often watch it… and simply be.

It’s hard to explain how freeing that feels.

It’s like I carried a rock on my back for years, and I’m finally learning to set it down..one small chip at a time.

And it is worth it.My biggest learning?

If we are reacting, we are usually in the past.
If we are responding, we are in the present moment.

Grateful for the awareness.

It’s a long journey, and I suppose the learning never ends.

What do you choose—past or present?

Love and Light,
Bindu