Tag: presence

Living in a Trance 

I was doing a mundane chore today -ironing at home. I enjoyed the peace and calm, and it got me thinking. What has become of the world we live in?

There was a time when ironing meant using bulky irons filled with coil I think. They had to heat up slowly while we waited patiently. They were prone to shocks, so my dad would do it, and I would just watch. Even the istriwalla at the corner of the street was considered a luxury, and even he took his time with his coal iron.

Now, the iron box takes just a few seconds to turn on. It’s light, efficient, and does its job quickly. And yet, we are still not satisfied! we want the best iron, and now there is even an iron-free spray. Innovation doesn’t stop, and somewhere, it overwhelms me.

We want more, faster, better. But I feel we are born to be slow beings. There is a rhythm to each of us, unique in its own way, and this fast-paced life disrupts that rhythm. It removes our grounding and slowly turns us into unhappy people.

Do we even realize it? Perhaps not. Then who does? Maybe the people around us?

I see impatience growing within us. Waiting five minutes for a cab feels like too much, whereas growing up, we would cycle or wait for a bus that came when it came. Today, we complain about the weather 🙂 something that isn’t even up for debate.

Our need for instant gratification has quietly taken over us to the point that we are living in a trance.

I wonder what would happen if, for one day, everything stopped and life returned to the 1900s. Would we survive, or would we call that life a crisis?

Leaving you with this thought

Love and light

Bindu

I Used to React to Everything. Now I Don’t (Most of the Time)

There was a time when I would jump the gun before I even knew what was happening.

Then came a phase where I would pause… and still jump the gun automatically after something happened.

Later came a phase where something would happen, I would pause, ruminate… and then jump the gun anyway. 😄

It was the only learned response my body knew.

While I can smile and laugh looking back now, the truth is, it was very hard. Hard for me, and hard for the people around me.

At the time, I barely had the capacity to hold space for myself, let alone for others.

It was a loop. A vicious one.Like a dog chasing its tail.

It looked something like this:

Heard something → My body felt alerted (though I was unaware) → I reacted → The other person felt offended → My body felt more activated → I reacted again…

You can imagine where that cycle led.

After trying everything, the most powerful solution I discovered was surprisingly simple:
my breath and meditation.

The most powerful tool I carry… and never knew I had.

Now I’m in a space where I still get triggered—but not nearly as intensely as even a year ago.

And when it happens, I can often watch it… and simply be.

It’s hard to explain how freeing that feels.

It’s like I carried a rock on my back for years, and I’m finally learning to set it down..one small chip at a time.

And it is worth it.My biggest learning?

If we are reacting, we are usually in the past.
If we are responding, we are in the present moment.

Grateful for the awareness.

It’s a long journey, and I suppose the learning never ends.

What do you choose—past or present?

Love and Light,
Bindu

Awkward Silence? I am Not So Sure

gazing at the sky

Whoever came up with the phrase “awkward silence” was probably not doing inner work.

Not judging—I believed in it too. I have used the phrase many times.

But today, I see it differently.

Silence might actually be what we need most.
To heal. To integrate. To learn.

At some point, words just become noise.

If we can stay with silence it can take us somewhere deeper.

How?

When we are silent, we start to:

  • listen to our own mind’s chatter
  • notice what we’re feeling
  • think a little more clearly

And I’m starting to feel that words can sometimes be a way of giving away our power.

We often talk when we are uncomfortable.
Instead of sitting with a feeling, we explain it, repeat it, soften it with more words.

It feels good in the moment.
But does it really change anything?

We can glorify ourselves through words.
But that doesn’t always move us forward.

I am beginning to see that a lot of what we are looking for is already within us.

We are like these powerful systems and yet we look outside for answers, or even fear what’s being built outside(AI).

But what if the real intelligence we need to understand,is already here?

What if it’s just buried under all the noise?

Maybe we don’t need more input.
Maybe we need more silence.

Want to know more?

Stay quiet for a bit and listen.

Ssshhhh…

Love and Light

I Thought Awareness Was Enough

Standing at Kashi Viswanath temple in Varanasi, overlooking the crowd and temples
Standing at Kashi Viswanath temple in Varanasi, overlooking the crowd and temple. Pic Credit- Pandit Ji

I used to think awareness was everything.

I could read a room.
I could sense what was happening.
I could understand situations quickly.

And I believed that meant I was aware.

Many people say awareness is the first step.
But I am starting to wonder.. what if we stop there?

What if we just keep watching?

Because that’s what I did.

I saw things clearly, but I didn’t move.
I stayed in the same place, almost admiring the awareness.

Awareness is powerful.
But what are we doing with it?

If nothing changes, then what is it really giving us?

Action is life. Movement is nature.

If we only observe, we can become spectators in our own lives.
And maybe that’s a choice.

But if we want to move forward, awareness alone isn’t enough.

The question I find myself asking now is:

I can see all of this clearly.
Now what am I going to do about it?

Do I sit with it, think about it, stay where I am…
or do I take the next uncomfortable step?

Because change isn’t easy.

It feels like walking through fire.
And most of the time, I would rather avoid it or just stand in the rain and wait.

But for how long?

Until the fire reaches me?
Or the rain slowly wears me down?

It sounds dramatic when I say it like this.
But isn’t that what we do?

I often wonder why it’s so hard to stay with discomfort.

Because sometimes I know what needs to be done.

And yet, I still find it hard to just be with it.

Love and Light

Bindu

The Fear I Didn’t See

Sitting at Rama temple in a yellow saree, quiet moment
Temple Morning

I’ve lived with fear for most of my life without even knowing it.

Not the obvious kind.
A quieter one.

The kind that makes you:

  • finish people’s sentences in your head
  • assume what others are thinking about you
  • prepare responses before they are done speaking

I thought I was aware.
But I was reacting… constantly.

I was always trying to be seen as good.
Trying to be right.
Protecting an image I didn’t even realize I was holding on to.

And now when I look back, it feels strange.

How did being right become more important than peace?

Why did I think people had the time to sit and think so much about me?

It feels almost silly when I say it out loud.

But it also feels “real”

I can see it now, but I’m not fully out of it yet.

I have trained myself to avoid feeling things so well that my body doesn’t quite know what presence feels like anymore.

And when I say that, I also see that I’m the one who trained it this way.

So then… who am I?

If I am not my thoughts, and I am not my body,
then who am I?

A name?
A role?
A daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend?

Or just someone passing through, thinking she knows, only to realize she doesn’t?

I don’t know if I am ready yet
to be wrong,
to be seen differently,
to not be “good.”

But I can also see that maybe… none of that matters as much as I thought it did.

Love and light

Bindu