Category: Life

The choice is mine and yours to make.

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

The choice is mine and yours to make,
To react or respond is a choice we can make,
To dwell or move on is a choice we can make,
To be kind or not is a choice we can make,
Because the choice is mine and yours to make.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

To blame or accept is a choice we can make,
To protest or suppress is a choice we make,
To defend or offend is a choice we can make.
Because choice is mine and yours to Make.

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash

To hold tight or let go is a choice we can make,
To be sad or happy is a choice we can make,
To learn or unlearn is a choice we can make,
Because choice is mine and yours to make
Remember, even not making a choice is a choice we make!

Love and Light

Bindu

The Italian Grandmama!

It was a bright sunny afternoon and I was on a walk with a friend. We didn’t want to go to a restaurant as we weren’t comfortable with all the pandemic scare around. We walked for miles and talked about everything under the sun. We finally reached a spot under the tree for final bye exchanges and to go to our respective destinations – our home.

Image courtesy – https://unsplash.com/@cristian_newman

While we were busy wrapping up I see a lady walking on the pavement and she is very old. She( I will call her Nonna from hereon) is walking straight for a moment and walks into us the next , feels dizzy and collapses on the sidewalk on her seat. All this happens in a matter of few seconds and I am in shock. I don’t know what to do and I look at my friend for help and she is equally perplexed. Nonna wasn’t hurt but she was dizzy, scared, confused and she wanted help to get back on her feet. I felt anxiety rising inside me, feeling so uncomfortable with what was happening right in front of me.

She looked into my eyes and I was feeling so helpless as she was very old and I was worried for her health and mine. I wasn’t sure what was the right thing to do, the cars stopped by to offer help, the girl from a shop close by came to offer water. Nonna kept trying to get up but just couldn’t even move and she again asked me for help to get up. She didn’t engage with anyone but me and I was so present to that and that worried me even more as I felt responsible for her. She didn’t want to be told to sit or rest and that irritated her visibly , I sensed she felt trapped by her body and us.

So many questions on my mind what if she collapses again and hurts herself , what if she is sick , what if something happens to her. Is it safe to help her etc. I then look at her face she has aged so gracefully and all the wrinkles on her face has so many stories to share, she knows what she wants and all she asked me is a little help. We lock eyes again and she tells me help! I stop ruminating, I stop listening to people around me, I don’t wait for the ambulance to reach something inside me decided to do what she wanted. I offered her my hand and she hung on to it with all that she had, she held my leg to climb up and stand. She stood up and said I want to go. I asked her to wait, the other girl offered her water, my friend found the ambulance but she walked away. Nonna said I don’t know what happened to me but she put on a straight face and started walking

The paramedics tried to talk to her she questioned who they were and responded stating I don’t need help. She refused to engage with them and she refused to soften her gaze , she was in fear but she didn’t show it for a second and walked away with all the energy she had. I stood there sighing relief, regaining my breath with a thousand thoughts swimming in my head wondering will she be ok. The paramedic confirmed he knew where she lived as he saw her just a while ago when she started her walk so he felt she will reach safely. He said we can’t help if she doesn’t want to be helped.

I don’t know who she is , I don’t know how she is but her face is in my prayers everyday. I hope Nonna is fine and safe, I hope she is living happily. I hope she doesn’t fall again in this unstable world! I hope I learn to be as strong and bold like her if I reach her age because what she did needed a different level of grit and commitment to self.

I wish you well my Italian Grandmama, Nonna..

How are you “feeling” today?

Source – Gottman institute

A question that had a template response in my head, and my standard response is I am feeling good. When a doctor asked how are you feeling? Utmost I would come up with I am feeling sick. Yes limited vocabulary syndrome( I just made that up but let’s assume that’s what it is called) is what I have struggled with all my life. I can write but I cannot talk. The past year has been an eye opener for me and I learned that good and bad are not necessarily feelings. Insecurity is not a feeling, feeling blamed is not a feeling and I was totally agape! These are mere interpretation of how we are feeling. We might be feeling sad or angry behind the facade of insecurity. The primary feeling behind anger is frustration/ fear and I never knew this, I promise!! What was this? Why didn’t I learn this all these years were the questions on my mind. Coming from a conservative family that didn’t believe in communicating feelings I didn’t know what that meant or felt. I mean that is most of Indian population I would assume. The word feeling had no meaning or purpose in my life. It was much later when I was asked how is that I can’t emote when I can write it struck me that I was stuck in a whirlpool for many years. Did you ask how didn’t I drown? Well I had drowned but didn’t even realize I did.

It took weeks to digest this fact and been months since I am trying to express how I am feeling from the bottom of my heart. Since all of us say good most times it wasn’t helpful for me to hone the skill as others never connected with me. I finally figured that it worked when I talked to a handful of them whom I either didn’t know or know too well because in these scenarios they are trying to know you 🙂 .

There is a tool that helped me with learning how to name my feelings and I wanted to share the same with you. Its called the feeling wheel because all of us deserve to express beyond the auto pilot “good”. Until we communicate the other won’t know- no rocket science but yet something we dabble with as humans, right? . It is so crucial to share what we experience inside of us which no one can magically understand( that was my expectation for years hence this line :D) . I hope this helps you. It’s ok to be behind in expressing because it’s better late than never. Incidentally today I am ok not being able to express because I am aware of it. It’s ok because I have accepted that and acknowledge it and am willing to learn more as day goes by.

Psychology says the moment we name a feeling it loses its power over us! Awareness is the first step. Don’t you agree?

Love and Light

How Covid-19 will change our lives forever

Pexels.com

Amidst the pandemic and quarantine, my mind is on a whirlwind. I stopped following the news a while ago because there were information overload and irrespective of whatever I read the best I can do is take care of myself and follow the hygiene. It’s like how they say on the airplane “wear your oxygen mask first before you help your fellow passengers” here I will take care of myself first so the others are safe. I still don’t know why is this so difficult to understand for many.

Anyways back to me and my monkey mind! I have this theory so this is what I feel happened.

Earth was tired and in pain the way we humans were handling her. Deforestation, pollution, dirt, racism, negativity, corruption, etc was in full swing and Mother Earth was in tears and decided to “pause” as that is the best way to heal. A mother loves her children but when they turn rouge she has to step back and let them face the repercussions as that is the best way to teach. Earth, the Stars, Moon, Stars, Nature, and animals had a meeting and they collectively decided to help mother earth fix all the issues. They discussed and decided that there has to be pain as most humans learn only with pain and fear as they do not understand the language of love. Earth didn’t want to wipe everyone away but chose a few who will sacrifice themselves to teach mankind a lesson on “how to live”.
There came the Virus to teach humans to pause and heal. To teach us to savor the moment and live in the present. The more arrogant anyone got the more the damage so it was inevitable that one slows down.
That is the intention of the meeting or should I say action items.

->We are all homebound and erasing distances we built with our loved ones as we didn’t have time – I think that Earth is hoping that after COVID 19 distances are bridged and we spend time with our loved ones than run away.
->Work from home – This will teach companies how to conserve resources and save- I am guessing her plan is to make corporates realize what discussion needs travel, a meeting or can it be a mail hence saving time and energy.
->We are all beautiful so we don’t need beauty services to make us beautiful. Remember the saying Beauty is an inside job. It’s good to look nice but it has to be paused as we need to accept and be ok if there is no spa or a haircut just the way our ancestors lived. Basic living comes above our need to look good- Wondering if Earth planned to ensure we spend wisely on the beautification, not as an obsession but for fun.
->We have taken everyone and everything for granted – I think she is hoping after this pandemic we will value fresh air, a walk in a grocery store, a sip of coffee at a coffee shop or having a meal at a restaurant or just walking freely inside a park or just hugging a friend.
->There is no poor or rich or caste or color or anything that can stop Mother Nature from treating us as equal- Be it Tom Hanks or someone on an unknown street in Italy everyone will face the same treatment. Everyone is Equal is the message here.
->Gratitude- With all the losses she ensures that we will remember to be thankful for small things and we will value and respect ourselves.
We will remember that life is short, we can plan what we want, we can invest in all that we want but a small virus can ruin us all. It’s so important to value the moment as we may be wiped out in no time.
->Arrogance and selfishness won’t work but love will. Love is the only way forward, love is the only way of life. If we love ourselves and spread love, love will come back to us. If we harm ourselves then we harm others as we are all social beings.
->Cleanliness is next to Godliness this is a known thing – I am guessing her Goal was to make sure we will all remain clean after the pandemic as this becomes a way of life. Washing hands is not an unknown rule, it’s normal and we don’t need to be told to wash the dirt.
->Isolation and Social distancing helps us to know ourselves more, heal our bodies and soul, helps us discover ourselves in-depth- The earth will become a better place to live after this pandemic most certainly if everyone understands the value of being in our own company.

Amidst all these people have lost jobs, their loved ones, their peace, and fear have engulfed but it is a reminder that we are together in it and no one is alone. I am in awe the way so many of them are doing their bit to spread positivity and cheer. There are so many free meditation classes, free workouts, blogs, positive messages, quotes on social media that the love is overwhelming and it is proof that we are not alone in this and there is an army behind us who cares even if they do not know us. Let’s just pause and breathe and be in the moment, let us learn to love ourselves and accept that is the only way to live, let’s wipe away Mother Earth’s tears and bring cheers to ourselves.

May we and our Mother Earth be free from pain, May we live happily until we are on this planet.

Love and Light
Bindu

What I learnt in the past few weeks Courtesy -COVD19

The last few weeks have been stressful and it only gets worse by the day. Innumerable Whatsapp forwards, each publication chasing readership numbers and news channels wanting higher TRP. Media is making their own life interesting and ensuring ours is exactly the opposite- Fearful. Every day I would wake up and google for “Corona update” and then read all the news and feel fear bubbling inside me. Finally, I decided to put an end to this pandemic in my life, remove it from my head. I haven’t looked up the news in the last 48 hours and it feels so good.

I am not being ignorant, I have accepted that there is something tiny(in size) compared to us in the world capable of wiping us off the planet. I am aware that it can harm us and I also know what it has been doing and many channels already shared the future projections. I am certain I will get an update on my timeline when there is a breakthrough in the vaccination. For now, I am enjoying my time and these are my discoveries/learnings:

  • I am more in touch with family and friends, I feel the bonding which was missing for long. I think social distancing took people away physically but brought them closer in our hearts. These are times we should be thankful for technology no?
  • It is another reminder that life is short. One second we are all in Lala land and another there is a virus which can destroy us. So life is short irrespective of the coronavirus. If we don’t love ourselves and our loved ones now then we will never. 
  • Awareness that life is all about “change” deepened for me. It’s all about ups and downs, whichever direction we go in we have to return to the other way and in reality, nothing is permanent and it shall all change. The only reality is Change. 
  • I decided to make reading positive reinforcement books/articles a part of my daily life and I am enjoying the process. My current read is Be Here Now – Baba Ramdass
  • I discovered that my word now is “pause” something I haven’t dealt with elegantly all my life as I am in a rush to finish things. Now I decided to lose the rate race and win the moment!
  • I started appreciating life and myself more. 

I am learning more and enjoying the pause even though at times this situation is unbearable, I remind myself this too shall pass. I hope and pray that this pandemic instills a positive attitude in people along with hygiene. My heart goes to all the people who have lost their loved ones, I wish that hadn’t happened. I wish strength and awareness to the rest of us to let go of fear as fear kills faster than Corona does.

I wish you well! My prayers:

May everyone be free from Suffering,
May everyone be Healthy,
May everyone be at Ease,
May everyone be Happy

Love and Light!
Bindu

Life happens, you like it or not

Life happens, you like it or not

You like it or not it is yours and for you to live,

Things will change and they are meant to, you like it or not.

Live in the present,
Soak in the space around, enjoy the very moment,
Devour the food in front of you,
Laugh with the loved one,
Listen to the person across the table,
Be involved in the meeting or classroom,
Hug someone completely, enjoy the moment like it is the last because it is!

The moment right now is Unique,
We cannot recreate it,
Every moment is a gift-wrapped for us with love from the creator,
You like it or not it is for you to unwrap.
We can choose to look away, look behind or look ahead but the moment is still here,
The moment is yours and for you to live.

It’s not anyone’s loss that you didn’t enjoy the moment but yours,
You can wallow all that you want on what was done or said or happened,
You can regret what didn’t happen or happened,
You can pine for what you don’t deserve,
You can chase for what you don’t want,
For life is still happening in the now, the moment is what we lose when we are chasing the then and later.

It’s not too late, it’s now or never,
Choose to live in the now or to look at the past,
NOW will give you learnings and a lot of opportunities,
THEN will tickle your brain and remind you of what is in the past,
NOW will give you what you didn’t get in the past,
But if you are busy looking behind, you will lose what is in the front,
For it’s not past that gives what you need but the present,
Look now, look in here, look within, look around, this is life, my dear.

Life is what happens while you chase the past or dream of the future,
Life is what you are missing because you are not in the present.
You did not choose your past but you can choose your NOW,
The choice is yours, to make the change,
Enjoy it while it lasts or look behind and complain in the end.

For life is what happens in the now my friend,
NOW is a choice, choose what you want,
Breathe in deeply and soak in the NOW,
It might be good or bad or painful but it is the truth,
You can choose to run away or hide but it won’t cease to happen,
If you live in the NOW the moment will cease soon, I promise,
Because change is life and nothing is here to stay.

There is a day after night, there is a rainbow after the rain, there is summer after winter, you like it or not,
Life is what is happening now my friend, you want it or not.

What is growth?

A question I have dabbled with in the past and continue to now, what is growth? Is it the balance I manage to accumulate in my bank account? Is it the place I live or the clothes and bags I own? Is it the car I drive? Is it the friends I made or the places I explored? I feel everything defines growth in different ways for each one of us but this morning I realised what it might be for me.

I was talking to my grandma over the phone and she asked me to keep myself warm and wear a sweater because the weather is cold. It was a simple , obvious advise which I loved hearing and smiled at myself after I ended the call. This is growth, why you ask?

In the past I would have told her I know what to do or scoffed or lectured her on how I know how to keep myself warm with all arrogance in ignorance but today I realise love is not only about saying I love you. Its about taking care of small things and sharing small things with our loved ones. I realise no one in this world will pause and tell me wear warm clothes than my loved ones so I dont want to take that for granted. I know that I am blessed to have someone tell me that I have to take care of myself. I started valuing it and I think that is growth. 

Growth is being a better person than I was yesterday or a minute ago. Growth is being aware and trying to put that in action, Growth is wanting to be a better person for self and the others.

Does this mean I will give up buying things or getting angry? Well No! I am human and I will do all of that but these small moments of gratitude and presence of mind to accept what is coming my way is what I am grateful for.

This is my realisation a few minutes ago and I wanted to share that with you all. You never know who needs to read this today and realise the value of that they already have. Sharing my learning , I hope you pause and enjoy the small things in life and I pray I continue to do the same.img_1485

Thats a pic of me as a baby, I dont know why I chose that for this blog but yes I have grown 😉

 

Love and Light 

Bindu 

I want to be a Tree!

What do I want to be if given another chance to live? I would never have answered  this question a few months ago. But now my answer is clear, A Tree! 

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I was walking in the park one evening and came across this giant tree(amongst so many more trees). She was so tall that I couldn’t see her branches beyond a point, she was old yet strong, she slanted yet didn’t budge. I stood under her , hugged her and just stayed with her. It’s so amazing that such a huge living being is so still while there is so much happening inside of her. The leaves ruffle but she is so grounded. Nothing small can deter her stance. I so want to be like her. Be stable and not let small things sway away my happiness, share all the love but don’t ask anything in return, take the bad vibes but only give out good, give the best to everyone. 

I held both my palms on the bark ,closed my eyes for a while and felt grounded . I was overwhelmed  by her energy . How can someone who is so still do so much without making noise I was bewildered. There is so much to learn from her on how to live life, right?

Hence if I have another life then I want to be a tree. I want to be like her for the rest of my life too.

Go through the seasons with no complaints but with poise ,

Give with no expectations,

Stand steady for people who want or don’t want me in their life,

Accept situations for what they are and just keep living a positive life.

Stand tall yet sway with the breeze, accept that nothing outside me is in my control . In short, Live Life to the fullest. 

I was so touched and humbled by her power that tears wouldn’t stop gushing , I was so over powered by her positive energy, I felt very blessed. I felt the need to share this with you all while I was sitting under her majestic branches, protecting me from harsh sun rays and comforting me that there is shade even in Sun. 

Nature is the best cure and there is a reason why! 

Sending positive vibes your way!

Stay Happy!

Bindu

What is letting go?

IMG_3528I hear everyone say let go, don’t hold on and I never understood the meaning of that. I couldn’t wrap my head around those words, I always fought back that I am not holding on! In the past year, I have learned to listen to myself clearer than I have all my life. That doesn’t mean I have arrived, I have a long way to go and I would like to call myself a work in progress. I have learned that my mind is a drama queen. She talks for the topic and against the topic in the same breath and it didn’t help me when I was alone. It was a huge battle I had to fight. I wondered is it just me? I was made to feel that I am an abnormal soul by a couple of my friends who listened to me. Then I started reading and researching as I wanted to understand more. Eckart Tolle, Oprah, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Panache Desai, B K Shivani , Tony Robbins etc the list is long and it was such a relief to learn that it was not just me! But what was even better to learn is that I am one of the blessed ones as I am aware of what’s happening and awareness is the beginning of everything.

It went on until I came across  Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul. This book has taken me by surprise. I am in awe of what I read, I haven’t re-read any para or lines or chapters like I have in his book. The best part? as usual, I received the book at the right time, right day and right second of my life.

He is now teaching me what is letting go. What we listen to is not us, when we can listen to something then that is not us and we become someone who is watching or noticing that is happening. The moment we step back and notice then we are not associated with the banter. When we have not associated magic happens as we do not react. Letting go is relaxing our bodies and breathing, the energy passes, the feeling goes away, the uneasiness disappears. The energy isn’t blocked in our body which then breeds all negativity.

He has an analogy for all that we carry he describes it as the thorn on our arm touching a nerve(I cringed at this thought). What are the options to deal with it really? Just 2. One is work around it and he describes this so beautifully. We can put a cast, change our environment, change everything around us continuously to accommodate the thorn and live with it and in this case end of the day, we are doing everything around what the thorn is dictating. It decides when we live and how or second simpler solution is letting go! removing the thorn and live life happily the way we want.

The irony is most of us choose option one to protect ourselves and live defending ourselves every second we breathe, wanting to control everything around so that we are safe. I felt the need to share this with you with the hope that if you are in the same boat as I am then this will help.

So this is how it all began,

It was a Saturday morning and I was very unwell. I woke up to comment against my name and something triggered me(my thorn- my fear). I reacted, I defended, cried foul, I fought, I ended up making the person who commented small. I kept thinking about what happened, why did I do what I did. I did not have answers but I knew that something wasn’t right. Now I know it was my way of protecting myself against all the conditioning I have gone through in my life, the limiting beliefs I have built. A painful realization that I have lived like this for so long. The best learning was that fear is a part of being human but its good to be present to it and not fight it. It’s ok to be wrong. It is never about the person who said anything its the thorn inside me which is hurting me. So it has always been about the thorn inside me.

The next time if someone is angry I hope and pray to God to give me the ability to pause and understand what is their primary emotion because anger is the secondary one and unfortunately we see just that emotion as it is on our face and loud. No one does anything to hurt us deliberately but they are fighting a war inside themselves. The primary emotion could be shame , fear, uncertainty, insecurity. Mine was shame. Something I have become aware of just now and hoping it stays with me.

Learning is an ongoing process so is self-care, the day we stop we become rusty and stink and will spiral without our own knowledge.

I wish you become aware of the demons you are fighting and let go of them and Breathe!

PS: Sorry to the person who I hurt and others who I might have hurt several times in the past, I wasn’t aware of anything. I did the best I could then.