Author: bindugopinath

Hello There , I started writing on Facebook out of sheer passion , a passion that was harboured within me from the time I learnt to write . I started with poems which rhymes :) , i made a journal and hid it with me over years until I reached my teens to only destroy them for I felt they were silly .. I still penned down all my dark secrets, my pain , my happiness from the terrace of my home . I loved to scribble despite the fact that I had the worst handwriting on this planet(in my opinion).. I will always say thank you for technology else how will I have communicated to the world what I wanted to? I finally created a hashtag #randomthoughts and started writing , later changed it to #mystory and realised people started liking them and began requesting me to write more .. So here I am only because of your love ,creating a blog to pen my thoughts .. I have been told by the super power that it is my purpose to keep others happy and that I have to do my bit to bring change and good. It is my personal responsibility and I hope I help one soul if not all and that will be happiness for me. Here on this blog you will find stories that pop up in my little brain , some reviews of food as I believe food is us as we are made of food and few random thoughts :) , that word doesn't go away from me however I try . While I am not writing or procrastinating to write I love to meditate, Enjoy learning about our body, cooking ,fitness and reading. I am a hopeless dreamer , love to eat and travel , believe music is life and love to laugh(giggle is appropriate) ..

Non Judgement – A way of life

Judging :

I have been searching the meaning(not the dictionary one) for this word from long now . I got different answers but was never satisfied , i felt that was not it . My soul was not satiated . It is so easy to say “dont judge” but explain that ? we are told “just be with it”, so easy aint it? . So my fued with the word was on and finally here I am with an answer 🙂 . Feeling happy and wanted to share the happiness with all of you so wanted to blog this right away .

Judgement is adding or subtracting facts to something we see . Being non judgemental is just seeing the event or person undistorted , no adding past to it , no adding masala to it but seeing the event or person for that moment/instant.

let me try to explain this better may be via an example . When a spouse 😉 (best example no?) says he/she did not like a particular thing you did , listening to that feedback as it is will make sure we are being non judgemental and voila! we can remain calm and hence happy . What we typically do is (this its very normal by the way ) we listen to what he/she said and add all the past experiences /stories he /she said and make that into something else and respond . The other person wouldn’t be prepared and unassuming that you have derived a different meaning out of something simple he/she said . And this can lead to a BIG issue and this is an ongoing issue with most people .

How about listening to that they said and responding to what was just said by not adding any past story, fact , assumptions and seeing the event for what it is.

Life its so simple yes so complicated . Imagine what if we are allowed to record our thoughts and play to others ? we wouldn’t have foes forget friends 😀 . I am amused and amazed with another learning and gratitude towards the universe. This is very simple yet difficult , how can we ensure we see the event or person for that moment or that incident? Did you just ask that? Well! by being aware and by living in the present moment . Living in the present moment is by default being non judgemental in my opinion. Lets live . Lets love . Lets stay happy

Negativity is a spammer

A thought occurred to me , what if we consider negativity as a caller ? So many of us make sure we check unknown numbers on true caller before we respond or most times we don’t pick calls from unknown numbers . what if we train our mind to store negativity as a unknown spammer and choose not to pick it ? I wonder what will happen? When I was in Vipassana a few years ago I remember what the teacher told me . She mentioned that Buddha says when someone gifts you with negativity , anger , unhappiness or any not useful emotions tell them thank you, I don’t need them so I am not accepting it. Its basically not taking anything personally . I know it aint easy but it isn’t impossible either . Was wondering how our lives will change if each one of us will follow that one simple advise .

My mind as usual went into the thought mode. For example , in a peak traffic an annoying person does all that he/she can to block us but instead of loosing peace of mind and loosing perspective for the day what if we could say I am not allowing you to spoil the peace in my head as I reserve my energy for myself and do what we can do best – say breathing(consciously) ,or listening to music .

Or at a restaurant or office or at home , most times we end up being a part of anothers baggage and they easily pass the buck to us and we unconsciously end up carrying it with us . If its a bad beginning to a morning ,it can cause ripples and will ensure everything in the day is ruined , like the dominoes effect . So what if we chose to say, thank you but I dont need your baggage as I choose to spend my time on myself today , on my family today or on a loved one today . Basically what if we agree not to take anything personally ?

Life from above there :-)

I love flying , even if they are long hauls , even if I get cramps in my legs , even if that makes me want to jump from the plane .. sighhhhh.. I still love flying . It gives wings to me , it makes me feel like I am in the world I dream of always , amongst clouds in the lala land . I love weaving stories from clouds , giving them shape and names in my mind 🙂 . I like the fact that I am floating midair out of no where which wouldn’t happen otherwise . There is another reason why i love to fly , “perspectives” . It gives me perspectives . The houses, buildings , people , things that look so big and larger than life to me becomes like ants and eventually vanish into thin air . It makes me realise its all about how we see things and nothing beyond that . yes! even the plane looks like a toy when we look at it from the ground . Since we live down here we don’t see things the way we would from 30000 feet and above ..

Isn’t it an amazing realisation that what we see can eventually vanish as we go up? My monkey mind went a step ahead and gave me another perspective of this perspective(ok ok! I know :)) Allow me to explain the “perspective’ism “(no! there is no word like that in the dictionary so I created one , Ahem!) since we humans inflate our problems into bigger ones and believe we have the biggest of problems on this planet and pray to God everyday to help ( I am always told God lives above us ), so can GOD, even hear us as they are up high ? Don’t we become invisible to them, how will they even see us lest hear us?

Now comes the point , Is that why we are told our lives are in our hands ? we are given life to take care of it and thats the best God can do? Waiting and doing nothing will never help us as we have to act ? This is how I look at it . Our life is in our hands until we are alive , what do you say ? 🙂

Over The Moon

I loved the name to begin with as thats where i live most times 😀 . Every time I asked any of my friends in hyderabad “where will I get to see the happening Hyderabad crowd” , they would always chorus “OTM in Jubilee hills but go after 1 am ” and thats how I ended up going to OTM the first time , its unfortunate that I haven’t been there at the time as advised by my friends as I prefer sleeping while the “happening” parties 😉 .

A new OTM opened at Gachibowli near the flyover and I happened to visit this place as its closer to where I stay .

Firstly its a nice location and beautiful ambience . They have an outside seating area and of course seats inside and the day I first visited there was a two piece english band performing too. This is a brewery and my friends swear by the wheat beer and me being the teetotaller tried most mocktails while I always end up liking ginger ale wherever I go , so this part I should ideally skip . My family loved the mocktails so its an aye anyways .

We tried their wasabi prawns and they were plated beautifully and tasted equally good . Then came the chicken dim-sums which vanished as they came errr we were hungry too . They have a truck placed outside the seating area which makes truck foods if you know what I mean , so i ordered the pav with boiled egg masala . It was overtly spicy(not chilly) , so we chose to share the feedback with the owner (sanjay) who very graciously accepted the feedback and also brought us a modified version which was surprising for us as it was unexpected . It then struck me why this place goes full on all days . Location can be good but service along with food/beverage is the long term player isn’t it ? I got nostalgic about my days in Kolkatta and ordered for a maccher Jhol which didn’t meet my expectations . It was a modified version and made with salmon so if you are a Bengali and a foodie you know what happens when you change the fish in the first place . Finally we ate the home made marble biscuit cake which was ok. i saw a deconstructed chocolate on their dessert menu which wasn’t available the last time I visited so look forward to trying it the next time I visit . If you managed to devourer it before me , do share your feedback .

This watering hole is here to stay , if you are around i strongly recommend you to go. Its an AYE from me .

Website : OTM

Address :Plot No. B 2, Quiet Lands,, Gachibowli, Serlingampally, Hyderabad, Telangana 500049

Phone : 077310 76667

The Airport

A place which reminds us of travel . Hustle bustle .. people talking business .. security lines .. flights .. tension of missing the flight .. destinations .. noise and if international terminal it’s duty free shops 🙂

I have been oblivious to something beyond these recently “The Travellers” .

Beyond all that I mentioned it is also a place which brings some people together and separates others . The last few times I have travelled I have seen the most warm hugs , passionate kisses and painful tears at this same place – “the airport” . Could it be a place where real emotions peak ? The hurt of someone going faraway , the joy of a dear one coming back . A place where reality strikes ? A place to confess and a place to celebrate. A place that will port us to reality or is it a gateway to new possibilities ? It makes me think, it makes me smile , it sometimes brings a tear ..

For me it is also a place that gives me wings , makes me want to live more and love more , snaps me back to reality( the moment )and of course makes me dream….

Pic courtesy : Google

The Home Makers!

As a kid I never valued what my grandmother or mother ever cooked . It was mundane and boring I whined. I always thought how difficult is it to cook a new dish everyday ? Why do they plan and discuss ? What’s the big deal ? I always found it silly though this happened for months and years . Unconsciously I never respected what they did . From cleaning to mopping to cooking to washing . I felt that was easier than studying or working . I thought it was the easiest to be a house wife( now the polished word is home maker) . Especially later when my friends who had kids always mentioned they don’t have time to breathe , I never understood but nodded . I never connected with that, I did try to explain them how they could manage time but they never understood me neither did I understand them . It went on like this until I decided to take a break from work and do nothing for a while. I have been working from the time I joined college so I felt I deserved the break . And then realisation struck . What to cook for lunch ? How about dinner ? And breakfast was a question I juggled with . When I had hired a cook , I told him decision is yours and then when he wasn’t around again it’s a vicious cycle for days and then years . Then it dawned upon me how much value our parents/my friends added to their families . I realised how tiring and stressful their life is compared to a corporate life where after all that one does there might be an appreciation , an appraisal and there “will “be a salary 🙂 . And being a home maker is a thankless job as we take them for granted , day in and day out .

Today when I eat what my momies(granny +mom) cook , I relish every morsel . After moving out of home I realized the value of everything they did . I admire all the home makers even more than anyone who works for a living in a corporate this day.

To all the moms – I respect you for what you do!

For all the single dads who handle their kids and home – I take a bow!

Can’t stop admiring you all . Gratitude for being a part of my life and teaching me the value of life..

what will people think??

I am one among the people and even I am surrounded by people but yet that statement is something I am just not fond of . We are a “society being” , I agree . We are answerable to our near and dear ones I know .. Yet! what they think is not in our control no ? If they are here to judge , then will our clarifying ever matter to them at all? People have to say something and they will . Even if they don’t loudly , their subconscious mind will prompt not so nice things which leaves an imprint on them without their knowledge , now thats a BIG game . How can we decide what others think? How can we change what others think? How do we know how others think? How are we responsible for how others think?

Now lets assume we have control of how others think through our actions , then considering there are 7 bn unique beings alive on this planet how do we know that most think alike , oh yeah! our circle is not 7 bn I know ok lets say 20 people how do we know what all the 20 will think , is it them thinking or is it we thinking on their behalf? isn’t it our negative thoughts that run on their behalf most times ? I have noticed 90% of the time all that I think is futile , no one cares . . At any given point of time there will be someone who doesn’t like something most likes , wait there will be an aesthist in that 20 so he doesn’t necessarily like GOD(the creator) himself 🙂 so then how can we ensure all of them are liking what we say or do? then will we have time to live our lives ? Or will we have enough time to ensure we are keeping everyone happy. How do we necessarily know everyone around us is happy ? And isn’t our purpose to keep ourselves happy? Will we ever be content and happy , if we are in this race of making others happy . Thinking for others , living for others . Will there be a day we wake up and realize that we lived our lives pleasing others to realise there is no life left to live ? people who matters will understand, if they don’t then they never mattered no? people and society matters but they can’t be the only thing that matters there is “we” beyond that .. WE , the life ..

We are never content with what we have – we are humans..

Ever wondered how is that we have lived for the years we have ? Were we content ? Were we happy every single day? Wait did we live every day at all? I got thinking while walking this evening . What makes us happy? What makes us content actually? I would say nothing because for us humans happiness is a moving target . I will be happy when I achieve that , or when I buy that or when I reach there. One day we manage to reach our goal and completely forget this is what we have been toiling for and instead of giving gratitude or being content what do we do? Not even acknowledge what just happened but look ahead for another target , another thing to buy or own.

We are greedy , hence we are humans I realise. We are not like animals that hunt when it needs food but we accumulate everything for a rainy day , we think of the future we haven’t seen or the future which is non existent . I would have understood all of this if we all came with an expiry date so that we can plan in advance but unfortunate we don’t . So many go away before they reach the time they should enjoy , so many realise it too late that they never lived life , so many regret of having lived a mechanical life . There is a story I read in which a rich man on his death bed negotiating with death for a few hours to enjoy all that he earned , trading all the wealth he accumulated , but the money couldn’t even buy him a second forget days so where are we heading anyways ?

Somethings I have been aware of and have been practicing and felt I should share .

Be aware of everything that we are doing and experiencing . Even if it is anger , be aware that you are angry and allow the experience to Seep in

Be grateful for all that happens everyday . Be it thanking the watchman who opens the gate for you or the office boy who gives chai all that only happens because we are alive and blessed

Live for the day . Morning is the birth and evening the death , isn’t there a reason they say life is uncertain . How do you even know that there is a Tomorrow in our life ?

Keep ourselves healthy – work out and meditate . Life lived healthily is a life lived fully

Last but not the least eat healthy . Our body is a temple and we should be very careful of what we feed it . We don’t enter a spiritual place wearing dirty clothes or smoking or doing anything nasty then why not treat our bodies the same way and respect .

I also err but the awareness to live life and the fact that life is short keeps me going . I wanted to share this thought , live happy because it is our purpose to live happily .

Detachment is the best attachment – part 1 and 2

I am a very emotional soul, most things that happens around me affects me. Be it the news paper, tv or anyone in trouble . Need I then say about my loved ones? I have been thinking of how to be detached yet attached ? how not to react or get affected for that matter. How to lets say “just be” .

I understand we humans have a brain which is faster than a super computer and is capable of processing a zillion thoughts in a day or should I say an hour? Attached to the zillion thoughts are a zillion emotions ! we are a wreck already aren’t we ? The realisation that I am allowing those zillion emotions of someone who matters to me to affect me was a mind boggling realisation . Now occurs a question if the emotions of another person or their actions is affecting me who has the control on my emotions really ? is it me or them? i meant to ask who has my remote control ? The awareness that I am a prisoner of others thoughts is so scary and so is the fact that my life could become a roller coaster ride all day .. In this quest I found a lot of answers after reading , after deliberation and I wanted to share my learning with you all 🙂

I realised that others emotions affects me because of the “ME” mode I live in. Lets call it a “ME ” filter considering that this is the era of filters . Let me not digress , so we end up looking at all that is happening around us through the “Me” filter . We think we are the centre of the universe and all that happens is for us , aiming at us because end of day its all about “ME”.

Let me try explaining this further . Hmm lets say a friend is having a bad day at work and comes to meet me in a foul mood. And I ask her, so how was your day and she will answer me rudely. Now, what happened here ? She answered me from her space of frustration and thats all . But how did I decipher it? She is so rude to me . I waited for this meeting the whole day , I planned , I took an initiative , I always care and this behaviour is unacceptable . She is so insensitive and doesn’t respect me , I dont deserve such a behaviour. I am now offended , sounds familiar isnt it? Imagine that’s a spouse or a partner now 🙂 the impact is even deeper. Because there is love in the relationship .

Now did she mean to be rude to me ? Was that an intent? Well honestly the answer is no! It was their response from their experience with no intent of hurting us. But wait! isnt it about the ME filter ? What did I finally become here? A victim could we say ? It was not their direct reaction to us right? Similarly if someone else gets angry or is rude its more about them and not us. Its about their inability to cope up, their weakness, their expectations and their struggle but definitely not “Me”

Finally who is the culprit here ? The ME filter! We tend to take or have conditioned ourselves to take others words and actions as their personal judgement of us . So their unhappiness is ours , their anger is ours, their happiness is ours so who is controlling life here ..I finally realised the need to live my life my way and not anyone’s way and figured out being aware Is the first step .

Perspectives is the only way to tackle the “ME” filter. Let me explain this further may be with an example.

My partner was very rude today .

“Me” filter : He is so rude. I love him so much . He doesn’t care. There is no point doing anything for him. Its a waste . I don’t deserve this treatment ..

“Partner Filter “ : He is rude today because he is having a bad day. It has nothing to do with me. It is his way of venting out and getting normal. I should just let him be. At this moment his state of mind is most important for him.

“Our Filter” : He is rude because he is having a bad day. It has nothing to do with me. I shouldn’t take it personally. I should may be console him and make sure he feels better or if he likes to be left alone I will give him space . But I will ensure that I share with him how I felt and find out better ways of coping up and being respectful of each other when he is ok.

“Our Filter” covers all involved both of us in this case and is always the best way compared to the “Me filter” . Viewing the instance or a situation from this filter will sort out most issues .

Practise makes a man perfect so its important to start using the “our filter” every time we realise someones words or action is affecting us . Its ok to forget the filters but being aware and trying to use it later will help making this a way of thinking for us. Once we calm down this works even better . The more we are aware, the more we practise ,the more we learn. The more we detach, the more we are happy . So lets embark on this journey of filters, what say?

Bindu Gopinath

Food – Life – Travel