Negativity is a spammer

A thought occurred to me , what if we consider negativity as a caller ? So many of us make sure we check unknown numbers on true caller before we respond or most times we don’t pick calls from unknown numbers . what if we train our mind to store negativity as a unknown spammer and choose not to pick it ? I wonder what will happen? When I was in Vipassana a few years ago I remember what the teacher told me . She mentioned that Buddha says when someone gifts you with negativity , anger , unhappiness or any not useful emotions tell them thank you, I don’t need them so I am not accepting it. Its basically not taking anything personally . I know it aint easy but it isn’t impossible either . Was wondering how our lives will change if each one of us will follow that one simple advise .

My mind as usual went into the thought mode. For example , in a peak traffic an annoying person does all that he/she can to block us but instead of loosing peace of mind and loosing perspective for the day what if we could say I am not allowing you to spoil the peace in my head as I reserve my energy for myself and do what we can do best – say breathing(consciously) ,or listening to music .

Or at a restaurant or office or at home , most times we end up being a part of anothers baggage and they easily pass the buck to us and we unconsciously end up carrying it with us . If its a bad beginning to a morning ,it can cause ripples and will ensure everything in the day is ruined , like the dominoes effect . So what if we chose to say, thank you but I dont need your baggage as I choose to spend my time on myself today , on my family today or on a loved one today . Basically what if we agree not to take anything personally ?

Life from above there :-)

I love flying , even if they are long hauls , even if I get cramps in my legs , even if that makes me want to jump from the plane .. sighhhhh.. I still love flying . It gives wings to me , it makes me feel like I am in the world I dream of always , amongst clouds in the lala land . I love weaving stories from clouds , giving them shape and names in my mind 🙂 . I like the fact that I am floating midair out of no where which wouldn’t happen otherwise . There is another reason why i love to fly , “perspectives” . It gives me perspectives . The houses, buildings , people , things that look so big and larger than life to me becomes like ants and eventually vanish into thin air . It makes me realise its all about how we see things and nothing beyond that . yes! even the plane looks like a toy when we look at it from the ground . Since we live down here we don’t see things the way we would from 30000 feet and above ..

Isn’t it an amazing realisation that what we see can eventually vanish as we go up? My monkey mind went a step ahead and gave me another perspective of this perspective(ok ok! I know :)) Allow me to explain the “perspective’ism “(no! there is no word like that in the dictionary so I created one , Ahem!) since we humans inflate our problems into bigger ones and believe we have the biggest of problems on this planet and pray to God everyday to help ( I am always told God lives above us ), so can GOD, even hear us as they are up high ? Don’t we become invisible to them, how will they even see us lest hear us?

Now comes the point , Is that why we are told our lives are in our hands ? we are given life to take care of it and thats the best God can do? Waiting and doing nothing will never help us as we have to act ? This is how I look at it . Our life is in our hands until we are alive , what do you say ? 🙂

Over The Moon

I loved the name to begin with as thats where i live most times 😀 . Every time I asked any of my friends in hyderabad “where will I get to see the happening Hyderabad crowd” , they would always chorus “OTM in Jubilee hills but go after 1 am ” and thats how I ended up going to OTM the first time , its unfortunate that I haven’t been there at the time as advised by my friends as I prefer sleeping while the “happening” parties 😉 .

A new OTM opened at Gachibowli near the flyover and I happened to visit this place as its closer to where I stay .

Firstly its a nice location and beautiful ambience . They have an outside seating area and of course seats inside and the day I first visited there was a two piece english band performing too. This is a brewery and my friends swear by the wheat beer and me being the teetotaller tried most mocktails while I always end up liking ginger ale wherever I go , so this part I should ideally skip . My family loved the mocktails so its an aye anyways .

We tried their wasabi prawns and they were plated beautifully and tasted equally good . Then came the chicken dim-sums which vanished as they came errr we were hungry too . They have a truck placed outside the seating area which makes truck foods if you know what I mean , so i ordered the pav with boiled egg masala . It was overtly spicy(not chilly) , so we chose to share the feedback with the owner (sanjay) who very graciously accepted the feedback and also brought us a modified version which was surprising for us as it was unexpected . It then struck me why this place goes full on all days . Location can be good but service along with food/beverage is the long term player isn’t it ? I got nostalgic about my days in Kolkatta and ordered for a maccher Jhol which didn’t meet my expectations . It was a modified version and made with salmon so if you are a Bengali and a foodie you know what happens when you change the fish in the first place . Finally we ate the home made marble biscuit cake which was ok. i saw a deconstructed chocolate on their dessert menu which wasn’t available the last time I visited so look forward to trying it the next time I visit . If you managed to devourer it before me , do share your feedback .

This watering hole is here to stay , if you are around i strongly recommend you to go. Its an AYE from me .

Website : OTM

Address :Plot No. B 2, Quiet Lands,, Gachibowli, Serlingampally, Hyderabad, Telangana 500049

Phone : 077310 76667

The Airport

A place which reminds us of travel . Hustle bustle .. people talking business .. security lines .. flights .. tension of missing the flight .. destinations .. noise and if international terminal it’s duty free shops 🙂

I have been oblivious to something beyond these recently “The Travellers” .

Beyond all that I mentioned it is also a place which brings some people together and separates others . The last few times I have travelled I have seen the most warm hugs , passionate kisses and painful tears at this same place – “the airport” . Could it be a place where real emotions peak ? The hurt of someone going faraway , the joy of a dear one coming back . A place where reality strikes ? A place to confess and a place to celebrate. A place that will port us to reality or is it a gateway to new possibilities ? It makes me think, it makes me smile , it sometimes brings a tear ..

For me it is also a place that gives me wings , makes me want to live more and love more , snaps me back to reality( the moment )and of course makes me dream….

Pic courtesy : Google

The Home Makers!

As a kid I never valued what my grandmother or mother ever cooked . It was mundane and boring I whined. I always thought how difficult is it to cook a new dish everyday ? Why do they plan and discuss ? What’s the big deal ? I always found it silly though this happened for months and years . Unconsciously I never respected what they did . From cleaning to mopping to cooking to washing . I felt that was easier than studying or working . I thought it was the easiest to be a house wife( now the polished word is home maker) . Especially later when my friends who had kids always mentioned they don’t have time to breathe , I never understood but nodded . I never connected with that, I did try to explain them how they could manage time but they never understood me neither did I understand them . It went on like this until I decided to take a break from work and do nothing for a while. I have been working from the time I joined college so I felt I deserved the break . And then realisation struck . What to cook for lunch ? How about dinner ? And breakfast was a question I juggled with . When I had hired a cook , I told him decision is yours and then when he wasn’t around again it’s a vicious cycle for days and then years . Then it dawned upon me how much value our parents/my friends added to their families . I realised how tiring and stressful their life is compared to a corporate life where after all that one does there might be an appreciation , an appraisal and there “will “be a salary 🙂 . And being a home maker is a thankless job as we take them for granted , day in and day out .

Today when I eat what my momies(granny +mom) cook , I relish every morsel . After moving out of home I realized the value of everything they did . I admire all the home makers even more than anyone who works for a living in a corporate this day.

To all the moms – I respect you for what you do!

For all the single dads who handle their kids and home – I take a bow!

Can’t stop admiring you all . Gratitude for being a part of my life and teaching me the value of life..

Detachment is the best attachment – part 1 and 2

I am a very emotional soul, most things that happens around me affects me. Be it the news paper, tv or anyone in trouble . Need I then say about my loved ones? I have been thinking of how to be detached yet attached ? how not to react or get affected for that matter. How to lets say “just be” .

I understand we humans have a brain which is faster than a super computer and is capable of processing a zillion thoughts in a day or should I say an hour? Attached to the zillion thoughts are a zillion emotions ! we are a wreck already aren’t we ? The realisation that I am allowing those zillion emotions of someone who matters to me to affect me was a mind boggling realisation . Now occurs a question if the emotions of another person or their actions is affecting me who has the control on my emotions really ? is it me or them? i meant to ask who has my remote control ? The awareness that I am a prisoner of others thoughts is so scary and so is the fact that my life could become a roller coaster ride all day .. In this quest I found a lot of answers after reading , after deliberation and I wanted to share my learning with you all 🙂

I realised that others emotions affects me because of the “ME” mode I live in. Lets call it a “ME ” filter considering that this is the era of filters . Let me not digress , so we end up looking at all that is happening around us through the “Me” filter . We think we are the centre of the universe and all that happens is for us , aiming at us because end of day its all about “ME”.

Let me try explaining this further . Hmm lets say a friend is having a bad day at work and comes to meet me in a foul mood. And I ask her, so how was your day and she will answer me rudely. Now, what happened here ? She answered me from her space of frustration and thats all . But how did I decipher it? She is so rude to me . I waited for this meeting the whole day , I planned , I took an initiative , I always care and this behaviour is unacceptable . She is so insensitive and doesn’t respect me , I dont deserve such a behaviour. I am now offended , sounds familiar isnt it? Imagine that’s a spouse or a partner now 🙂 the impact is even deeper. Because there is love in the relationship .

Now did she mean to be rude to me ? Was that an intent? Well honestly the answer is no! It was their response from their experience with no intent of hurting us. But wait! isnt it about the ME filter ? What did I finally become here? A victim could we say ? It was not their direct reaction to us right? Similarly if someone else gets angry or is rude its more about them and not us. Its about their inability to cope up, their weakness, their expectations and their struggle but definitely not “Me”

Finally who is the culprit here ? The ME filter! We tend to take or have conditioned ourselves to take others words and actions as their personal judgement of us . So their unhappiness is ours , their anger is ours, their happiness is ours so who is controlling life here ..I finally realised the need to live my life my way and not anyone’s way and figured out being aware Is the first step .

Perspectives is the only way to tackle the “ME” filter. Let me explain this further may be with an example.

My partner was very rude today .

“Me” filter : He is so rude. I love him so much . He doesn’t care. There is no point doing anything for him. Its a waste . I don’t deserve this treatment ..

“Partner Filter “ : He is rude today because he is having a bad day. It has nothing to do with me. It is his way of venting out and getting normal. I should just let him be. At this moment his state of mind is most important for him.

“Our Filter” : He is rude because he is having a bad day. It has nothing to do with me. I shouldn’t take it personally. I should may be console him and make sure he feels better or if he likes to be left alone I will give him space . But I will ensure that I share with him how I felt and find out better ways of coping up and being respectful of each other when he is ok.

“Our Filter” covers all involved both of us in this case and is always the best way compared to the “Me filter” . Viewing the instance or a situation from this filter will sort out most issues .

Practise makes a man perfect so its important to start using the “our filter” every time we realise someones words or action is affecting us . Its ok to forget the filters but being aware and trying to use it later will help making this a way of thinking for us. Once we calm down this works even better . The more we are aware, the more we practise ,the more we learn. The more we detach, the more we are happy . So lets embark on this journey of filters, what say?

We are mortal …

We are mortal. I keep reminding myself this so that I don’t waste time . Yesterday , on a lazy Sunday afternoon I happened to watch a movie in which a man gives up everything and toils for his family and then dies without living a life. No one recognised his efforts , he never told them what he went through , he suffered but never let anyone know , he was tired but didn’t let his family get a whiff of it. He sacrificed his life but his family never realised or acknowledged what he did for them . He died in his sleep and for everyone around it was a death and they lit the pyre as per custom and turned him into ashes . It made me think . My mind went whirling into some other space , I was thinking for whom do we all do things we do? Even if we do things do the ones for whom we do know about it? Is it not important to tell them that? Don’t they deserve to know it ? Why don’t we live life for ourselves ? Why do we exactly plan life for tomorrow and fail to see what we have now . Who assured us there is a tomorrow ? Is it over confidence or do we as humans forget that we are mortal . Will we respect people and value every minute if we realise the truth that life is not predictable , we don’t have a prefixed deadline , we don’t have an expiry date . We can be gone the next second . Yet we harbour so much hatred , ego and many more negative traits. Yet we don’t express our love for our loved ones , we keep it for another day . We fight with our siblings / partner / kids and go to sleep with the pain or by giving them pain without realising that there might not be a tomorrow either for them or us .

I started thinking very deeply , I had experienced a meditation a few months ago and had realised the importance of life yet in the daily cycle called life it was all forgotten . I realised life is not tomorrow but “now” . I realise postponing things is the most grave risk we take . We all believe we don’t take risk and thats an irony , because we take risk every second by postponing our life events 🙂 . I wish this awareness stays with me that I am mortal and we all have to leave this planet one day . With this thought my mind snapped back to “now “, the reality . I wish you “now” , the present(see why they call it present? its a gift indeed) . I wish you live life . I wish you awareness .

Social Media or Anti Social Media , My new year resolution.

Technology/digital / social media I always believed will help in bringing people together . I felt it’s about being social and not anti social . It’s about virtually meeting people across the globe and learning more . However yesterday I had this realisation that I was wrong!

Pic courtesy : Google

Technology is taking away from us the ability to be “human” . It s making us anti social . We are forgetting that taking action doesn’t mean a post or like or retweets. I have been unwell and been home yesterday and this thought dawned upon me (idle mind :)). When I go on whatsapp first thing unconsciously I see is what time was the other person online last , but why did I have to know that or even look at that? Is it my intent to know more or is it that we are insecure or is it plain curiosity? I don’t understand why we are blinded by these apps and platforms . Isn’t addiction the right word? So many thoughts occurred to me like,

Why we sit across a table with friends and stare at our phones . Why we can’t live without touching our phones for even an hour. What if we spent the phone time on people who is a part of our life . What if we hugged them more than fidgeting on the phone .

What if we said I love you in person than updating a status and professing love .

What if we expressed our gratitude in person , folding hands . How about stop envying the “social happy posts” we see and get real?

So i decided to take action and make this a resolution for this year , I will call people and wish them on their birthdays or special days , I already started this from November last year partially . I mean why not? I am human and I can speak and may be bray(read sing) once in a while .

I have decided to stay off phone completely even when am at traffic signals , I give 50% of my time to day dream and 50% to phone when am stalled at a signal , now 100% off phone 😉

I plan to keep my phone in my bag while am at lunch or dinner with family or friends as the world can wait while I eat my meal .

I have decided not to humiliate the person sitting across the table with me having a conversation by staring at the gadget which can’t emote .

I have decided not to take my phone out of my bag while I am In a meeting room .

I have decided to give my 100% to whatever I do . My time is precious so is the person’s who decided to spend it with me , time to get human and respect each other .. oh! Don’t you worry there are a zillion people on social media and they can survive with us .

PS: If there is an emergency needless to say we have to use our phones and that wont change , if I am found violating my above resolution I request you to bring it to my notice .

Love

Love, an emotion that causes pleasure and pain to a deeper level , I always wondered what is it .. Love surely is confused with attachment at most times , so what is Love ?

Is love the absence of hatred or is it all about balancing it out ,

Is love all about receiving or is it just about giving ,

Is love the first few months of courting or is it something that lasts a life time ,

Is love meant to fade or is it meant to remain ,

Does love end or is love living happily ever after ,

Is love being understanding or is love what we don’t understand ,

Is love what the mind says or is it what the heart feels ,

Is love all about hiding or is it about sharing ,

Is love only him and her or is it about everyone ,

Is love all about expectations or is it acceptance .

Bindu Gopinath

Food – Life – Travel

Category: Life