Tag: learnings

Non Judgement – A way of life

Judging :
I have been searching the meaning(not the dictionary one) for this word from long now . I got different answers but was never satisfied , i felt that was not it . My soul was not satiated . It is so easy to say “dont judge” but explain that ? we are told “just be with it”, so easy aint it? . So my fued with the word was on and finally here I am with an answer 🙂 . Feeling happy and wanted to share the happiness with all of you so wanted to blog this right away .
Judgement is adding or subtracting facts to something we see . Being non judgemental is just seeing the event or person undistorted , no adding past to it , no adding masala to it but seeing the event or person for that moment/instant.
let me try to explain this better may be via an example . When a spouse 😉 (best example no?) says he/she did not like a particular thing you did , listening to that feedback as it is will make sure we are being non judgemental and voila! we can remain calm and hence happy . What we typically do is (this its very normal by the way ) we listen to what he/she said and add all the past experiences /stories he /she said and make that into something else and respond . The other person wouldn’t be prepared and unassuming that you have derived a different meaning out of something  simple he/she said . And this can lead to a BIG issue and this is an ongoing issue with most people .
How about listening to that they said and responding to what was just said by not adding any past story, fact , assumptions and seeing the event for what it is.
Life its so simple yes so complicated . Imagine what if we are allowed to record our thoughts and play to others ? we wouldn’t have foes forget friends 😀 . I am amused and amazed with another learning and gratitude towards the universe. This is very simple yet difficult , how can we ensure we see the event or person for that moment or that incident? Did you just ask that? Well!  by being aware and by living in the present moment . Living in the present moment is by default being non judgemental in my opinion.  Lets live . Lets love . Lets stay happy

#masseuse

I like spa’s , a way to detangle my tired soul. After a hectic event schedule I decided to pamper myself and what better way than a good massage . So I fixed an appointment with the goldmine spa (oh yes! they are expensive hence I named them that :)) I went there promptly a little before time but my masseuse hadn’t reached , I waited patiently and she arrived 15 minutes later than the stipulated time all huffing and puffing cursing the Bangalore traffic .

She was a teeny girl dressed in her uniform .I asked for deep tissue , she led me to the designated room and started to work her magic , wait! did I say magic ? She tore me apart  , I felt like I was in a wrestling ring or was it like a piece of cloth that was washed on a stone .. I pleaded her to let go of me and she said madam if you want to relax then dont ask for me , you will relax once you are home now allow me to do my work . I cursed my stars and decided to talk to her instead of squeaking so that my attention is digressed from the ordeal 🙂

She began .. She had so many stories , it was then I realised I had no problems 🙂 .. I assumed my life is a roller coaster ride , I felt I had problems  until I met her .. I realised all our problems are big for us but what she had to reveal was beyond something I can fathom . She dealt with strangers day in and out unlike us for starters . Random men come for massages and she has to deal with them . She said once there was an Arab who came in and while she massaged him he opened his phone and started watching porn . She requested him to stop it but he wouldn’t budge .

Another time there was this guy who was newly married and decided to discuss his penis size with her and shared story about how his wife was unable to satisfy him. She told me how she squirmed as he made her very uncomfortable that tears rolled down as he asked her about sexual preference and her sex life .

And this one time a married woman asked her for a happy ending , she explained to me how she froze and decided to walk out ..and the ultimate was an agent who refers clients to the spa following her and the Arab client to the room and offering her 10 k for a “special massage”. She threatened him of dire consequences and shooes him away . Many many more stories that has made her strong as a woman . She has the right to walk away from a client who demands beyond her role and that is a boon for her . She says people call her a “rowdy” because she voices her concern loud and clear .

My mind started chattering to me , she has so many things to face and fight each day . Every client is a surprise and she braves it with a smile on her face and hence there is so much to learn from this woman. So many times in life we inflate the smallest of problems and create a hue and cry , she has no option but live with it so she finds the positive and lives with it. Any place she goes she will face the same according to her as the profession she chose is a one like that . She has a choice to leave or live and she chose the latter .We can see the negative or a positive in a problem , it can put us down or make us strong and the choice is entirely ours ..

She finished her work on me , I thanked her and left .. I learnt a lot beyond physical relaxation .. I thanked her for enlightening me as a human .. Life teaches always and we can learn only if we want to 🙂