Tag: Life

I want to be a Tree!

What do I want to be if given another chance to live? I would never have answered  this question a few months ago. But now my answer is clear, A Tree! 

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I was walking in the park one evening and came across this giant tree(amongst so many more trees). She was so tall that I couldn’t see her branches beyond a point, she was old yet strong, she slanted yet didn’t budge. I stood under her , hugged her and just stayed with her. It’s so amazing that such a huge living being is so still while there is so much happening inside of her. The leaves ruffle but she is so grounded. Nothing small can deter her stance. I so want to be like her. Be stable and not let small things sway away my happiness, share all the love but don’t ask anything in return, take the bad vibes but only give out good, give the best to everyone. 

I held both my palms on the bark ,closed my eyes for a while and felt grounded . I was overwhelmed  by her energy . How can someone who is so still do so much without making noise I was bewildered. There is so much to learn from her on how to live life, right?

Hence if I have another life then I want to be a tree. I want to be like her for the rest of my life too.

Go through the seasons with no complaints but with poise ,

Give with no expectations,

Stand steady for people who want or don’t want me in their life,

Accept situations for what they are and just keep living a positive life.

Stand tall yet sway with the breeze, accept that nothing outside me is in my control . In short, Live Life to the fullest. 

I was so touched and humbled by her power that tears wouldn’t stop gushing , I was so over powered by her positive energy, I felt very blessed. I felt the need to share this with you all while I was sitting under her majestic branches, protecting me from harsh sun rays and comforting me that there is shade even in Sun. 

Nature is the best cure and there is a reason why! 

Sending positive vibes your way!

Stay Happy!

Bindu

What is letting go?

IMG_3528I hear everyone say let go, don’t hold on and I never understood the meaning of that. I couldn’t wrap my head around those words, I always fought back that I am not holding on! In the past year, I have learned to listen to myself clearer than I have all my life. That doesn’t mean I have arrived, I have a long way to go and I would like to call myself a work in progress. I have learned that my mind is a drama queen. She talks for the topic and against the topic in the same breath and it didn’t help me when I was alone. It was a huge battle I had to fight. I wondered is it just me? I was made to feel that I am an abnormal soul by a couple of my friends who listened to me. Then I started reading and researching as I wanted to understand more. Eckart Tolle, Oprah, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Panache Desai, B K Shivani , Tony Robbins etc the list is long and it was such a relief to learn that it was not just me! But what was even better to learn is that I am one of the blessed ones as I am aware of what’s happening and awareness is the beginning of everything.

It went on until I came across  Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul. This book has taken me by surprise. I am in awe of what I read, I haven’t re-read any para or lines or chapters like I have in his book. The best part? as usual, I received the book at the right time, right day and right second of my life.

He is now teaching me what is letting go. What we listen to is not us, when we can listen to something then that is not us and we become someone who is watching or noticing that is happening. The moment we step back and notice then we are not associated with the banter. When we have not associated magic happens as we do not react. Letting go is relaxing our bodies and breathing, the energy passes, the feeling goes away, the uneasiness disappears. The energy isn’t blocked in our body which then breeds all negativity.

He has an analogy for all that we carry he describes it as the thorn on our arm touching a nerve(I cringed at this thought). What are the options to deal with it really? Just 2. One is work around it and he describes this so beautifully. We can put a cast, change our environment, change everything around us continuously to accommodate the thorn and live with it and in this case end of the day, we are doing everything around what the thorn is dictating. It decides when we live and how or second simpler solution is letting go! removing the thorn and live life happily the way we want.

The irony is most of us choose option one to protect ourselves and live defending ourselves every second we breathe, wanting to control everything around so that we are safe. I felt the need to share this with you with the hope that if you are in the same boat as I am then this will help.

So this is how it all began,

It was a Saturday morning and I was very unwell. I woke up to comment against my name and something triggered me(my thorn- my fear). I reacted, I defended, cried foul, I fought, I ended up making the person who commented small. I kept thinking about what happened, why did I do what I did. I did not have answers but I knew that something wasn’t right. Now I know it was my way of protecting myself against all the conditioning I have gone through in my life, the limiting beliefs I have built. A painful realization that I have lived like this for so long. The best learning was that fear is a part of being human but its good to be present to it and not fight it. It’s ok to be wrong. It is never about the person who said anything its the thorn inside me which is hurting me. So it has always been about the thorn inside me.

The next time if someone is angry I hope and pray to God to give me the ability to pause and understand what is their primary emotion because anger is the secondary one and unfortunately we see just that emotion as it is on our face and loud. No one does anything to hurt us deliberately but they are fighting a war inside themselves. The primary emotion could be shame , fear, uncertainty, insecurity. Mine was shame. Something I have become aware of just now and hoping it stays with me.

Learning is an ongoing process so is self-care, the day we stop we become rusty and stink and will spiral without our own knowledge.

I wish you become aware of the demons you are fighting and let go of them and Breathe!

PS: Sorry to the person who I hurt and others who I might have hurt several times in the past, I wasn’t aware of anything. I did the best I could then.

The Unseen Bear

I was fortunate to travel to Yellow Stone last year and was excited about the hikes. The beautiful drive, vegetation, the different terrains blew my mind every second. One of the few times I have been present in “the now” as I had no time to look back or look ahead as Nature was in my company and she didn’t let me detract. Mother Nature is a healer and no one can do that job better than her is so true.

The moment I reached the hotel several signs freaked me out. The signage which said beware of Bear, how to protect myself from the Bear , what to do and what not to do, and mush more. The educational videos and immumerable sign boards tightened my chest. My stomach churned at the possibility of a bear attack. I wasnt sure if hiking was a good idea but then went with the flow.

The trails were beautiful and mesmerising while I enjoyed the view partially mostly my focus was on the bear. My mind was a whirl wind of questions, Was it following me? Was it closer? Did I just hear the Bear? Or was it wind? What will I do if it comes in front of me, will I remember all the things to do, so on and so forth. All the 5 days the terrains were differnet but fear remained the same. Was I living or dying was the question to answer here 🙂

After I left the place it got me thinking. Isn’t that the way we live everyday? With the fear of the unknown. With all the assumptions and adverse effects all created by our beautiful minds. The worst nightmares or horror stories spun by the mind. We dont realise that life is in the present moment and the best we can do is be present in the moment. We are looking at the Bears of the past and the Bears of the future and most times we dont even know what is the fear we harbour. Its the fear of the unknown. Its an epiphany that thinking about things or fretting about circumstances will not change the outcome. In my experince 80% of all that I thought or feared will happen has never ever happened. So maybe I am not good at it and should give up predicting future. Fear is good if it drives us to achieve something but it cripples us if we over think.

Fear or Faith choice is Ours, I chose faith in life and living in the present moment, what would you choose?

Wishing you peace!

Bee

 

 

 

Life should come with a label “limited time offer!”

Image Courtesy – Google

It was just another day for me, doing my mundane chores. Keeping myself busy and then a beep on my WhatsApp app shattered me. I was heartbroken to read about Sridevi’s demise. I have several reasons for this as the Diva left me with a lot of learnings. I feel unsettled; I feel uncomfortable as I am reminded that life is uncertain and death is the only certainty for us humans.

She looked gorgeous, she looked fit, she had her stardom and a happy family, and all this is what we saw or what was visible to us on social media. I know they are stars and have to keep up with the glamour world. I understand that the competition is too high and I may not even have kept up to 54 if I was her. She was very young, and all this was all too fast, I wonder how her family will come to terms with this loss. I wish her soul rests in peace .

I grew up watching her; she is one woman who has made me laugh in movies. I somehow was unknowingly connected to her I guess, though I haven’t watched all her films. Never have I made any effort to follow her on social media, yet the news was heartbreaking. I was wondering why did it hurt me?

It taught me life is short and how short no one knows. We must be prepared to embrace death any moment.

I realized I am conditioned to keep away from the subject “death”. I was always discouraged from discussing death because it is not positive. Alas!I learned that it is the only confirmed event in our life and hence has to be openly spoken about. I searched for talks on death last evening and watched them on ted.com(There are some interesting ones if you are interested)

I learned that fitness or nothing we do would guarantee a long life. I have innumerable limiting beliefs I became aware of in myself. It struck me that the only thing that matters is if we lived our life to the fullest when we breathed our last. When it is the time, we have to leave.

I became aware that we are all a spec of dust and can vanish in no time. However BIG we are in the society we are not indispensable, and life goes on.

I realized that living with the thought that we are here for a limited period might snap us out of our past(which is over) and maybe help us stop brooding over the future(which is uncertain).

I realized all I want is to be remembered as a woman who lived her life to the fullest and someone who loved her laugh lines.

I realized that yesterday is in my mind and tomorrow is again a game of the brain and all I have is just the present moment. The fact is in most cases we are fine now yet unhappy because of the thoughts we carry. All the negativity and pain are in mind.

I learned that I am running out of time and the fact is nothing can tell us how much time are we left with.

I realized rules stop us from living; society is in my mind. It’s my life, and only I can live it. Finally, I die alone.

Procrastinating will only ensure I am dead soon as time waits for none as that word stops us from living life.

Laugh out Loud – Love yourself – Live Life is the only way to be happy and the only way we can spread happiness.

Many more thoughts and realizations occurred to me in the last 24 hours. Sridevi left a message loud and clear for me, and I will always be eternally thankful to her. What if I don’t wake up tomorrow morning? Will I have regrets for things I left undone? Will I have a happy story or a sad one in my timeline when my life flashes in the last moment? So here I am making my best efforts to live now.

Do you agree that we have limited time or are you still willing to live like death doesn’t exist? Do you believe that not talking about it will evade it? If today was the last day of your life what are the things you will do? You may want to think.

I wish you a happy life!
Bindu

 

 

Do you love what you do?

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Work is worship is a saying I have grown up listening. I wonder if that implies that worship means “love and passion” too? In this world where most of us are operating in an autopilot mode where we don’t even know how we reached our destination, do we pause to think what passion means for us? Do we love what we do is the question?

If you don’t love what you do, you won’t do it with much conviction or passion is a quote by Mia Hamm.

A research says happy employees are more productive . Happiness is what we all look for in life .So I got on to search for my answers to questions like did I love my previous jobs? I did well, and I am confident that my past employers will hire me back but the question remains was that my passion?If yes, then why am I not with them anymore?

While all these thoughts were running on my mind, I stumbled upon a YouTube video of one of the mini-celebrity(mc) aka social media influencer who had organized a meet for her fans. And one of her followers asked the mc how did she manage to look so fresh and happy despite all the traveling, shooting, early mornings, late nights she has been doing. The celebrity’s life was an open book evidently thanks to her vlogs, so all knew her schedule, and that question piqued my curiosity, and I was hoping she wouldn’t name a product and endorse it at this point in response. To my relief, she didn’t let me down. She said I love what I do, it’s not my job, but it’s a part of me. So all I am doing is living my life, and I get paid for it. She sounded genuine and looked very happy(The video I am referring to is the one by vithya hair and make up)

TED and other motivational video channels share similar thoughts, and their talks are very inspirational, but they sound surreal to me . Most people I come across everyday are zombies like me jumping from task to tasks, dawn to dusk and on a repeat the next day.

I wanted to know the story of passion from real people, people who are around me whom I see every day. So I asked some who gave me the vibes that they love their job. I came across someone who quit her well-paying corporate career and started her own venture on coaching as she felt that is what makes her happy . Another friend of mine left a high flying job to build a start-up catering to the wellness industry . He had something very powerful “ he wanted to make something that makes a difference to our lives , something that adds value and voila! A software was born from the need” . There are many more super heroes without a cape around me and all I had to do was look around to spot them .

Follow your passion it will lead you to your purpose – Oprah Winfrey.

This lead to my next question purpose? I google searched the exact meaning of purpose as assumptions at this stage was a bad idea. So it goes like this

“ It is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. Purpose also means to have as one’s intention or objective.”

The intention is a magic word. After pouring over books and videos I learnt that the super heroes start their day with an intention to serve their purpose with work, family, friends, and themselves that day. An intention to deliver the best in whatever they do. And if what we do is our passion and we have the right plans everything falls into place automatically. Finally, I admit I am at peace with this discovery.

The very thought of getting paid for what I love to do and be myself makes me happy. This reveals to me that I never knew what was the meaning of making passion my work. I loved my job or the company or the boss but it wasn’t necessarily my passion.   A passion that makes me want to jump out of bed every morning like it’s a festival, a purpose that will help me drift into sleep smiling does sound blissful. All these leads to a happy “us” and in turn spreads the happiness and positivity to everyone around. There is so much we can gain by following our passion.

While all this sounds good, the hard truth is everything is in our hands. Even if we skim through books and read a zillion of them until we act on it, it remains a book or a blog on some website. So here are some questions that may help each one of us find answers to the question, do we love what we do.

  • Do you feel excited to wake up every morning and sometimes get sleepless at the thought of the next awesome day?
  • Do you feel satisfied when you go to bed every night?
  • Do you have a hundred reasons to be thankful for in life at any moment?

If the answers to all the above questions were an affirmative then congratulations, you nailed it obviously. If no, its time to find out what is that will help you answer the above questions with a simple yes.

Anything that strikes a chord with our being is our purpose. So what are you waiting for?

I wish you luck!

Bindu

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did they live happily ever after?

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Then they lived happily ever after; I loved this phrase growing up as that is how the fairy tales ended. That sentence was so positive and full of hope.For me, it meant the beginning and the end of a love story which indicates there is only happiness in the journey called life.

I grew up believing that everyone will have a person assigned to their name and then they will live happily ever after. It took years to understand how delusional that phrase was. How it could impact young minds and how it can coax them into believing that life with a partner mostly is all about happiness and all those hunky dory things.

The theory conveyed by fairy tales has been backed up by countless love stories aka movies which state the same concept in a million ways and hypnotize most into believing that the idea of happily living ever, after all, it does exist.

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So by the time one decides to date or be in a relationship the expectations are set, isn’t it? I began thinking why didn’t the author say it was a beginning of a new life and that life is all about ups and downs and it’s about tackling it together. Is it because we do not like hurdles and no one likes the truth? Well! I know it’s a fairy tale and not a reality now, yet its something we are repeatedly told in our growing years. Pardon me! No one warns us stating “don’t believe what I read out ” right? They read us stories with so much passion that we end up believing that a life like that exists.

I wonder if the naiveness to believe this phrase still exists in the kids today or will they say let’s get to the chase?
Will they end up dreaming about a life that doesn’t exist? A life which is based on fiction and doesn’t last anywhere in the world.

Is that why relationships lose their charm in days, months or years? Because we do not prepare for the reality called life? Is it possible that these stories are dictating lives of some generations?

I know daily soaps play a crucial role in the lives of many women but aren’t they a visual representation of what we read and someone’s fantasy again? Will we start outgrowing our imagination and reclaim our lives soon? Will we ever become aware of what Love is?

Jiddu Krishnamurthi questions, Is love pleasure ? or desire or remembrance? Or Is love attachment to a person, a country or an idea? He wants us to think and answer them obviously as it concerns us. The basic definition we grew up learning indicates that all the words he chose explain what love means for us.

It made me think and become aware that how we are all preconditioned as humans. On what love is and how we can define it, thanks to all that we read and watch. How we live in ignorance instead of enjoying the bliss called life? Very few are blessed to find a partner who understands this and engages in life. Have you found yours or would you like to become that partner now or would you like to live in ignorance? The choice is entirely yours. The good news here is, awareness can fix anything so alas! they lived happily ever after is possible if we take up life in our own hands by being present to it.

Wishing you love and happiness always 🙂

How not to be Mind-full! (Three simple everyday practices that help me be mindful. )

When I say the word “mindfulness,” I see people smirk or roll their eyes most times.  I am aware that their reaction is not because they find me amusing but because they don’t understand the word mindfulness. Living in the moment, being able to listen to the mind chatter and being entirely present to it is a huge task. It appears very simple. But simple is not easy.

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There are ways to create self-awareness, and these are things I have followed and continue to every day.

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Firstly, pause every 10 minutes and recollect what was the mind chattering while we were busy going about our daily lives. Make a mental note of all the points and continue with the chores. This practice can be repeated as frequently as possible in the beginning as this draws attention inwards and helps us focus on the present moment.

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Secondly, being aware of the breath can be a huge revelation trust me as we don’t like anything being repetitive.

Breathe deeply being aware of the air entering and leaving the nostrils. Deep breathing can be practiced all day for at least a few weeks. It becomes a habit eventually. We have to become aware that we are alive by the fragile breath and focus on it entirely. There are apps like calm and apple watch that can help us with mindful breathing. I prefer my body clock over the applications to avoid dependency.

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Thirdly, we should develop the art to listen and be ok with the negative self-talk, the horror stories that run inside our heads. It means we do not resist a thought but listen to it and be thankful that we are aware of all that is happening inside us. Always remember resistance makes the problem seem prominent than it is, so why not acknowledge the thought and befriend it.

I laugh at myself so many times when my mind whirls up negative thoughts as I am aware of its pattern and very well understand what can happen if I fall prey to it. Mindfulness ensures that we operate the mind and not vice-versa. Our mind can be that Robot in a Hollywood movie which captures the world and destroys everything until we realize the robot has a creator and also a remote control.

 

Being in control of life and being able to listen to all that and smile it off is a way we can remain sane with ourselves and our relationships. I have practiced all these, and it has helped me immensely hence wanted to share with all of you. The day we realize that we can control our mind unlike what it has done to us all these years we win the battle.

The Sink

I know , what a title right? I got this thought over a week ago but have been toying around with the idea;then was in procrastination mode , if I should write about this or no was the feud. I finally decided to blog:) . So the hero here , I mean the Sink is the kitchen one for me , well! It could be the one in the powder room or bathroom , doesn’t matter really .. When bollywood can come up with movies with random names like toilet …..etc  why not us right ? 😀

So what I was trying to say is I realised that the Sink is like our minds , it can get dirty in a minute or should I say a second… I clean the sink and become happy looking at my work and before I admire it any further either i put another dish into it or someone at home will and it looks dirty again . So I realised my dream of keeping it sparkly and clean will remain a dream forever . Just like our mind , if we dont watch and don’t feed positivity it will get negative and become toxic in no time . So it becomes very critical for us to keep the cleansing process ongoing be it every time we see it or every day and every night so that it is clean when we visit it in the morning . Who doesn’t like to wake up to a clean house in general be it the bed or sink or bathroom , how about we think the same for our mind ? Think positive through out the day, catch ourself loitering in the negative land and steer it towards the right direction. Look at the positives in each situation . Meditate or do something in which we give our 100% (be it running or cooking or reading , this is for people who dont connect with the word meditation ). The best will always remain sitting and focussing on our breath and last but not the least be thankful for everything we have . I know we feel we dont have all that we want but what we fail to see is what we have and appreciate it . Things like the roof, the food, our health , limbs , air , water , friends, family , tv , radio, car , bus , cycle etc etc . I mean we have a zillion reasons to be thankful for and keep our mind clean and stay happy always . A positive mind is a happy mind , a happy mind leads to happy relationships , happy relationships leads to a happy life .

Now do you realise where the sink led me to ? Well! I am thankful to the sink for teaching me this 😉

Stay Happy!

Bee

Non Judgement – A way of life

Judging :
I have been searching the meaning(not the dictionary one) for this word from long now . I got different answers but was never satisfied , i felt that was not it . My soul was not satiated . It is so easy to say “dont judge” but explain that ? we are told “just be with it”, so easy aint it? . So my fued with the word was on and finally here I am with an answer 🙂 . Feeling happy and wanted to share the happiness with all of you so wanted to blog this right away .
Judgement is adding or subtracting facts to something we see . Being non judgemental is just seeing the event or person undistorted , no adding past to it , no adding masala to it but seeing the event or person for that moment/instant.
let me try to explain this better may be via an example . When a spouse 😉 (best example no?) says he/she did not like a particular thing you did , listening to that feedback as it is will make sure we are being non judgemental and voila! we can remain calm and hence happy . What we typically do is (this its very normal by the way ) we listen to what he/she said and add all the past experiences /stories he /she said and make that into something else and respond . The other person wouldn’t be prepared and unassuming that you have derived a different meaning out of something  simple he/she said . And this can lead to a BIG issue and this is an ongoing issue with most people .
How about listening to that they said and responding to what was just said by not adding any past story, fact , assumptions and seeing the event for what it is.
Life its so simple yes so complicated . Imagine what if we are allowed to record our thoughts and play to others ? we wouldn’t have foes forget friends 😀 . I am amused and amazed with another learning and gratitude towards the universe. This is very simple yet difficult , how can we ensure we see the event or person for that moment or that incident? Did you just ask that? Well!  by being aware and by living in the present moment . Living in the present moment is by default being non judgemental in my opinion.  Lets live . Lets love . Lets stay happy