The choice is mine and yours to make, To react or respond is a choice we can make, To dwell or move on is a choice we can make, To be kind or not is a choice we can make, Because the choice is mine and yours to make.
To blame or accept is a choice we can make, To protest or suppress is a choice we make, To defend or offend is a choice we can make. Because choice is mine and yours to Make.
To hold tight or let go is a choice we can make, To be sad or happy is a choice we can make, To learn or unlearn is a choice we can make, Because choice is mine and yours to make Remember, even not making a choice is a choice we make!
It was a bright sunny afternoon and I was on a walk with a friend. We didn’t want to go to a restaurant as we weren’t comfortable with all the pandemic scare around. We walked for miles and talked about everything under the sun. We finally reached a spot under the tree for final bye exchanges and to go to our respective destinations – our home.
While we were busy wrapping up I see a lady walking on the pavement and she is very old. She( I will call her Nonna from hereon) is walking straight for a moment and walks into us the next , feels dizzy and collapses on the sidewalk on her seat. All this happens in a matter of few seconds and I am in shock. I don’t know what to do and I look at my friend for help and she is equally perplexed. Nonna wasn’t hurt but she was dizzy, scared, confused and she wanted help to get back on her feet. I felt anxiety rising inside me, feeling so uncomfortable with what was happening right in front of me.
She looked into my eyes and I was feeling so helpless as she was very old and I was worried for her health and mine. I wasn’t sure what was the right thing to do, the cars stopped by to offer help, the girl from a shop close by came to offer water. Nonna kept trying to get up but just couldn’t even move and she again asked me for help to get up. She didn’t engage with anyone but me and I was so present to that and that worried me even more as I felt responsible for her. She didn’t want to be told to sit or rest and that irritated her visibly , I sensed she felt trapped by her body and us.
So many questions on my mind what if she collapses again and hurts herself , what if she is sick , what if something happens to her. Is it safe to help her etc. I then look at her face she has aged so gracefully and all the wrinkles on her face has so many stories to share, she knows what she wants and all she asked me is a little help. We lock eyes again and she tells me help! I stop ruminating, I stop listening to people around me, I don’t wait for the ambulance to reach something inside me decided to do what she wanted. I offered her my hand and she hung on to it with all that she had, she held my leg to climb up and stand. She stood up and said I want to go. I asked her to wait, the other girl offered her water, my friend found the ambulance but she walked away. Nonna said I don’t know what happened to me but she put on a straight face and started walking
The paramedics tried to talk to her she questioned who they were and responded stating I don’t need help. She refused to engage with them and she refused to soften her gaze , she was in fear but she didn’t show it for a second and walked away with all the energy she had. I stood there sighing relief, regaining my breath with a thousand thoughts swimming in my head wondering will she be ok. The paramedic confirmed he knew where she lived as he saw her just a while ago when she started her walk so he felt she will reach safely. He said we can’t help if she doesn’t want to be helped.
I don’t know who she is , I don’t know how she is but her face is in my prayers everyday. I hope Nonna is fine and safe, I hope she is living happily. I hope she doesn’t fall again in this unstable world! I hope I learn to be as strong and bold like her if I reach her age because what she did needed a different level of grit and commitment to self.
Amidst the pandemic and quarantine, my mind is on a whirlwind. I stopped following the news a while ago because there were information overload and irrespective of whatever I read the best I can do is take care of myself and follow the hygiene. It’s like how they say on the airplane “wear your oxygen mask first before you help your fellow passengers” here I will take care of myself first so the others are safe. I still don’t know why is this so difficult to understand for many.
Anyways back to me and my monkey mind! I have this theory so this is what I feel happened.
Earth was tired and in pain the way we humans were handling her. Deforestation, pollution, dirt, racism, negativity, corruption, etc was in full swing and Mother Earth was in tears and decided to “pause” as that is the best way to heal. A mother loves her children but when they turn rouge she has to step back and let them face the repercussions as that is the best way to teach. Earth, the Stars, Moon, Stars, Nature, and animals had a meeting and they collectively decided to help mother earth fix all the issues. They discussed and decided that there has to be pain as most humans learn only with pain and fear as they do not understand the language of love. Earth didn’t want to wipe everyone away but chose a few who will sacrifice themselves to teach mankind a lesson on “how to live”. There came the Virus to teach humans to pause and heal. To teach us to savor the moment and live in the present. The more arrogant anyone got the more the damage so it was inevitable that one slows down. That is the intention of the meeting or should I say action items.
->We are all homebound and erasing distances we built with our loved ones as we didn’t have time – I think that Earth is hoping that after COVID 19 distances are bridged and we spend time with our loved ones than run away. ->Work from home – This will teach companies how to conserve resources and save- I am guessing her plan is to make corporates realize what discussion needs travel, a meeting or can it be a mail hence saving time and energy. ->We are all beautiful so we don’t need beauty services to make us beautiful. Remember the saying Beauty is an inside job. It’s good to look nice but it has to be paused as we need to accept and be ok if there is no spa or a haircut just the way our ancestors lived. Basic living comes above our need to look good- Wondering if Earth planned to ensure we spend wisely on the beautification, not as an obsession but for fun. ->We have taken everyone and everything for granted – I think she is hoping after this pandemic we will value fresh air, a walk in a grocery store, a sip of coffee at a coffee shop or having a meal at a restaurant or just walking freely inside a park or just hugging a friend. ->There is no poor or rich or caste or color or anything that can stop Mother Nature from treating us as equal- Be it Tom Hanks or someone on an unknown street in Italy everyone will face the same treatment. Everyone is Equal is the message here. ->Gratitude- With all the losses she ensures that we will remember to be thankful for small things and we will value and respect ourselves. We will remember that life is short, we can plan what we want, we can invest in all that we want but a small virus can ruin us all. It’s so important to value the moment as we may be wiped out in no time. ->Arrogance and selfishness won’t work but love will. Love is the only way forward, love is the only way of life. If we love ourselves and spread love, love will come back to us. If we harm ourselves then we harm others as we are all social beings. ->Cleanliness is next to Godliness this is a known thing – I am guessing her Goal was to make sure we will all remain clean after the pandemic as this becomes a way of life. Washing hands is not an unknown rule, it’s normal and we don’t need to be told to wash the dirt. ->Isolation and Social distancing helps us to know ourselves more, heal our bodies and soul, helps us discover ourselves in-depth- The earth will become a better place to live after this pandemic most certainly if everyone understands the value of being in our own company.
Amidst all these people have lost jobs, their loved ones, their peace, and fear have engulfed but it is a reminder that we are together in it and no one is alone. I am in awe the way so many of them are doing their bit to spread positivity and cheer. There are so many free meditation classes, free workouts, blogs, positive messages, quotes on social media that the love is overwhelming and it is proof that we are not alone in this and there is an army behind us who cares even if they do not know us. Let’s just pause and breathe and be in the moment, let us learn to love ourselves and accept that is the only way to live, let’s wipe away Mother Earth’s tears and bring cheers to ourselves.
May we and our Mother Earth be free from pain, May we live happily until we are on this planet.
Bindu Gopinath 