A question that had a template response in my head, and my standard response is I am feeling good. When a doctor asked how are you feeling? Utmost I would come up with I am feeling sick. Yes limited vocabulary syndrome( I just made that up but let’s assume that’s what it is called) is what I have struggled with all my life. I can write but I cannot talk. The past year has been an eye opener for me and I learned that good and bad are not necessarily feelings. Insecurity is not a feeling, feeling blamed is not a feeling and I was totally agape! These are mere interpretation of how we are feeling. We might be feeling sad or angry behind the facade of insecurity. The primary feeling behind anger is frustration/ fear and I never knew this, I promise!! What was this? Why didn’t I learn this all these years were the questions on my mind. Coming from a conservative family that didn’t believe in communicating feelings I didn’t know what that meant or felt. I mean that is most of Indian population I would assume. The word feeling had no meaning or purpose in my life. It was much later when I was asked how is that I can’t emote when I can write it struck me that I was stuck in a whirlpool for many years. Did you ask how didn’t I drown? Well I had drowned but didn’t even realize I did.

It took weeks to digest this fact and been months since I am trying to express how I am feeling from the bottom of my heart. Since all of us say good most times it wasn’t helpful for me to hone the skill as others never connected with me. I finally figured that it worked when I talked to a handful of them whom I either didn’t know or know too well because in these scenarios they are trying to know you 🙂 .

There is a tool that helped me with learning how to name my feelings and I wanted to share the same with you. Its called the feeling wheel because all of us deserve to express beyond the auto pilot “good”. Until we communicate the other won’t know- no rocket science but yet something we dabble with as humans, right? . It is so crucial to share what we experience inside of us which no one can magically understand( that was my expectation for years hence this line :D) . I hope this helps you. It’s ok to be behind in expressing because it’s better late than never. Incidentally today I am ok not being able to express because I am aware of it. It’s ok because I have accepted that and acknowledge it and am willing to learn more as day goes by.

Psychology says the moment we name a feeling it loses its power over us! Awareness is the first step. Don’t you agree?

Love and Light