Tag: relationships

How are you feeling?

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I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago. She narrated a story about her old work place. She worked in a gas station and handled difficult customers all the time. People would be impatient. They would get mad at other customers at the gas station. Then, they would express all the anger at her as she managed the place. She was helpless and couldn’t do anything other than apologize. Yet, they would demand her to talk to her manager. She would promptly make that happen. The story is not about my friend who worked at the gas station. It is about the lady who was her boss. Let’s call her Katie. I don’t even know of her. Whenever an angry customer went and spoke to Katie she would call my friend and talk to her. Here is the twist, Katie each time there is an irate customer, calls my friend. She asked her, how are you feeling? Was it a lot? I hope you are doing fine and after listening to her completely she would then proceed to resolve the issue. This hit me like a thunderbolt.

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When we are stressed no matter what causes us we usually dump it on others. Angry at work? Dump that on spouse, angry with spouse well kids can take the bait, angry at customer? There is an employee who faces it. We don’t pause for a second and think well! This is so hard for me to hear second hand. How difficult must it have been for the person who experienced it? How are they feeling? Are they ok? In most cases I am pretty convinced that we will beat ourselves up when we do a mistake. We stab ourselves repeatedly and when someone is bleeding what they need is first aid and not another stab!

I was so much in awe when I heard about what Katie did and it changed something in me. A switch that was turned on internally is how I can best explain it . I told myself to be mindful of the people I meet every day. I will strive to be a better human. I may err but next time when I do I will be aware and maybe gentle .. Give myself and others grace perhaps. As humans what we need is to be seen right .. I wish you luck with this practice too 🙂

What is growth?

A question I have dabbled with in the past and continue to now, what is growth? Is it the balance I manage to accumulate in my bank account? Is it the place I live or the clothes and bags I own? Is it the car I drive? Is it the friends I made or the places I explored? I feel everything defines growth in different ways for each one of us but this morning I realised what it might be for me.

I was talking to my grandma over the phone and she asked me to keep myself warm and wear a sweater because the weather is cold. It was a simple , obvious advise which I loved hearing and smiled at myself after I ended the call. This is growth, why you ask?

In the past I would have told her I know what to do or scoffed or lectured her on how I know how to keep myself warm with all arrogance in ignorance but today I realise love is not only about saying I love you. Its about taking care of small things and sharing small things with our loved ones. I realise no one in this world will pause and tell me wear warm clothes than my loved ones so I dont want to take that for granted. I know that I am blessed to have someone tell me that I have to take care of myself. I started valuing it and I think that is growth. 

Growth is being a better person than I was yesterday or a minute ago. Growth is being aware and trying to put that in action, Growth is wanting to be a better person for self and the others.

Does this mean I will give up buying things or getting angry? Well No! I am human and I will do all of that but these small moments of gratitude and presence of mind to accept what is coming my way is what I am grateful for.

This is my realisation a few minutes ago and I wanted to share that with you all. You never know who needs to read this today and realise the value of that they already have. Sharing my learning , I hope you pause and enjoy the small things in life and I pray I continue to do the same.img_1485

Thats a pic of me as a baby, I dont know why I chose that for this blog but yes I have grown 😉

 

Love and Light 

Bindu 

I want to be a Tree!

What do I want to be if given another chance to live? I would never have answered  this question a few months ago. But now my answer is clear, A Tree! 

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I was walking in the park one evening and came across this giant tree(amongst so many more trees). She was so tall that I couldn’t see her branches beyond a point, she was old yet strong, she slanted yet didn’t budge. I stood under her , hugged her and just stayed with her. It’s so amazing that such a huge living being is so still while there is so much happening inside of her. The leaves ruffle but she is so grounded. Nothing small can deter her stance. I so want to be like her. Be stable and not let small things sway away my happiness, share all the love but don’t ask anything in return, take the bad vibes but only give out good, give the best to everyone. 

I held both my palms on the bark ,closed my eyes for a while and felt grounded . I was overwhelmed  by her energy . How can someone who is so still do so much without making noise I was bewildered. There is so much to learn from her on how to live life, right?

Hence if I have another life then I want to be a tree. I want to be like her for the rest of my life too.

Go through the seasons with no complaints but with poise ,

Give with no expectations,

Stand steady for people who want or don’t want me in their life,

Accept situations for what they are and just keep living a positive life.

Stand tall yet sway with the breeze, accept that nothing outside me is in my control . In short, Live Life to the fullest. 

I was so touched and humbled by her power that tears wouldn’t stop gushing , I was so over powered by her positive energy, I felt very blessed. I felt the need to share this with you all while I was sitting under her majestic branches, protecting me from harsh sun rays and comforting me that there is shade even in Sun. 

Nature is the best cure and there is a reason why! 

Sending positive vibes your way!

Stay Happy!

Bindu

Did they live happily ever after?

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Then they lived happily ever after; I loved this phrase growing up as that is how the fairy tales ended. That sentence was so positive and full of hope.For me, it meant the beginning and the end of a love story which indicates there is only happiness in the journey called life.

I grew up believing that everyone will have a person assigned to their name and then they will live happily ever after. It took years to understand how delusional that phrase was. How it could impact young minds and how it can coax them into believing that life with a partner mostly is all about happiness and all those hunky dory things.

The theory conveyed by fairy tales has been backed up by countless love stories aka movies which state the same concept in a million ways and hypnotize most into believing that the idea of happily living ever, after all, it does exist.

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So by the time one decides to date or be in a relationship the expectations are set, isn’t it? I began thinking why didn’t the author say it was a beginning of a new life and that life is all about ups and downs and it’s about tackling it together. Is it because we do not like hurdles and no one likes the truth? Well! I know it’s a fairy tale and not a reality now, yet its something we are repeatedly told in our growing years. Pardon me! No one warns us stating “don’t believe what I read out ” right? They read us stories with so much passion that we end up believing that a life like that exists.

I wonder if the naiveness to believe this phrase still exists in the kids today or will they say let’s get to the chase?
Will they end up dreaming about a life that doesn’t exist? A life which is based on fiction and doesn’t last anywhere in the world.

Is that why relationships lose their charm in days, months or years? Because we do not prepare for the reality called life? Is it possible that these stories are dictating lives of some generations?

I know daily soaps play a crucial role in the lives of many women but aren’t they a visual representation of what we read and someone’s fantasy again? Will we start outgrowing our imagination and reclaim our lives soon? Will we ever become aware of what Love is?

Jiddu Krishnamurthi questions, Is love pleasure ? or desire or remembrance? Or Is love attachment to a person, a country or an idea? He wants us to think and answer them obviously as it concerns us. The basic definition we grew up learning indicates that all the words he chose explain what love means for us.

It made me think and become aware that how we are all preconditioned as humans. On what love is and how we can define it, thanks to all that we read and watch. How we live in ignorance instead of enjoying the bliss called life? Very few are blessed to find a partner who understands this and engages in life. Have you found yours or would you like to become that partner now or would you like to live in ignorance? The choice is entirely yours. The good news here is, awareness can fix anything so alas! they lived happily ever after is possible if we take up life in our own hands by being present to it.

Wishing you love and happiness always 🙂