Tag: selflove

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Aware love

I recently was listening to a podcast about an author who has worked with prison inmates. It was beyond my understanding when the author said that he sees people despite their henious crimes. While he passionately voiced that they are good humans behind their criminal labels. His empathy and passion for helping them was beyond the understanding of my intellect. It took a second for me to understand that, it was an Aha! Moment . It took a little while for my brain to process that what people do is beyond who they are. We are not what we do but we are much bigger than that action. What we do is an action and that doesn’t define us. It is a mindblowing concept and I wish I had learnt that eons ago. I wonder how much humility one needs to be able to see that. This thought has been thawing in the back of my mind , thanks to Oprah. 

I clicked this blurred messy image amidst a stormy hail. I felt it explains how blurred my view was!

This morning I was learning the concept of aware love and that was what brought back gushing memories about the podcast. What is that you ask? Aware love is being aware of the person and loving them sans their actions. Seeing that someone’s action is not them but merely a choice they make. Being aware of that reality and loving anyways is unconditional love. An alien concept for many of us I assume as that means being non judge-mental. Seeing through a lens of compassion and yes! We are built to see others that ways apparently!

It was a light bulb moment and I felt the need to pen this down. I wish I was able to see this and understand this concept in the early years of my life then I wonder where I would be right now? That blog for another time.

A step further doesn’t this also mean not taking what others say or do personally, that means nothing is about us? That also means no one is controlling us but our own minds and belief systems? This concept is whooshing inside my head and going through every corner and picking up everything that comes in its way. 

Aware love also means being aware of ourselves and loving ourselves despite the mistakes we make right? It has to ideally begin there I would think. The ability to see ourselves with love despite the mistakes we have made is aware love. If we can start with ourselves it will soon become a second nature for us! 

This sounds too simple – If we are able to observe situations than judge them , we hit a home run .

While doing an exercise on self awareness I realized that my observations weren’t observations but judgements. My mind has been on auto pilot mode that it doesn’t even discern the difference between the two. Saying he/she was so rude to me which is a judgement vis a vis saying he/she said harsh things changes the way the story is written. When the theme of the story changes do does the ending isn’t it? Was this the really meaning of happy ending stories that I perhaps never understood because of the shallow romantic love displayed in movies?

I wish you unconditional love, aware love! I wish you happiness in life!

PS: I am writing after a long time so please forgive my rustiness

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How Covid-19 will change our lives forever

Pexels.com

Amidst the pandemic and quarantine, my mind is on a whirlwind. I stopped following the news a while ago because there were information overload and irrespective of whatever I read the best I can do is take care of myself and follow the hygiene. It’s like how they say on the airplane “wear your oxygen mask first before you help your fellow passengers” here I will take care of myself first so the others are safe. I still don’t know why is this so difficult to understand for many.

Anyways back to me and my monkey mind! I have this theory so this is what I feel happened.

Earth was tired and in pain the way we humans were handling her. Deforestation, pollution, dirt, racism, negativity, corruption, etc was in full swing and Mother Earth was in tears and decided to “pause” as that is the best way to heal. A mother loves her children but when they turn rouge she has to step back and let them face the repercussions as that is the best way to teach. Earth, the Stars, Moon, Stars, Nature, and animals had a meeting and they collectively decided to help mother earth fix all the issues. They discussed and decided that there has to be pain as most humans learn only with pain and fear as they do not understand the language of love. Earth didn’t want to wipe everyone away but chose a few who will sacrifice themselves to teach mankind a lesson on “how to live”.
There came the Virus to teach humans to pause and heal. To teach us to savor the moment and live in the present. The more arrogant anyone got the more the damage so it was inevitable that one slows down.
That is the intention of the meeting or should I say action items.

->We are all homebound and erasing distances we built with our loved ones as we didn’t have time – I think that Earth is hoping that after COVID 19 distances are bridged and we spend time with our loved ones than run away.
->Work from home – This will teach companies how to conserve resources and save- I am guessing her plan is to make corporates realize what discussion needs travel, a meeting or can it be a mail hence saving time and energy.
->We are all beautiful so we don’t need beauty services to make us beautiful. Remember the saying Beauty is an inside job. It’s good to look nice but it has to be paused as we need to accept and be ok if there is no spa or a haircut just the way our ancestors lived. Basic living comes above our need to look good- Wondering if Earth planned to ensure we spend wisely on the beautification, not as an obsession but for fun.
->We have taken everyone and everything for granted – I think she is hoping after this pandemic we will value fresh air, a walk in a grocery store, a sip of coffee at a coffee shop or having a meal at a restaurant or just walking freely inside a park or just hugging a friend.
->There is no poor or rich or caste or color or anything that can stop Mother Nature from treating us as equal- Be it Tom Hanks or someone on an unknown street in Italy everyone will face the same treatment. Everyone is Equal is the message here.
->Gratitude- With all the losses she ensures that we will remember to be thankful for small things and we will value and respect ourselves.
We will remember that life is short, we can plan what we want, we can invest in all that we want but a small virus can ruin us all. It’s so important to value the moment as we may be wiped out in no time.
->Arrogance and selfishness won’t work but love will. Love is the only way forward, love is the only way of life. If we love ourselves and spread love, love will come back to us. If we harm ourselves then we harm others as we are all social beings.
->Cleanliness is next to Godliness this is a known thing – I am guessing her Goal was to make sure we will all remain clean after the pandemic as this becomes a way of life. Washing hands is not an unknown rule, it’s normal and we don’t need to be told to wash the dirt.
->Isolation and Social distancing helps us to know ourselves more, heal our bodies and soul, helps us discover ourselves in-depth- The earth will become a better place to live after this pandemic most certainly if everyone understands the value of being in our own company.

Amidst all these people have lost jobs, their loved ones, their peace, and fear have engulfed but it is a reminder that we are together in it and no one is alone. I am in awe the way so many of them are doing their bit to spread positivity and cheer. There are so many free meditation classes, free workouts, blogs, positive messages, quotes on social media that the love is overwhelming and it is proof that we are not alone in this and there is an army behind us who cares even if they do not know us. Let’s just pause and breathe and be in the moment, let us learn to love ourselves and accept that is the only way to live, let’s wipe away Mother Earth’s tears and bring cheers to ourselves.

May we and our Mother Earth be free from pain, May we live happily until we are on this planet.

Love and Light
Bindu

What are you hiding behind?

A new luxury brand is about to launch its lipstick range and I was mightily excited. I was so elated at the possibility of being able to own one lipstick from them and flaunt it. While I was reading details on the launch and squealing in excitement something hard struck me. Why do I need this lipstick? (I am a hoarder and have many shades with me already) How different can this brand be? then why the need?


https://www.pexels.com/@kpaukshtite

My instant response was I want to look nice! That color is divine and it will make me look beautiful. I asked myself, look nice for whom? My defense mechanism was immediately activated to justify stating “It is for my own eyes” and no one :). That’s how I have always ended up buying more things especially lipsticks as I have an underlying addiction towards them. I started thinking more and realized how as a kid I was told that my lips didn’t look good and I had the need to cover them up. I being the lucky one who started dancing at an age of 4, always had one lipstick around me to apply for the dance shows, a magenta as only that suits a dusky girl. It became my obsession to hide behind the lipstick’s once I started earning on my own. If I am found without them I will be damned, people will hate me was my paranoia.

Until 2 years ago I was that ways and slowly started working my way up and learned that people like me for who I am and not for the lipstick I wear. I have to be honest I still can’t live without them but I am a work in progress as I would like to say. But the stigma is so strong that I am still dabbling with it. It is so important what we say to a growing child, it’s so important to encourage them and tell them their positive qualities than the negatives. Its so important not to body shame them and not make beauty about physical looks. I lost track of my point :), it was just 2 days ago something jolted me back to reality. It struck me that each one of us is unique and is beautiful. Then why do I need to become beautiful like someone? How can any product on the shelf make me look like anyone? Whatever we do we cannot look like someone when each one of us is unique.

It is so important what we say to a growing child, it’s so important to encourage them and tell them their positive qualities than the negatives. Its so important not to body shame them and not make beauty about physical looks

It saddens me that the cosmetics industry is striving on that pulse of women, pardon me I say women because makeup is mostly used by us. I never realized that a brand can’t make me beautiful and I kept buying every brand to attain the beauty standards that were imposed on me by society, by the conditioning. I am so grateful for the Aha moment and I wanted to share it here. It is lipstick for me, have you ever thought what is that thing you hide behind than facing the reality?

Is it work? Social media likes? Pleasing people etc? Have you thought how someone else is benefiting from it while we are beating up ourselves for not being good enough? Its time you found your lipstick while I work on letting go of mine.

Love and Light,

Bindu

It’s now or never!

 

193698-Elvis-Presley-Quote-Tomorrow-will-be-too-late-it-s-now-or-never

Image courtesy- Google

I just heard the sad news about the demise of someone I know, whose laughter still rings in my ears. It got me thinking, how fragile are we. Controlled by this breath and with no control in our hands. While we believe we own everything but in reality we have nothing. Not all that we earned, not all the accolades and not even our own body. It all belongs to this earth, and we go wherever we do with nothing accompanying us. Will we carry memories I wonder? Will happy memories keep us alive up there? How I wish someone could answer this for me.If not that, I will be content to leave this planet with no regrets, is that too much to ask for I wonder?

Of late I have had this realization that we human beings are all so optimistic. We do not believe in pessimism at all. Before you analyze that statement I made, I will explain this further. We are all planning our future. What we will do next year or in the next five years, how we will settle for good in x years, how we will focus on life in x years and so on. We are busy rushing away with the present as we are looking forward to that tomorrow which may not even exist. How are we so confident then? Are we all in a kind of coma? We know we might not survive the next second yet we are ok to fight with our loved ones and sleep angry. We don’t have an expiry date yet we plan what we do after we retire. We let go of everything we have now for that tomorrow that doesn’t even exist. No one in this universe can assure us of the next moment, yet we do what we are good at, living for tomorrow. If this isn’t called optimism then what is?

The sad news, accidents, calamities, deaths shudder me. There are so many talks, messages, forwards, posts on social media which scream at us that this is the only moment yet we are in a race inside our mind and are willing to gamble all that we have for an unknown tomorrow. Does tomorrow exist? Why are we programmed this way? Why don’t we live the now and live it to the fullest being aware that tomorrow might not even be there? Why can’t we be with our loved ones to our heart’s content now? Why do we plan to live to our heart’s content “x” years from now?

Does life have a way of making us realize? I recollect reading a message in which the lord of death Yama comes to the wealthy man to take him away, and he had millions of rupees, but none of that could buy him a second. I repeat, the money couldn’t buy him even one second.

That brings to my quest, In a fragile life like ours, shouldn’t we enjoy every second of it with people we love the most? Listen to them, speak to them and love them to our heart’s content? Express all that we should now and not wait until tomorrow? Live life like there is no tomorrow? I wish we all can…

This very moment, I want you to know that you have touched my life in some way or the other, else you wouldn’t be reading this. I hope and pray that you become aware of this reality that all we have is now. Like the saying goes its now or never.

Happy Living!