My Bare Skin Pic

I have grown up feeling like an ugly duckling. No one ever left a stone unturned to comment on my skin color or my height. Dark was dirty and tall means how will I find a man? Everyone asked me this from friends to strangers. I carried this baggage on my shoulders all these years. I covered myself up in makeup, in products that promised a porcelain skin, I was a guinea pig for every possible product. All I wanted to prove to everyone was that I am beautiful.

What we are told as a kid becomes our limiting belief, it shapes our belief system and after that, whatever happens, we go by what our mind was told repeatedly. Some become defensive, some surrender, some gets depressed and some rebel. I had every trait in me more of a rebel growing up as a kid and defensive as an adult. I wasn’t aware of these traits while I was growing up even if my mother called me a rebel I wouldn’t understand because I didn’t know what it felt like not being one. The reality is I was protecting myself.

My journey went on for years and I loved dressing up and I still do but the makeup was an intrinsic part of my life. I would hide and cringe at the thought of how people will perceive my acne prone skin or how they will judge me(This wasn’t an assumption but an experience- we don’t take a second to comment on others weight, skin or clour do we?). I never realized that the biggest scar was inside my head and not on my skin. 

This past month I finally have realized and accepted that beauty is an inside thing and my skin isn’t my identity. I have been interacting with a lot of people over the phone and they have been very appreciative of me and they don’t even know how I look and that struck me! I have met people around me who appreciate dark skin as beautiful. Each time someone told me they will kill to have my skin tone I shrunk as I couldn’t believe my ears. Something changed, a little shift took place and I feel so liberated to share that I haven’t been applying makeup to my face and I haven’t felt this beautiful ever. I still have scars and I know they will fade. I know I am growing old and my skin will wrinkle and I am ok as I am just human.

Why did I have to share this with you? I have struggled with this insecurity inside me and wanted to share with everyone who still secretly is suffering. It isn’t easy to talk about and it not everyone understands. If you are going through any of the above I mentioned always remember people who love you won’t care about how you look and people who don’t like you do not matter.  Irrespective of what others say, there is one choice we can make- instead of covering up our faces and making others happy we can uncover our faces and make ourselves happy.

For the others who are quick to comment on others or in body shaming, just remember you are scarring someone for life, especially if it is a kid please be kind as it takes a lot of energy to fight back and stand up for ourselves.

The only person we have to face at the end of the tunnel is us. What is she/he said I know they were all bad to you but how did you treat yourself?

You are beautiful the way you are!

Love and Light

Bindu

PS: I still love makeup but for fun and not to hide behind it 🙂