Author: bindugopinath

Hello There , I started writing on Facebook out of sheer passion , a passion that was harboured within me from the time I learnt to write . I started with poems which rhymes :) , i made a journal and hid it with me over years until I reached my teens to only destroy them for I felt they were silly .. I still penned down all my dark secrets, my pain , my happiness from the terrace of my home . I loved to scribble despite the fact that I had the worst handwriting on this planet(in my opinion).. I will always say thank you for technology else how will I have communicated to the world what I wanted to? I finally created a hashtag #randomthoughts and started writing , later changed it to #mystory and realised people started liking them and began requesting me to write more .. So here I am only because of your love ,creating a blog to pen my thoughts .. I have been told by the super power that it is my purpose to keep others happy and that I have to do my bit to bring change and good. It is my personal responsibility and I hope I help one soul if not all and that will be happiness for me. Here on this blog you will find stories that pop up in my little brain , some reviews of food as I believe food is us as we are made of food and few random thoughts :) , that word doesn't go away from me however I try . While I am not writing or procrastinating to write I love to meditate, Enjoy learning about our body, cooking ,fitness and reading. I am a hopeless dreamer , love to eat and travel , believe music is life and love to laugh(giggle is appropriate) ..

What is growth?

A question I have dabbled with in the past and continue to now, what is growth? Is it the balance I manage to accumulate in my bank account? Is it the place I live or the clothes and bags I own? Is it the car I drive? Is it the friends I made or the places I explored? I feel everything defines growth in different ways for each one of us but this morning I realised what it might be for me.

I was talking to my grandma over the phone and she asked me to keep myself warm and wear a sweater because the weather is cold. It was a simple , obvious advise which I loved hearing and smiled at myself after I ended the call. This is growth, why you ask?

In the past I would have told her I know what to do or scoffed or lectured her on how I know how to keep myself warm with all arrogance in ignorance but today I realise love is not only about saying I love you. Its about taking care of small things and sharing small things with our loved ones. I realise no one in this world will pause and tell me wear warm clothes than my loved ones so I dont want to take that for granted. I know that I am blessed to have someone tell me that I have to take care of myself. I started valuing it and I think that is growth. 

Growth is being a better person than I was yesterday or a minute ago. Growth is being aware and trying to put that in action, Growth is wanting to be a better person for self and the others.

Does this mean I will give up buying things or getting angry? Well No! I am human and I will do all of that but these small moments of gratitude and presence of mind to accept what is coming my way is what I am grateful for.

This is my realisation a few minutes ago and I wanted to share that with you all. You never know who needs to read this today and realise the value of that they already have. Sharing my learning , I hope you pause and enjoy the small things in life and I pray I continue to do the same.img_1485

Thats a pic of me as a baby, I dont know why I chose that for this blog but yes I have grown 😉

 

Love and Light 

Bindu 

I want to be a Tree!

What do I want to be if given another chance to live? I would never have answered  this question a few months ago. But now my answer is clear, A Tree! 

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I was walking in the park one evening and came across this giant tree(amongst so many more trees). She was so tall that I couldn’t see her branches beyond a point, she was old yet strong, she slanted yet didn’t budge. I stood under her , hugged her and just stayed with her. It’s so amazing that such a huge living being is so still while there is so much happening inside of her. The leaves ruffle but she is so grounded. Nothing small can deter her stance. I so want to be like her. Be stable and not let small things sway away my happiness, share all the love but don’t ask anything in return, take the bad vibes but only give out good, give the best to everyone. 

I held both my palms on the bark ,closed my eyes for a while and felt grounded . I was overwhelmed  by her energy . How can someone who is so still do so much without making noise I was bewildered. There is so much to learn from her on how to live life, right?

Hence if I have another life then I want to be a tree. I want to be like her for the rest of my life too.

Go through the seasons with no complaints but with poise ,

Give with no expectations,

Stand steady for people who want or don’t want me in their life,

Accept situations for what they are and just keep living a positive life.

Stand tall yet sway with the breeze, accept that nothing outside me is in my control . In short, Live Life to the fullest. 

I was so touched and humbled by her power that tears wouldn’t stop gushing , I was so over powered by her positive energy, I felt very blessed. I felt the need to share this with you all while I was sitting under her majestic branches, protecting me from harsh sun rays and comforting me that there is shade even in Sun. 

Nature is the best cure and there is a reason why! 

Sending positive vibes your way!

Stay Happy!

Bindu

The Moon



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She stared at me all night,

Changing color, hue, and light,

She glowed from within and it was real,

I felt pure love flowing into me.




She taught me to remain big yet don't make noise,

She said it's ok to fade and go away,

Life is a cycle what goes around comes around,

Keep glowing even if no one is seeing.




My power is mine and I never talk

Some know of me and some don't,
It doesn't affect me if I am seen or not,

I am still here for a purpose and I play my part.




The body you own is not yours,

The thoughts that occur are not you,

The people you crave for you do not own,

Despite all that you own you leave here as dust.



Its dawn and it’s time for me to leave,

Remember that life is short here so please Live,
Don't live in fear or fret what others will think,

Just Breathe, Live and Let Live.




BG

	


	


			
				


			

			
I am Beautiful!
		
	
	

		
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My Bare Skin Pic


I have grown up feeling like an ugly duckling. No one ever left a stone unturned to comment on my skin color or my height. Dark was dirty and tall means how will I find a man? Everyone asked me this from friends to strangers. I carried this baggage on my shoulders all these years. I covered myself up in makeup, in products that promised a porcelain skin, I was a guinea pig for every possible product. All I wanted to prove to everyone was that I am beautiful.


What we are told as a kid becomes our limiting belief, it shapes our belief system and after that, whatever happens, we go by what our mind was told repeatedly. Some become defensive, some surrender, some gets depressed and some rebel. I had every trait in me more of a rebel growing up as a kid and defensive as an adult. I wasn’t aware of these traits while I was growing up even if my mother called me a rebel I wouldn’t understand because I didn’t know what it felt like not being one. The reality is I was protecting myself.


My journey went on for years and I loved dressing up and I still do but the makeup was an intrinsic part of my life. I would hide and cringe at the thought of how people will perceive my acne prone skin or how they will judge me(This wasn’t an assumption but an experience- we don’t take a second to comment on others weight, skin or clour do we?). I never realized that the biggest scar was inside my head and not on my skin. 


This past month I finally have realized and accepted that beauty is an inside thing and my skin isn’t my identity. I have been interacting with a lot of people over the phone and they have been very appreciative of me and they don’t even know how I look and that struck me! I have met people around me who appreciate dark skin as beautiful. Each time someone told me they will kill to have my skin tone I shrunk as I couldn’t believe my ears. Something changed, a little shift took place and I feel so liberated to share that I haven’t been applying makeup to my face and I haven’t felt this beautiful ever. I still have scars and I know they will fade. I know I am growing old and my skin will wrinkle and I am ok as I am just human.


Why did I have to share this with you? I have struggled with this insecurity inside me and wanted to share with everyone who still secretly is suffering. It isn’t easy to talk about and it not everyone understands. If you are going through any of the above I mentioned always remember people who love you won’t care about how you look and people who don’t like you do not matter.  Irrespective of what others say, there is one choice we can make- instead of covering up our faces and making others happy we can uncover our faces and make ourselves happy.


For the others who are quick to comment on others or in body shaming, just remember you are scarring someone for life, especially if it is a kid please be kind as it takes a lot of energy to fight back and stand up for ourselves.


The only person we have to face at the end of the tunnel is us. What is she/he said I know they were all bad to you but how did you treat yourself?


You are beautiful the way you are!


Love and Light


Bindu


PS: I still love makeup but for fun and not to hide behind it 🙂

	


	


			
				


			

			
What is letting go?
		
	
	

		
IMG_3528I hear everyone say let go, don’t hold on and I never understood the meaning of that. I couldn’t wrap my head around those words, I always fought back that I am not holding on! In the past year, I have learned to listen to myself clearer than I have all my life. That doesn’t mean I have arrived, I have a long way to go and I would like to call myself a work in progress. I have learned that my mind is a drama queen. She talks for the topic and against the topic in the same breath and it didn’t help me when I was alone. It was a huge battle I had to fight. I wondered is it just me? I was made to feel that I am an abnormal soul by a couple of my friends who listened to me. Then I started reading and researching as I wanted to understand more. Eckart Tolle, Oprah, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Panache Desai, B K Shivani , Tony Robbins etc the list is long and it was such a relief to learn that it was not just me! But what was even better to learn is that I am one of the blessed ones as I am aware of what’s happening and awareness is the beginning of everything.


It went on until I came across  Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul. This book has taken me by surprise. I am in awe of what I read, I haven’t re-read any para or lines or chapters like I have in his book. The best part? as usual, I received the book at the right time, right day and right second of my life.


He is now teaching me what is letting go. What we listen to is not us, when we can listen to something then that is not us and we become someone who is watching or noticing that is happening. The moment we step back and notice then we are not associated with the banter. When we have not associated magic happens as we do not react. Letting go is relaxing our bodies and breathing, the energy passes, the feeling goes away, the uneasiness disappears. The energy isn’t blocked in our body which then breeds all negativity.


He has an analogy for all that we carry he describes it as the thorn on our arm touching a nerve(I cringed at this thought). What are the options to deal with it really? Just 2. One is work around it and he describes this so beautifully. We can put a cast, change our environment, change everything around us continuously to accommodate the thorn and live with it and in this case end of the day, we are doing everything around what the thorn is dictating. It decides when we live and how or second simpler solution is letting go! removing the thorn and live life happily the way we want.


The irony is most of us choose option one to protect ourselves and live defending ourselves every second we breathe, wanting to control everything around so that we are safe. I felt the need to share this with you with the hope that if you are in the same boat as I am then this will help.


So this is how it all began,


It was a Saturday morning and I was very unwell. I woke up to comment against my name and something triggered me(my thorn- my fear). I reacted, I defended, cried foul, I fought, I ended up making the person who commented small. I kept thinking about what happened, why did I do what I did. I did not have answers but I knew that something wasn’t right. Now I know it was my way of protecting myself against all the conditioning I have gone through in my life, the limiting beliefs I have built. A painful realization that I have lived like this for so long. The best learning was that fear is a part of being human but its good to be present to it and not fight it. It’s ok to be wrong. It is never about the person who said anything its the thorn inside me which is hurting me. So it has always been about the thorn inside me.


The next time if someone is angry I hope and pray to God to give me the ability to pause and understand what is their primary emotion because anger is the secondary one and unfortunately we see just that emotion as it is on our face and loud. No one does anything to hurt us deliberately but they are fighting a war inside themselves. The primary emotion could be shame , fear, uncertainty, insecurity. Mine was shame. Something I have become aware of just now and hoping it stays with me.


Learning is an ongoing process so is self-care, the day we stop we become rusty and stink and will spiral without our own knowledge.


I wish you become aware of the demons you are fighting and let go of them and Breathe!


PS: Sorry to the person who I hurt and others who I might have hurt several times in the past, I wasn’t aware of anything. I did the best I could then.

	


	


			
				


			

			
The Unseen Bear
		
	
	

		
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
 
 
 


I was fortunate to travel to Yellow Stone last year and was excited about the hikes. The beautiful drive, vegetation, the different terrains blew my mind every second. One of the few times I have been present in “the now” as I had no time to look back or look ahead as Nature was in my company and she didn’t let me detract. Mother Nature is a healer and no one can do that job better than her is so true.


The moment I reached the hotel several signs freaked me out. The signage which said beware of Bear, how to protect myself from the Bear , what to do and what not to do, and mush more. The educational videos and immumerable sign boards tightened my chest. My stomach churned at the possibility of a bear attack. I wasnt sure if hiking was a good idea but then went with the flow.


The trails were beautiful and mesmerising while I enjoyed the view partially mostly my focus was on the bear. My mind was a whirl wind of questions, Was it following me? Was it closer? Did I just hear the Bear? Or was it wind? What will I do if it comes in front of me, will I remember all the things to do, so on and so forth. All the 5 days the terrains were differnet but fear remained the same. Was I living or dying was the question to answer here 🙂


After I left the place it got me thinking. Isn’t that the way we live everyday? With the fear of the unknown. With all the assumptions and adverse effects all created by our beautiful minds. The worst nightmares or horror stories spun by the mind. We dont realise that life is in the present moment and the best we can do is be present in the moment. We are looking at the Bears of the past and the Bears of the future and most times we dont even know what is the fear we harbour. Its the fear of the unknown. Its an epiphany that thinking about things or fretting about circumstances will not change the outcome. In my experince 80% of all that I thought or feared will happen has never ever happened. So maybe I am not good at it and should give up predicting future. Fear is good if it drives us to achieve something but it cripples us if we over think.


Fear or Faith choice is Ours, I chose faith in life and living in the present moment, what would you choose?


Wishing you peace!


Bee


 


 


 

	


	


			
				


			

			
The Gas Station
		
	
	

		
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I realized how blessed I am being an Indian or should I say spoilt? Living in a  country where someone is always around to attend to my needs. Be it my parents, friends, the guy at the parking ticket(this I never understood by the way), the boys/girls at the petrol bunk, the waiter who packs my leftovers happily, people to help me carry things home, someone to cook and clean my house and yada yada yada..This list can go on as I feel we live a life of luxury, I call it a princess life. So Bangalore country and India my world. I didn’t know of any world where people did things on their own(maybe I did but never experienced so!) and btw! I thought I was an independent woman living in India but in reality, I had a zillion souls helping me at every step and while I thanked them I never valued them in my opinion. The gratitude has increased many folds as I write this now as I know the value of this service/help.




My stay in the US has been nothing less than a self-discovery journey. Talking to the walls as it’s not easy to make friends in the city where I lived. Making my own decisions, carrying my own stuff and cleaning myself etc:).


I took time to soak in the experience and it wasn’t easy, trust me anything outside the comfort zone is not easy. But like they say that is where the magic happens and I connect with that more now.




While this struggle became a part of my life what changed is one experience. One of the days after I started driving I went to the petrol bunk aka gas station to fuel my car and for my dismay, I was left in a limbo as I haven’t done this darn thing on my own. I am so used to someone asking me to park, asking me how much fuel, doing small talk and asking for my card and me zooming away happily. My mind went into a whirlwind, how does this even work, what if I pour the fuel onto myself or the next car or what if I did something stupid as I didn’t even know how to hold the pump. I parked my car at the station and took a few deep breaths as I had to do this and my car was beeping/ hungry for fuel.




I gingerly pulled my car and waited behind the guy who was busy in his autopilot mode filling the fuel as this is what they usually do and has no thinking or learning as it all comes to them naturally(well! I know they started at some point). I walked up to him and said HELP!! and narrated how I was new and didn’t know to operate etc. He smiled and helped me through the process while I did it on my own. He explained things I should know and remember always. He was kind to wait for me to finish up filling the fuel and then waved me bye. I was left happy and filled with gratitude for this BIG help he did.




I learned two things,




Our world is not the end of the world as there is more to it and the day we recognize it we will be grounded


Ask and we shall receive. I let go of my need to know things, I didn’t google, I didn’t call anyone but I just asked and there was help readily waiting for me. So asking never hurts is my next learning.




I have been off blogs as I am exploring life and myself but I wanted to share this with you all as I feel it’s my responsibility to do so.




Thank you for reading!






Love and Light


Bee

	


	


			
				


			

			
You like it or not!
		
	
	

		
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Pic Courtesy – Pexels.com


You like it or not; there is no shortcut to hard work,


You like it or not; life is about ups and downs,


You like it or not, its ok not to find answers to all our questions,


You like it or not; we cant take all that money with us anywhere,


You like it or not; life is about imperfection,


You like it or not; there are no stars without a dark sky,


You like it or not; self-love is the best kind of love,


You like it or not, time heals,


You like it or not, people will judge,


You like it or not; things can change in a heartbeat,


You like it or not, life has its way of teaching us lessons,


You like it or not; nature is powerful than us,


You like it or not; health is wealth,


You like it or not; we cannot buy time,


You like it or not, life is much more than what we see,


You like it or not, the past cannot be changed,


You like it or not, future is unpredictable,


You like or not; life ends one day,


You like it or not, it’s now or never!


 


 


 

	


	


			
				


			

			
Life should come with a label “limited time offer!”
		
	
	

		
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
  
 
 
  
 
  
  


Image Courtesy – Google


It was just another day for me, doing my mundane chores. Keeping myself busy and then a beep on my WhatsApp app shattered me. I was heartbroken to read about Sridevi’s demise. I have several reasons for this as the Diva left me with a lot of learnings. I feel unsettled; I feel uncomfortable as I am reminded that life is uncertain and death is the only certainty for us humans.


She looked gorgeous, she looked fit, she had her stardom and a happy family, and all this is what we saw or what was visible to us on social media. I know they are stars and have to keep up with the glamour world. I understand that the competition is too high and I may not even have kept up to 54 if I was her. She was very young, and all this was all too fast, I wonder how her family will come to terms with this loss. I wish her soul rests in peace .


I grew up watching her; she is one woman who has made me laugh in movies. I somehow was unknowingly connected to her I guess, though I haven’t watched all her films. Never have I made any effort to follow her on social media, yet the news was heartbreaking. I was wondering why did it hurt me?


It taught me life is short and how short no one knows. We must be prepared to embrace death any moment.


I realized I am conditioned to keep away from the subject “death”. I was always discouraged from discussing death because it is not positive. Alas!I learned that it is the only confirmed event in our life and hence has to be openly spoken about. I searched for talks on death last evening and watched them on ted.com(There are some interesting ones if you are interested)


I learned that fitness or nothing we do would guarantee a long life. I have innumerable limiting beliefs I became aware of in myself. It struck me that the only thing that matters is if we lived our life to the fullest when we breathed our last. When it is the time, we have to leave.


I became aware that we are all a spec of dust and can vanish in no time. However BIG we are in the society we are not indispensable, and life goes on.


I realized that living with the thought that we are here for a limited period might snap us out of our past(which is over) and maybe help us stop brooding over the future(which is uncertain).


I realized all I want is to be remembered as a woman who lived her life to the fullest and someone who loved her laugh lines.


I realized that yesterday is in my mind and tomorrow is again a game of the brain and all I have is just the present moment. The fact is in most cases we are fine now yet unhappy because of the thoughts we carry. All the negativity and pain are in mind.


I learned that I am running out of time and the fact is nothing can tell us how much time are we left with.


I realized rules stop us from living; society is in my mind. It’s my life, and only I can live it. Finally, I die alone.


Procrastinating will only ensure I am dead soon as time waits for none as that word stops us from living life.


Laugh out Loud – Love yourself – Live Life is the only way to be happy and the only way we can spread happiness.


Many more thoughts and realizations occurred to me in the last 24 hours. Sridevi left a message loud and clear for me, and I will always be eternally thankful to her. What if I don’t wake up tomorrow morning? Will I have regrets for things I left undone? Will I have a happy story or a sad one in my timeline when my life flashes in the last moment? So here I am making my best efforts to live now.


Do you agree that we have limited time or are you still willing to live like death doesn’t exist? Do you believe that not talking about it will evade it? If today was the last day of your life what are the things you will do? You may want to think.


I wish you a happy life!

Bindu