My best year so far-2017

I learned that no one could be a source of my happiness,
I learned that Love heals,
I discovered there is no better way to love myself other than fitness,
I learned reading is food for the soul,
I learned social media is not real,
I rediscovered that food can make my soul smile,
I learned its important to express,
I rediscovered that music can heal,
I learned people come and go and change is the only constant,
I realized pain makes us stronger,
I realized commitment is what it takes to achieve goals,
I learned the ability to not do anything is a blessing too,
I realized traveling could change perspectives
I realized feedbacks play a vital role in my life,
I rediscovered that family comes first,
I learned that coloring is soulful,
I learned the power of affirmations,
I learned the importance of being in the moment,
I learned that crying is a symbol of strength,
I learned smile is the best language anyone will understand,
I learned to befriend my fears was better than fighting it,
I learned responding worked better than reacting,
I learned laughter was better than a painful word,
I learned a hug could solve everything in my life,
I learned words have the power to kill or heal,
I learned downs are essential to realizing the highs,
I learned self-love is the best love,
I learned space is the best when confused,
I learned silence is the best remedy when hurt,
I discovered I could craft my own life,
I learned the power of breathing,
I learned that listening is better than talking,
I learned that unlearning is the right way to living
I learned many more things …
Last but not the least I realized the power of gratitude!

Thank you for being a part of my 2017.

I wish you lot of learnings, discoveries, and happiness in 2018!

How not to be Mind-full! (Three simple everyday practices that help me be mindful. )

When I say the word “mindfulness,” I see people smirk or roll their eyes most times.  I am aware that their reaction is not because they find me amusing but because they don’t understand the word mindfulness. Living in the moment, being able to listen to the mind chatter and being entirely present to it is a huge task. It appears very simple. But simple is not easy.

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There are ways to create self-awareness, and these are things I have followed and continue to every day.

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Firstly, pause every 10 minutes and recollect what was the mind chattering while we were busy going about our daily lives. Make a mental note of all the points and continue with the chores. This practice can be repeated as frequently as possible in the beginning as this draws attention inwards and helps us focus on the present moment.

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Secondly, being aware of the breath can be a huge revelation trust me as we don’t like anything being repetitive.

Breathe deeply being aware of the air entering and leaving the nostrils. Deep breathing can be practiced all day for at least a few weeks. It becomes a habit eventually. We have to become aware that we are alive by the fragile breath and focus on it entirely. There are apps like calm and apple watch that can help us with mindful breathing. I prefer my body clock over the applications to avoid dependency.

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Thirdly, we should develop the art to listen and be ok with the negative self-talk, the horror stories that run inside our heads. It means we do not resist a thought but listen to it and be thankful that we are aware of all that is happening inside us. Always remember resistance makes the problem seem prominent than it is, so why not acknowledge the thought and befriend it.

I laugh at myself so many times when my mind whirls up negative thoughts as I am aware of its pattern and very well understand what can happen if I fall prey to it. Mindfulness ensures that we operate the mind and not vice-versa. Our mind can be that Robot in a Hollywood movie which captures the world and destroys everything until we realize the robot has a creator and also a remote control.

 

Being in control of life and being able to listen to all that and smile it off is a way we can remain sane with ourselves and our relationships. I have practiced all these, and it has helped me immensely hence wanted to share with all of you. The day we realize that we can control our mind unlike what it has done to us all these years we win the battle.

The clouds 

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I saw mountains covered by clouds one morning and got thinking . Clouds , Aren’t they like our thoughts and emotions ? They move constantly . They have the ability to make us believe there is nothing beyond them . Hadn’t I seen the mountain range earlier in Sun I wouldn’t have ever guessed that there could be another island beyond those beautiful clouds  . Our eyes believes what it sees and doesn’t question most times especially when it is right there in front of us . Similarly when we are in stress , anxiety , negative emotions we can’t fathom that there is life beyond that . We are stuck . We stare into the problem and make it bigger and forget there is horizon beyond. We don’t want to think anything beyond the problem and we believe that it will stay with us for life though we know life is all about impermanence(subconsciously ) . Be it the weather , traffic , relationships , health or  practically anything .While the reality is that the cloud moves , it makes patterns , it reveals sun and blue skies , it unveils beautiful islands and mountains . What is needed to see the beauty? Patience says my mind. Patience to look ahead and wait . Belief that they are clouds and are temporary and they will move and make way for better views . Trust that this theory won’t go wrong even if we shut our eyes and refuse to believe because Nature’s rule never changes . There is day after night.
I wish you loads of patience in life
Stay happy!
Bee

Poha Laddoo -Happy Diwali – Deepavali

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I am back with a recipe and this is inspired by all those people who sent me the laddoo Diwali wishes saying touch it on WhatsApp :D. I thought why not make some laddoos which I can indulge in without being guilty considering the efforts I put in to stay fit .In any case how can we miss sweets on Diwali’s? Even if we choose not to buy them, there are people waiting to feed us ain’t it ? I am not complaining here , this is my favourite festival for I love lights , Diyas , Sweets and the bakshish (No crackers please – I am scared of them for my allergies and ears ) concept which occurs once in a year . So without more ado let me share the recipe which is super simple and easy . No fancy ingredients nor time consuming .

Note : You can add more nuts here . I chose to stick to peanuts and thats by choice .

The ghee step can be completely avoided if you don’t like it. Otherwise am sure you know little ghee everyday is good for our fitness.

The jaggery measure is half cup because i like it mildly sweet , you can add more basis your preference .

Desiccated coconut will be great if added , very flavourful .

Ingredients :

Poha /Aval/beaten rice : 1 cup (picture missing in blog as i missed to click )

Peanuts : 1 cup

Jaggery: 1/2 cup

cardamom/elaichi : 2 to 3

Ghee – 2 table spoons (optional)

cashew/raisins – for garnishing (optional)

Milk (optional)

How to prepare :

Roast the peanuts and Poha separately keep them aside to cool. I used powdered jaggery , if you are using whole jaggery then you may want to shave it and keep it ready here . Once the nuts and poha cools  put them in the mixer along with elaichi and grind. Transfer the mix into a plate or a bowl for making laddoos.

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Now take a wok/kadai add ghee and the cashew/raisins and roast till light brown and transfer into our powdered mixture(i didn’t have raisins at home ) . Mix with a spoon to evenly spread and use hands to roll them into laddoos . I used some milk as a binding agent here , but its optional. If you don’t want ghee in it then you can use milk and mix it too .

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This can be stored in an airtight container and enjoyed everyday even after Diwali .

Happy Diwali folks

Love and Light

 

Being a Woman!#metoo

The #metoo statuses all over social media has not been alarming for me being a woman , I have always encountered this in my career being the face for the company I represented. I detested , felt uncomfortable , cried , cribbed and then learnt to deal with it . Not accept it but deal with it 🙂 . I remember this episode when I spoke to my manager and asked for a role change as in my first job all of it came as a shocker to me . Clients wanting to meet outside of work , a coffee request , a sleazy comment . I was petrified as a fresher out of college but as they say life goes on and we learn . Even I learnt . I realised so many men who do what they do ,will do that to anything that remotely looks like a woman and it became a joke in my head and i realised it was about them and not about me . I have met so many people who had assumed that a person who works in media , marketing should be available apart from being an alcoholic and a chain smoker *rollseyes* . I found the stereotyping amusing indeed. When they realise their perseverance isn’t working , there are a few(before giving up) who asked me then why do you dress up ?(LOL!) It was alarming as I have always dressed up be it rain or shine for my own self and never to please anyone ever *duh*.

Very early in my life I realised life isnt always fair to us ( no am not a feminist ).Over time people realized and gave up on me and new ones surfaced . The worst thing these men never learnt is that the world is too small and that  there could be big mouths who might be drumming about their talent(pun intended) in the market/industry 🙂

I got to a point where meeting people or even social media chats used to irk me . It still does and hence I am sure many people will label women like me cold or rude without realising the reason behind the way we are. The conditioning we have received all these years! I have tried being nice but then they work on the principle “has gayi, tho phase gayi” *tchtch* .

Wait why work places ?  This happens on social media , men in the name of professionals stalk on LinkedIn day in and out . Am not even going to Facebook scenarios *facepalm*  . Some don’t think twice before drafting a message Facebook , So what if I am someone else’s daughter , sister, girl friend , wife – who cares. I always wondered how these men will deal if something like this happened to their wives or daughters . Will they say “chill relax, ignore it, don’t over react “on second thoughts may be they will . To zillions of men who think women are objects for fun , remember karma is a bitch and I have always prayed that they be born a woman in their next birth ( I don’t know if another birth exists BUT I really hope this happens *grins*) but I don’t want to be born like them ever , I don’t mean turn tables . Its disgusting to be that ways !

And before I face the flake , this is about my experiences . Not all men are bad as I have met some amazing souls in my career , a loving one in my life and I repeat I am not a feminist 🙂 .i would like to thank #metoo for bringing up this side of me and what better way to celebrate Diwali than being in the light or should I say by getting rid of darkness .

Happy Diwali to all of you folks !! May this planet be a nicer place for all of us , let all parents feel safe about their daughters and sons.

Light and Love !

The Sink

I know , what a title right? I got this thought over a week ago but have been toying around with the idea;then was in procrastination mode , if I should write about this or no was the feud. I finally decided to blog:) . So the hero here , I mean the Sink is the kitchen one for me , well! It could be the one in the powder room or bathroom , doesn’t matter really .. When bollywood can come up with movies with random names like toilet …..etc  why not us right ? 😀

So what I was trying to say is I realised that the Sink is like our minds , it can get dirty in a minute or should I say a second… I clean the sink and become happy looking at my work and before I admire it any further either i put another dish into it or someone at home will and it looks dirty again . So I realised my dream of keeping it sparkly and clean will remain a dream forever . Just like our mind , if we dont watch and don’t feed positivity it will get negative and become toxic in no time . So it becomes very critical for us to keep the cleansing process ongoing be it every time we see it or every day and every night so that it is clean when we visit it in the morning . Who doesn’t like to wake up to a clean house in general be it the bed or sink or bathroom , how about we think the same for our mind ? Think positive through out the day, catch ourself loitering in the negative land and steer it towards the right direction. Look at the positives in each situation . Meditate or do something in which we give our 100% (be it running or cooking or reading , this is for people who dont connect with the word meditation ). The best will always remain sitting and focussing on our breath and last but not the least be thankful for everything we have . I know we feel we dont have all that we want but what we fail to see is what we have and appreciate it . Things like the roof, the food, our health , limbs , air , water , friends, family , tv , radio, car , bus , cycle etc etc . I mean we have a zillion reasons to be thankful for and keep our mind clean and stay happy always . A positive mind is a happy mind , a happy mind leads to happy relationships , happy relationships leads to a happy life .

Now do you realise where the sink led me to ? Well! I am thankful to the sink for teaching me this 😉

Stay Happy!

Bee

One Night ..

I feel so blessed to have a roof over my head on this chilly night,                                                          The view from the window is such a beautiful sight ,                                                 People traveling across the river , moving towards their destinations,                      Some celebrating love , some in pain ..

The reflection of moon is so pleasing to my eyes,
I wish the time stops and never flies ,
The lights from the boats remind me that traveling is life ,
I know , I say to myself – we are all born to travel ,
Doesn’t the earth travel around the sun ?
The sun has travelled so far that it’s night here and early morning somewhere else.
I wonder what is true and what is false ?
He will Come back to shine back on ,
To remind us that life is on .
The flickering street light , brings me back to where I am ,
The beautiful river , pier and distant light ,
I thank for the view in my heart ,
Smile and prepare to sleep , rest myself and my tired mind…
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Non Judgement – A way of life

Judging :
I have been searching the meaning(not the dictionary one) for this word from long now . I got different answers but was never satisfied , i felt that was not it . My soul was not satiated . It is so easy to say “dont judge” but explain that ? we are told “just be with it”, so easy aint it? . So my fued with the word was on and finally here I am with an answer 🙂 . Feeling happy and wanted to share the happiness with all of you so wanted to blog this right away .
Judgement is adding or subtracting facts to something we see . Being non judgemental is just seeing the event or person undistorted , no adding past to it , no adding masala to it but seeing the event or person for that moment/instant.
let me try to explain this better may be via an example . When a spouse 😉 (best example no?) says he/she did not like a particular thing you did , listening to that feedback as it is will make sure we are being non judgemental and voila! we can remain calm and hence happy . What we typically do is (this its very normal by the way ) we listen to what he/she said and add all the past experiences /stories he /she said and make that into something else and respond . The other person wouldn’t be prepared and unassuming that you have derived a different meaning out of something  simple he/she said . And this can lead to a BIG issue and this is an ongoing issue with most people .
How about listening to that they said and responding to what was just said by not adding any past story, fact , assumptions and seeing the event for what it is.
Life its so simple yes so complicated . Imagine what if we are allowed to record our thoughts and play to others ? we wouldn’t have foes forget friends 😀 . I am amused and amazed with another learning and gratitude towards the universe. This is very simple yet difficult , how can we ensure we see the event or person for that moment or that incident? Did you just ask that? Well!  by being aware and by living in the present moment . Living in the present moment is by default being non judgemental in my opinion.  Lets live . Lets love . Lets stay happy

Negativity is a spammer

A thought occurred to me , what if we consider negativity as a caller ? So many of us make sure we check unknown numbers on true caller before we respond or most times we don’t pick calls from unknown numbers . what if we train our mind to store negativity as a unknown spammer and choose not to pick it ? I wonder what will happen? When I was in Vipassana a few years ago I remember what the teacher told me . She mentioned that Buddha says when someone gifts you with negativity , anger , unhappiness or any not useful emotions tell them thank you, I don’t need them so I am not accepting it. Its basically not taking anything personally . I know it aint easy but it isn’t impossible either . Was wondering how our lives will change if each one of us will follow that one simple advise .

My mind as usual went into the thought mode. For example , in a peak traffic an annoying person does all that he/she can to block us but instead of loosing peace of mind and loosing perspective for the day what if we could say I am not allowing you to spoil the peace in my head as I reserve my energy for myself and do what we can do best – say breathing(consciously) ,or listening to music .

Or at a restaurant or office or at home , most times we end up being a part of anothers baggage and they easily pass the buck to us and we unconsciously end up carrying it with us . If its a bad beginning to a morning ,it can cause ripples and will ensure everything in the day is ruined , like the dominoes effect . So what if we chose to say, thank you but I dont need your baggage as I choose to spend my time on myself today , on my family today or on a loved one today . Basically what if we agree not to take anything personally ?